Diana's age at time of marriage.

[Peedoffo]

I'm in my 20s so I really don't remember Diana. I did more reading on the subject and I can't believe the establishment thought it was ok to marry a 19 year old off to a man 13 years older than her who had no interest in her. No wonder she struggled this was the 1980s as well not the Victorian times! Could anyone around then tell me , why did her family back/support the marriage? Was there any concerns from the public ? I would be horrified at the thought of marrying my DD off at 19 to a much older man who wasn't really interest.

What are these 'standards' that didn't apply 40 years ago?!

I was a teenager then and, like loads of people at the time, we were aghast at the absolute shit show that was this sham marriage. We had standards then, you know and we could see this was a disaster waiting to happen. It wasn't OK. Most everyone could see that (apart from the Royal loons who festoon themselves with union jacks and queue up on the Mall for a month. They still do that today. Oh, and obvs the RF themselves - who are still just as loopy today, tbh)

She was a teenager on engagement. I remember lots of us feeling VERY uncomfortable about that.

What it did mean is that suddenly the RF got Very Interesting. Before Diana, they really were a lot of boring irrelevant old duffers. She deffo changed all that for a while.

Absolutely Charles is to blame. But I don't know that the post about forced marriage is too far from the target to be honest. Charles didn't want to marry Diana. He was forced by his family to find a suitable brood mare. And although legally an adult, would Diana's consent to the marriage meet the legal test of informed consent, I wonder?

If it were another culture we would condemn this as an arranged marriage.

Exactly that. Most of my friends got married at around 20 in the mid 70s. A 12 year age gap is hardly unusual now.

And of course it was an arranged marriage. Unfortunately the bride wasn’t made aware of that.

I agree but I think she wasn't made aware because people assumed she knew

Diana only met him a dozen times before the wedding. She knew the score. It was hardly a normal situation, but she was infatuated and probably enjoyed the attention.

If it were another culture we would condemn this as an arranged marriage.

Not when the bride is 19 going on 20 at the time it takes place, we wouldn’t. Well past the age of legally being considered able to make up her own mind.

Arranged marriages are different to forced marriages.

Lots of people in my family have had arranged marriages, all adults, all fully consenting, most of them happy.

Agreeing to marry a man she hardly knew would indicate to me that she was we aware that it was an arranged marriage. Arranged marriages very often work out, this one didn't.

Of course it wasn’t an arranged marriage. Both parties consented and it was between them. Not the families. The families may have welcomed it but that a not the same as an arranged marriage:

I think the marriage was arranged in such a way as “marry him, it’ll be the making of you/what do you expect to do going forward now with your job?/if not him think about marrying someone else/do you expect us to subsidise you for much longer? (Rented flat).”

As much as the relatives say (some) that there was no pressure/scheming, of course there was!

Unless you’re very mature you don’t know anything at 20 if you’re sheltered. I was engaged at 20 to someone I barely knew as I met him on leave when he visited his cousin in London and stayed, my fiancé was from another continent anyway. Thank god after 2 years I took a close friend’s advice, saw sense and broke it off. My DM was happy for me to get married as she liked my fiancé a lot (even if I was moving across the Atlantic). I’d be divorced with 2 kids and back in the UK now.

I wasn’t born until just before Diana died, so I’m not sure if it influences my perspective, but I personally think it’s a good thing Charles wasn’t the least bit interested in marrying a 19 year old who was 13 years his junior? Anyone else?

He was strongly pushed towards doing it though by his parents and it was a disaster.

I was almost 15 when Charles and Diana got married. I remember thinking that she hardly seemed much older than me and my friends and I thought that the whole situation must have felt so intimidating for her. As it later turned out, that was more or less a correct assumption.

I am in my seventies so I remember it well. I thought she was young and a bit stupid and I didn't think Charles was in love with her. I thought she was in love with being the Princess of Wales In my opinion, I thought he thought that love might grow between them. Obviously, it was a hideous mismatch and I think she became revengeful. It was a tragedy for both of them.

Ditched both the OW, you mean.

Camilla is the one talked about, because she's very much still around. But around the time Charles married she was not the only one, and there was no reason to think she'd be an enduring part of his life

He clearly had some degree of interest or he wouldn’t have done it. While it’s considered scandalous now, it was a pretty common situation in 1981. She was 20 on her wedding day, by the way. I was 18 on mine.

I have heard there were three, despite his lack of attractiveness. That's princely pulling power for you!

Women of that age were not infantilised as they are these days.

Bravo! You are so right! At last some sense!

Yes, that’s very true. Women became adults when they were adults.

I think for most people we are not part of the 'aristocratic circle' for want of a better phrase.

They all seem to date each other, Andrew Parker-Bowles dated princess Anne.

So it sounds like she was 20 on her wedding day. I was 21 and married in 83. People married younger then. Even today a 20 year old marrying someone in his 30s is not particularly unusual. It is certainly not illegal or force marriage or under age even with the very very new English law that you cannot marry at 16 any more in England in 2023 (you could with parents' consent until I think this year) which is a bit unfair on UK cultures where people marry young and do not have relationships outside marriage in my view but there we are - couples will need to get up to Gretna Green as ever if they are 16 now....

I was only 9 but I remember her father basically announcing boadting that she was a virgin. Was a bit shocked.

i think women that age assumed adult responsibilities, but really they should have been encouraged in making careers for themselves etc and securing their financial futures and experiencing single, independent life while maturing. back then women were more likely to be encouraged to marry and have children. as a result, we are now seeing growing numbers of poverty stricken older women.

It was actually Diana's uncle, Lord Fermoy, who said that. He was prompted by talk of her having to undergo a gynaecological examination (which I imagine would have been more to do with fertility than virginity); he said, "I can assure you Diana has never had a lover", or words to that effect.

We’re not now seeing growing numbers of poverty stricken older women. A lot of us started our careers in our early 30s. We then had a 30+ year run without the need for maternity leave (just as well because there wasn’t any) and with our kids’ primary schooling in the rear view mirror. We didn’t just sit on our arses after having our kids in our early 20s.

All my friends had careers and are independently financially secure. The women who aren’t are those who worked in essential but lowly paid jobs like care work and that’s not going to change any time soon.