James Middleton memoir

[PrettyFlyforaMaiTai]

James Middleton is releasing a book called ‘Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life’. It talks about his battle with depression and how his dog helped him in his journey.

The Daily Mail have released an extract of the book. Whilst i’m on the fence about people cashing in on royal/celebrity connections, I found the extracts that I read are very sweet and beautifully written. It really shows how close the Middleton family are. Plus, im a complete sucker for an uplifting dog story.

It’s behind a paywall and I know how people feel about giving the DM clicks so I’ve linked the free article below for anyone who is curious.

archive.ph/qsSSe

I have just read the articles in the Mail over the last few days. Really interesting and quite moving around his mental health struggles and his story of Ella. Lovely to hear about his wife and baby, wish him all the best.

I would be interested to read this. Yes, it probably is a bit of a cash in and I do think there will be people who read it for Royal gossip. Provided it's truthful and he would happy for his child to read it, what harm is there? Didn't Pippa write a cook book?

I've read the excerpts in the DM. He seems a really sweet guy who has had a very bad time with clinical depression and a late diagnosis of ADD, which meant he didn't achieve academically as he was expected to. He is respectful of his own family and the RF, stressing how kind the late Queen was to him.

If the rest of the book is in the same vein, don't see an issue, it's harmless and good that he has been able to talk about his MH struggles, especially as a member of a "gilded" family.

I read the extracts and I actually found it very helpful on a personal level. My ds has been suffering from some mental health issues and has had some counselling. He is doing ok just now. However when he is doing badly, he struggles to articulate how he feels and when he is doing well, he doesn't want to talk. James Middleton's honesty is so useful in order to understand the feelings of someone struggling. I also really respected his honesty about his parents' reaction. They didn't get it right all the time and I know we have made mistakes ourselves. I also worry we did something wrong. However I know the Middletons are a close family who have always been there for their dcs. It makes me feel I don't have to be so hard on myself for 'failing' my son.

I'm glad your son is doing well @JSMill . I thought he was able to say some really useful things that acknowledge families don't always get things perfectly right, even with good loving relationships all round.

I found his preparations for his reading at Kate's wedding very touching.

Yes, the Queen was awfully sweet towards him. She allowed Ella to sleep in his room at Sandringham (apparently a special privilege) and smirked that “dogs will be dogs” when Ella escaped into the kitchen and James expected to get in trouble for it.

I really liked the excerpts in the link - thank you @PrettyFlyforaMaiTai. I also wanted to say @JSMill I get you - am sorry your DS has/is experiencing difficultuies with his mental health. My Dd had very severe anorexia (now recovered thankfully) and I really worried about my possible contribution to creating the domino effect leading to her anorexia and then on top of that how to best respond/manage her when she was so very ill. It is an absolute minefield and one with precious little parental support avaialble so I hear you and am sure you're doing the very best you can in any given moment - I hope he contiunes on a path of better health

Another article about the Middleton dynamic, how James got Ella and some royal anecdotes

archive.ph/pRgiA

I'm really glad your dd is in a better place. I have found more and more people sharing their experiences of having dcs suffering from poor mental health and that's a good thing as we all need support and to know we are not alone. It's also a bad thing though because I feel we are actually suffering from an epidemic of poor mental health amongst young people. That's why I really respect James Middleton for writing such a frank and honest book. We need to understand poor mental health issues better and it not to be a stigma.

@JSMill @myrtleWilson 💐💐

He's bound to get more attention because he is royal adjacent, but I think the story he is telling is important in its own right.

And it seems to be very much focussed on him, although mentioning the RF is inevitable as he cannot airbrush out his eldest sister and her DH. And the anecdote about dogs at Sandringham is entirely affectionate (and entirely in keeping with the late Queen's love of dogs).

The Queen seems to have been very good to him and instinctively understood the power of dogs to heal.
There's another very touching story about her, in this vein.
I read the memoir "War Doctor" by the surgeon David Nott. In it he describes lunch with The Queen when he was suffering from PTSD and she had him feeding the corgis under the table rather than suffer the pressure of conversation.

