Should the Royal Family have ladies-in-waiting?

[OutWalkin]

I've just seen a story that the Queen Consort is unlikely to have ladies-in-waiting and that neither her nor the Princess of Wales have had them previously when they could have.

What do you think? Is it outdated and time to retire the whole thing? Or is it an efficient way of formalising support and companionship that they'd have anyway?
In their position, who would you choose as a lady-in-waiting?

(Also, I just learnt that they are not paid roles, which I thought they would be).

Not paid as such maybe, but I'm sure they get an allowance, plus free board and lodgings, food etch, and I'm sure the monarch sets up a trust fund for their comfortable retirement.

I don't think its everyones cup of tea but could just be called a companion.

I think the role of Lady in Waiting used to be a much coveted role for the daughters of the aristocracy as it gave entree to the royal court. I think those days are long long gone. In the case of our late Queen, especially towards the end of her life, it must have been helpful to have someone with her at all times. If Camilla and Catherine have managed without thus far I am guessing they will not see the need now.

I suppose it is whether they want to have someone who is more like a supportive friend in the entourage, rather than just paid staff.

Up to them what sort of support they want

I agree with Winnie.
In essence, when you spend a lot of hours travelling to places, I would think it rather nice to have a friends along for the ride - someone to chat with that you feel relaxed with.

There's no "should" about it though - up to them how they make their lives easier.
Probably wouldn't suit a lot of the people on MN who, in very unlikely disproportionate numbers all seem to declare themselves introvert. But would probably suit people who relax by chatting with friends.

I think back in the day, with all the endless boozing and events it’d essentially be like having session-buddies along like a party entourage. So I’d have them in that scenario but maybe not in the modern era.

I used to work in fundraising, including working on some events with minor royals. The Lady in Waiting was a very useful part of the machine that kept a meet and greet working smoothly.

As the royal chatting to one person, a member of the charity staff lined up the next, and told the LiW the person's name and connection to the charity. The LiW then caught the royal's eye, and as the royal wrapped up with person 1 they had the details of the next.

Yes, the member of staff could have done it directly to the royal - but maybe they would get flustered, mumble, etc and there would be an awkward pause.

The LiW got the info quietly, then did a reliable intro. Probably less nerve wracking for the royal than relying on a stranger.

But horses for courses, if the current lot don't want them then no problem

What are they? Is it like sister wives?

A major difference between Queen Elizabeth and Camilla/Kate... C&K have had a major part of their lives in the real world to make friends etc. Elizabeth had a protected childhood and became Queen at a very young age... official companions were her friends.

im not so sure about the financial side, the royals don’t appear to pay generous salaries.

I agree with those saying that the royals nowadays are far more likely to split the traditional role between paid professionals and genuine friends and family. But you can see how a genuine friend could become a LiW. Big, foreign trip or busy period coming up and you ask your friend along for general support and companionship…

What are they? Is it like sister wives?

Are you American by any chance?

Probably wouldn't suit a lot of the people on MN who, in very unlikely disproportionate numbers all seem to declare themselves introvert. But would probably suit people who relax by chatting with friends.

For me as in introvert this would work. It would really help to have someone I could chat with who I knew and could relax with, which would get me ready to meet a load of randoms, which I would find more difficult.

Did they not also do admin tasks for the Queen too, like replying to correspondence on behalf of the Queen?

She also used to pass the flowers she got given on walkabouts to a LIW. I suppose was a useful companion to have when she went on Royal duties herself without Philip

Ladies in waiting don't get paid. Back in the 16th century though they'd live at court and have their expenses paid, and they'd be rewarded with gifts of cash and land. It was also a good position from which to find a suitable husband. Men had them too (though they weren't men) - Henry VIII treated his a bit like an entourage. Oh, and he had affairs with Catherine of Aragon's ladies in waiting.

There's a typo in my post - men had a male version of ladies in waiting.

Valets?

I think the role of lady in waiting will have changed quite a bit compared to what it used to be hundreds of years ago.

If the queen consort or Kate don't want one then fair enough.

Likewise, if the do want one, and there are people willing to have that role, I don't see what difference it makes to us

After the monarchy became subject to parliament in 1688 and then parliamentary parties evolved it became the custom for the Queen to ensure some of her ladies in waiting were the wives of those in government (who were always in the aristocracy in those days!). It caused big scandals for two Queens, Anne and Victoria.

Anne was pressured by Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough and lady in waiting, to dismiss Sarah’s cousin Abigail from her lady in waiting role. When Anne dig her heels in Sarah, who was very connected politically, tries to get parliament to force the Queen to act and it all ended very messily. Then Victoria absolutely refused to appoint any opposition ladies in waiting after her first Prime Minister, Lord Melbourne, lost power, and the incoming Prime Minister refused to form a government. Big crisis!

These days I think it’s no longer acceptable to have someone essentially doing a valuable job (they wrote lots of letters on behalf of the Royal the work with, at the very least!) and not actually pay them. And yes, I think royal women are much freer to have a social circle than used to be the case, so they aren’t needed as companions any longer b

I can't imagine anyone aristocratic wanting to do this today. Even when the Queen was young, there were not the same opportunities for women as there are now.

I am another one who declares myself an introvert, but contrary to your thoughts I would love to have someone I get on well and easily with as my companion, or Lady-in-Waiting if you prefer. As I find it so difficult to make friends, and even converse with strangers, having a person that I could relax with, and trust at all times, particularly on State occasions, would be extremely valuable to me.

They have nearly always been drawn from the aristocracy, so knew how to behave in all sorts of situations, and at least many of them seem to have been friends with Her Majesty before their appointment as a LiW.
But I presume that, at least on busy days, Camilla will have a maid who will do things like doing up tricky buttons, zips, pearl necklaces, etc and that she will send Camilla's clothes for washing and ironing etc. So I do think that the LiW is more of a companion, who probably has a Mary Poppins bag of safety pins, threaded needles, extra tights - maybe even an extra set of knickers 🤭 - just in case of mishaps while Camilla is out and about on official duties.

I am sure that the Princess of Wales does most of those things for herself, with the help of Prince William for tricky zips and necklace clasps, but as she gets more and more busy she will probably get her own maid and companion or LiW - in a few years time that could be her own sister, if Pippa stops having more babies 😊. I know who I would want as my companion, my cousin-in-Law, she is a very special person, and one of the few people that I can completely relax with.

The Princess of Wales has staff to help with dressing as they all do.

Kate definitely does not do her own laundry! I'm not that rich and definitely not as important and I don't do my own laundry. At the very least they'll have a maid come every day to do all that stuff (and more than likely they have someone living in to clear up after dinner etc). Why wouldn't you?!

No I am only joking - I think it's better to just have friends as companions.

I think that professional assistants perform those functions for Camilla and Catherine as they do for the men in the royal family as well.

I believe Sophie has a PA who duals the role with being her lady in waiting. for engagements and such. She is paid

I came here to say this. @PuttingDownRoots said it much better.