Alternative OFSTED gradings

[LadyMountbatten]

Discussing with a colleague how bored we are of hearing the word outstanding used.
Were suggesting the following as new descriptors:
1 - "fuckin' awesome
2 - .. Meh
3 - I wouldn't send my kids there
4 - one step away from NEET

You ?
Would love to read in a paper
"Toytown primary was rated "fuckin' awesome" by OFSTED

1. so good you'll rent in catchment
2. normal
4. Body Armour required.

The school was graded "INCREASED HOUSE PRICES". By OFSTED

1. Jumps through every hoop we set, but is shite with DC's with SN's.
2. Jumps through most hoops we set but has a half-hearted response to DC's with SN's.
3. Doesn't jump through the hoops we set, but is great for DC's with SN's.
4. SIOB. Soon to become an Academy.

1. Take Naice Ham for your lunch.
2. Take new books in.
3. Take Valium.
4. Take a stab vest.

I agree with couthy's first suggestion. In fact leave out 'with SNs' and I'd still agree with it

1 - aspirationally tense
2 - relaxed, but worried
3 - chill
4 - cattle prods

Love these.

Am in Scotland so avoid the 'joys' of ofsted.

1. SLT are broken from anxiety fuelled exhaustion.
2. SLT are broken from pressure to achieve a 1.
3. SLT are broken from pressure to achieve a 2.
4. SLT are sacked.