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The royal family
Original poster

Table plan at wedding

151 replies

BradfordGirl · 07/01/2023 16:52

Apparently at Harry and Meghan's wedding reception the table plan followed the American protocol of sitting couples next to each other. William and Kate insisted on changing the table plan at their table and having couples sitting apart.

OP posts:
ShamedBySiri · 07/01/2023 22:04

One of my sisters swapped seating cards at the wedding of a niece and my sister who was the mother of the bride was furious and didn't speak to her for seven years afterwards. She's since fallen out with all of us (ie one sister not speaking to the others three) for other perceived injustices I won't go into here. Just to point out that swapping seating arrangements is highly contentious and risks social suicide.

XanaduKira · 07/01/2023 22:05

Mumsnut · 07/01/2023 18:16

There's a bit of hypocrisy there.

We announced our pregnancy at Eugenie's wedding - aren't we wonderful!?

They changed their table round at ours - arent they evil swine??!!

Very good point. Could you imagine if it had been the other way around?!!

toomuchlaundry · 07/01/2023 22:05

If the guests were happy with the changes isn’t that important, as you are meant to ensure your guests are happy

00100001 · 07/01/2023 22:08

ShamedBySiri · 07/01/2023 22:04

One of my sisters swapped seating cards at the wedding of a niece and my sister who was the mother of the bride was furious and didn't speak to her for seven years afterwards. She's since fallen out with all of us (ie one sister not speaking to the others three) for other perceived injustices I won't go into here. Just to point out that swapping seating arrangements is highly contentious and risks social suicide.

Who'd want to be fucking friendly with a mad woman who doesn't speak to you for 7 years because you sat 90cm further or the left than she would have preferred???

MissHavershamReturns · 07/01/2023 22:10

Just remembered my grandmother swapping wedding seating once. I was about 21 and had been placed next to a rather difficult older male relative and she wanted me to be sat away from him as he could be a bit unpleasant. I have no idea if anyone noticed or cared. I think I told her off a bit but she insisted she sit next to him instead of me.

gawditswindy · 07/01/2023 22:10

AvocadoPlant · 07/01/2023 21:52

But William was Best Man, surely he was on the top table?
When my DH was best man, he sat on the top table next to the Groom’s mum, and I sat on a table nearby with friends/family.

But presumably friends /family that you didn't know if it was a posh wedding, and actual friends / family if you're common as muck.

HoppingAndHoping · 07/01/2023 22:10

Seating couples together can contribute to conversation being a bit insular (and boring) imo. Especially if the couples don't already know each other...

Being seated between two couples may also be awkward for anyone without a plus one...

But my personal preferences are obviously not particularly relevant on somebody else's wedding. (Switching whilst remaining at the same table is fine. Rearranging the place cards in advance would have been very rude).

Original poster
BradfordGirl · 07/01/2023 22:20

Except everyone who thinks this is rude has also said it is rude to announce your pregnancy at someone elses wedding.

Those who think changing a whole seating plan at a wedding table is fine though, think it was rude to announce the pregnancy.

OP posts:
WeWereInParis · 07/01/2023 22:22

ShamedBySiri · 07/01/2023 22:04

One of my sisters swapped seating cards at the wedding of a niece and my sister who was the mother of the bride was furious and didn't speak to her for seven years afterwards. She's since fallen out with all of us (ie one sister not speaking to the others three) for other perceived injustices I won't go into here. Just to point out that swapping seating arrangements is highly contentious and risks social suicide.

The mother of the bride needs to get a grip.

I wouldn't move seating cards around at someone else's wedding, but seven years of not speaking??

00100001 · 07/01/2023 22:25

BradfordGirl · 07/01/2023 22:20

Except everyone who thinks this is rude has also said it is rude to announce your pregnancy at someone elses wedding.

Those who think changing a whole seating plan at a wedding table is fine though, think it was rude to announce the pregnancy.

Announcing your pregnancy at someone's wedding is a dick move.
That's trying to make an event that is about Bride and Groom about New Mum and Dad.

The only people who are allowed to announce they're having a baby is the Bride and Groom themselves.

Sitting 90cm further left than where piece paper was.... Nobody gives a shit or would even notice. And they would still love their significant other despite there being an entire person between them for a few hours.

AutumnCrow · 07/01/2023 22:30

BradfordGirl · 07/01/2023 18:16

@Alighttouchonthetiller William, Kate and Pippa were rude.
Of course they just got on with the wedding. What do you expect Harry to do? Attack William?

Absolute fucking riff raff mate, it's a dissgrase

00100001 · 07/01/2023 22:33

AutumnCrow · 07/01/2023 22:30

Absolute fucking riff raff mate, it's a dissgrase

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It's ok, Megs would be there holding Hazza back saying "he's not worf it Haz...leave it babes"

TimeforaGandT · 07/01/2023 22:39

Think I am pretty ordinary but still don’t understand why you would seat people next to partners when they generally see them seven days a week.

trucklebrunch · 07/01/2023 22:45

Nitpicking about seating arrangements at the wedding and lipgloss seems so picky and trivial....we are of course lapping it up. But in the scheme of things little disagreements like this or a funny look from a family member happen all the time and hardly seem worth mentioning.

