Royal acts of kindness

[Alltheprettyseahorses]

Based on a RL conversation I had today -

I'm not a monarchist at all so I don't have many examples lol, but I think Kate Middleton's low-key visit to the Sarah Everard vigil was 100% spot on, even down to only taking female bodyguards so she didn't disrupt the women-only space. I imagine she must have been personally deeply affected by the terrible murder and if a journalist hadn't recognised her behind her facemask no one would have ever known she'd gone. I don't approve of the royal family but I really think that was a lovely, human and humane thing to do.

My former teacher (in New Zealand) daughter worked as one of Wales aides for many years (when they were still the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge), and on their tour to New Zealand they took the time to meet him and his wife.

More 'minor' royal but I appreciated Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh volunteering for the NHS during the pandemic.

A member of the royal family writes a personal letter of thanks or condolence or something and it's as if they've done something amazing.

It’s different though - I, like most people, write letters of condolence to people I personally know, or about people I personally know, because it would be a bit strange to write them to people I don’t know at all. The urge to do so though is probably where the current tradition of leaving flowers or teddy bears at a focal point has come from.

If you are a someone with particular standing in a society or community, it’s a different thing. A mayor, a headmaster, a CEO, a Vicar, a member of the Royal Family - they have the opportunity to offer their condolences more generally to mark someone’s life or loss that the general public don’t really have. Taking the time to do that personally is a nice thing to do on behalf of any of them, I think. It’s hard to know how common it is - I know one CEO who has taken the time to do this and I have been impressed by their thoughtfulness. I would think the same of anyone with this standing who does similarly, because many wouldn’t think to do so.

For some reason this really moves
me, more than the other stories. Philip knew what bereavement felt like.

First time I’ve heard of this. What did she do?

It was St John’s ambulance. Not the NHS directly. That would probably have been a bit too political. She was helping out with vaccinations

Obviously it's to Sophie's credit that she volunteered for the St John's Ambulance. But loads of people did. What is particularly special about her doing it? Frankly, why didn't they all-well all the ones fit enough. It's not as if there was anything stopping them.....

I agree. Admittedly many things on here are acts of kindness but things like writing letters to bereaved employees, and doing the equivalent of putting a tenner of someone elses money in a charity box is not particularly an ' act of kindness'. Re Kate going to the Sarah Everard memorial, she could have gone in a mask if she didn't want to be recognised. But maybe she didn't want to be arrested, thrown to the ground and handcuffed, as happened to other women just after she left.

@Notachristmaself "But maybe she didn't want to be arrested, thrown to the ground and handcuffed, as happened to other women just after she left."

Pretty unlikely considering the presence of her security detail and the planning that would have gone into the visit. She would have been fine in a mask.

That's what I mean. The police waited until after she had left to decide a vigil in the open air for a woman murdered by a police officer breached covid restrictions.

Well so far I think all the actions written about would be lovely by anyone.

i like Kate and think she does a lot of kind things. but the vigil stuff was not kind.
she made it all about her. she could have worn a mask and been unrecognisable

The rewriting of modern history is entertaining, if nothing else.

Catherine went to the park next to where she lived in the afternoon, when about half the people there also weren't wearing masks, and when people were still social distancing.

The vigil was in the evening, and there was no social distancing. This is when the Police intervened (they shouldn't have, but that's another thread).

The afternoon was not planned and most people (Catherine included) drifted in, then left soon after. The evening event was planned, and was much busier, with people crowded together in a single area.

Criticise her going if you wish, but don't misrepresent what she did.

I wouldn’t say the Sarah Everard vigil was an act of kindness personally, but it was very poignant and meaningful. I remember a source saying she went because she too remembers what it was like walking around London after dark as a young woman and the dangers it entails. I think that was what was so horrifying about the Sarah Everard murder. It could have been any one one of us that night. And it could be any one of us on any other night.

I think she should have been allowed to attend the vigil maskless, as a sign of respect. It’s not like she brought a camera crew with her to film/photo her doing it. I find it far more respectful than just making a statement to the press, especially considering she only live 20-30 minutes away from where it was being held.

I don’t think she made it all about her because she didn’t wear a mask. She was outside after all

She clearly did want attention or she’d have worn a mask and no one would have been any wiser.

What, in your opinion, should she have done if the vigil happened pre-Covid? Say it happened in 2019 and masks weren’t a thing? Or would you recommend that she not go at all as it would be perceived as attention seeking?

It didn’t happen pre covid though. Sarah would probably still be alive if there were no covid so there wouldn’t have even been a vigil. If she’d worn a mask she could have paid her respects in private.

The RF don't attend anything unless they get publicity for it. If they did things privately it would be the end of them. They have to be seen otherwise there is no real reason for their existence as heads of state. It is a business to them and if any of you think any differently then you are sadly deluded. Those of you that have said in the past that William is a reluctant king in waiting that's not true. He is keeping the gravy train going so his children can continue to gain from it but sadly he will have the same problems as those that went before him. A family they maybe but at the end of the day it is a firm and within that you get the resentment and jealousy you would get in any family when you have to be beholden to the eldest sibling to keep you accustomed to the style you are used to living.

She should have worn a mask. She didn't because she wanted to be praised for going.

Okay. But say something similarly awful happens next year and she wants to pay her respects by laying flowers on a vigil in a private moment. Are you saying she has to wear a mask whenever she does this just to assure a few people that she is not ‘attention seeking’?

She also didn’t need to wear a mask. The vigil was being held outside and social distancing was being adhered to.

And you know this how, exactly?

Common sense. Most were in masks. She wasn't. Why wouldn't she want to? Nothing the RF do is spontaneous. She knew she'd be photographed if she didn't wear one, much less likely if she did. She made a choice knowing that her choice would get attention and that that attention would be largely if not exclusively positive. It was a PR exercise as much as a show of compassion.

Lots of people were in masks, yes. But not most, I don’t think. If you look at the second embedded video on this link there’s a few unmasked people in this short video taken by the person who spotted Kate.

https://news.sky.com/story/duchess-of-cambridge-pays-tribute-at-memorial-site-for-sarah-everard-12245021

She wouldn't have the perfect excuse to go incognito now, but she did then. She would have known she would have drawn attention and there would be a good chance someone would photograph her. If she really wanted to go incognito she could have worn a mask. She wouldn't have stood out. It would have been difficult for the press to print any photo of her wearing a mask with, for example, her hair tied back. She didn't. She absolutely wanted to be seen.

'Common sense. Most were in masks.'

When Catherine went, there were plenty of unmasked people. She was noticed by one person. She didn't go during the vigil when the press were there, so no, not trying to draw attention to herself at all. You're determined it was performative so no-one will change your mind.