I must say I wouldn't think snappy corgis would be the best therapy dogs but I suppose as long as they are being fed biscuits they will be amenable.

Final page of the story.

I am familiar with that story but it still brings tears to my eyes. The Queen really seemed to be gifted at reading people and knowing the right thing to do.

I didn’t know that story - interestingly, the writers of the Crown seemed to have though, as there was a scene with Claire Foy where she put Jackie Kennedy at ease as they bonded over being introverts in an extrovert role while stroking and feeding corgi puppies. I thought it was an interesting scene at the time, it didn’t occur to me it had roots in a real conversation.

Anyway, as for James’ book - I have mixed feelings about that. He has the right to tell his own story, obviously, and given his family, that story will at times coincide with royal family members. But it very much looks like he’s trading on his insider knowledge when telling those stories.

It must be tough being a Royal in-law - so much access that there’s definitely a market to hear about. But I also think that comes with an expectation that you don’t share. Pippa managed it when she wrote a recipe book and various columns. I’m sure James had the approval of his sister to write his book. But I still think it’s a bit off.

I agree. I don’t think he would have published this without his family and perhaps William’s blessings.

It seems he found it difficult being Catherine’s brother. Not only from a fame perspective but he states that even at Marlborough, Catherine and Pippa were well renowned students and sport stars. I imagine it’s difficult to live up to that reputation when you’re not naturally academic or sporty. Luckily they seem a close family. It was lovely to see how Catherine and Pippa each tried to help him in their own distinctive way. It also shows the effect of how depression affects the people around the individual as well as the individual themselves. I cannot imagine how stressful the situation must have been for them when they couldn’t get in contact with him for days and thought he had done the worse.

Also, thank you for everyone for sharing their stories 🥰 You are all truly amazing.

He said that when he was at a really low point, Pippa came to his flat because she knew something was wrong but he wouldn't let her in. That must have been awful for her. I honestly believe that being open about what he and his family went through will be so helpful for other families who think they are the only ones experiencing these issues therefore it's their fault.

Can only go on the excerpts but I don't think the RF are going to mind someone being nice about them, especially after after recent events. Lots of adjacent people have written books over decades and this one seems to be at least helpful in talking honestly about clinical depression and the effect on not just the person suffering but the family.

It is interesting on the family dynamics. Makes it look as if the sisters were so effortlessly good at everything and he couldn't compete or live up to parental expectations. It seems realistic the way the parents are so clearly loving but don't know how to deal with a son who does not know his way.

That made me cry, thank you for posting it.

Lovely insight into the Queen's character in that excerpt from the surgeon's book. I've always imagined she was a 'no nonsense' woman, but at the same time, would be very respectful and sensitive to people who had suffered or been very courageous. And the much-criticised 'stiff upper lip' comes into play here, with the surgeon confirming that, in his case, it was just what was required - to let it all hang out, which is much more the way today, would have been too much for him.

I'm glad James M has written this book - he sounds a sensitive chap and it's brave of him and instructive for readers to know that, just because you've got 2 siblings who seem to glide effortlessly through life, it doesn't mean that you will too. Siblings are different but equally precious to their family.

Does Donna Air get a mention? They were together quite a while & I thought a shame they didn’t go the distance.

The excerpt just said that the end of the relationship was due to a bad decline in his mental health. I'd be surprised if there was anything critical of her. He's clearly much in love with his wife and really doesn't seem the type to take pot shots at anyone.

Having suffered from clinical depression myself I think it's entirely possible that some of that was in his head though. It's easy to forget that academic success is only one type of success and everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

He can do a lot of good being open and honest about depression and I wish him well. I'd always lovely to hear stories of family rallying round someone who is struggling and I'm glad they were able to do that away from the public eye.

@Uricon2 no, he’s too much of a gentleman. I like Donna & felt sad when it came to an end for them.