Samcro · 07/01/2023 22:48

XanaduKira · 07/01/2023 22:05

Very good point. Could you imagine if it had been the other way around?!!

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As I asked earlier
can someone tell me did she stand up and announce it?

toomuchlaundry · 07/01/2023 22:48

I don’t think I would have noticed (or cared) if guests changed where they were sitting at my wedding as long as everyone was happy and everyone got the food they ordered. I certainly wouldn’t be writing about it in a book a few years later

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 07/01/2023 22:52

BradfordGirl · 07/01/2023 22:20

Except everyone who thinks this is rude has also said it is rude to announce your pregnancy at someone elses wedding.

Those who think changing a whole seating plan at a wedding table is fine though, think it was rude to announce the pregnancy.

I think announcing the pregnancy was rude, and I think changing the seating plan was also rude. I agree with you that some people are just team whoever no matter what happens

WeWereInParis · 07/01/2023 22:53

@Samcro I think I read that in the book Harry says they told Charles before the reception, and William and Kate at the reception. (Possibly Pippa as well because he says he went to tell Kate while she was talking to her.)
I've not seen the actual excerpt where that is written though, just a write up of it.

SenecaFallsRedux · 07/01/2023 23:12

WeWereInParis · 07/01/2023 22:53

@Samcro I think I read that in the book Harry says they told Charles before the reception, and William and Kate at the reception. (Possibly Pippa as well because he says he went to tell Kate while she was talking to her.)
I've not seen the actual excerpt where that is written though, just a write up of it.

I plan to read the book, but if this is all they did then I don't see why people are so outraged about it. Based on some of the comments on these threads it seems that people think they stood up at the reception and announced it to everybody.

They were getting ready to leave for an extended official trip. This may have been the last time that they would have been able to tell people in the family in person before they left. And as I recall, she was beginning to show a bit. She certainly did on that trip.

In my family, and in most families I know, this would have been perfectly acceptable. But then, most of us don't ascribe to the notion that a wedding puts all other good news in the family on hold. And they didn't make the public announcement until after the wedding.

Samcro · 07/01/2023 23:13

So they told a couple of people. Hardly announced it to all and sundry

ShamedBySiri · 07/01/2023 23:13

*The mother of the bride needs to get a grip.

I wouldn't move seating cards around at someone else's wedding, but seven years of not speaking??*

She is someone who is quick to take offence @WeWereInParis 🙄

ShamedBySiri · 07/01/2023 23:23

It occurs to me that with regard to seating arrangements, as with so much in life, one can choose to look for the positive or the negative.
For instance being seated between an aged aunt and a lonely singleton might seem like one has been doomed to a dreary time, and one could be miffed that the bride didn't find you nicer companions. But maybe the bride wanted the elderly aunt and lonely singleton to have a fab time sat next to someone lovely and chatty?
Take it as a compliment and do your best and the evening may turn out more enjoyable than initially expected.

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 07/01/2023 23:25

SenecaFallsRedux · 07/01/2023 23:12

I plan to read the book, but if this is all they did then I don't see why people are so outraged about it. Based on some of the comments on these threads it seems that people think they stood up at the reception and announced it to everybody.

They were getting ready to leave for an extended official trip. This may have been the last time that they would have been able to tell people in the family in person before they left. And as I recall, she was beginning to show a bit. She certainly did on that trip.

In my family, and in most families I know, this would have been perfectly acceptable. But then, most of us don't ascribe to the notion that a wedding puts all other good news in the family on hold. And they didn't make the public announcement until after the wedding.

Show quote history

Fair point. Mind you look at the drama over lipgloss (gross I wouldn't share, but also I wouldn't do a face, I'd just discreetly chuck it out) ... if this is how mental your family are (all of them), best to tread lightly. Not that any of us have any clue anyway and are just speculating because it's entertainment 😮

Saltywalruss · 07/01/2023 23:25

TheHauntedPencilCase · 07/01/2023 17:22

I've never been to a wedding where couples were separated! Didn't realise it was a tradition....

Me neither!

My2pence2day · 07/01/2023 23:30

ShamedBySiri · 07/01/2023 23:23

It occurs to me that with regard to seating arrangements, as with so much in life, one can choose to look for the positive or the negative.
For instance being seated between an aged aunt and a lonely singleton might seem like one has been doomed to a dreary time, and one could be miffed that the bride didn't find you nicer companions. But maybe the bride wanted the elderly aunt and lonely singleton to have a fab time sat next to someone lovely and chatty?
Take it as a compliment and do your best and the evening may turn out more enjoyable than initially expected.

Oh that's very lovely, I have never thought about it that way. I hate when I'm stuck sitting next to someone boring!

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