Urgent deletion required as OP outed

[DeRigueurMortis]

Hello,

Please can you hide this thread as the OP has been outed.

I've posted on the thread to say I'm making the request here.

My partner did a really stupid thing www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4102481-My-partner-did-a-really-stupid-thing

Thanks

This is a really good reminder, thank you. Off to change my name.

@DeRigueurMortis - good to know, thank you.

@BubblyWater

This is a really good reminder, thank you. Off to change my name.

See you tomorrow as WateryBubble 😂

I reported this earlier, thanks NightWatch .

People do get too comfortable on here. Many years ago I received a PM from a username that had never posted identifying me down to home address. I deleted account, took a break, moved city before registering again. I don't even use SM either. Very scary.

How do you name change? I've wanted to sometimes but couldn't figure out how

@Furries

Do people really read a post, then try to find “stuff” on SM which then leads to asking about colour of laptop (repeatedly) which then leads to post being taken down as possibly outing?

I’m bloody gobsmacked that people would have a) the time and b) the inclination to go searching like that.

Best that post is taken down, but by god some people are nos6 and demanding of info!

The people asking the colour, including myself, were unclear why op didn't respond to the first person who asked the colour. I expect all assumed she overlooked their post. Why would anything think they had done social media hunting? Everyone thought they might have the laptop. Like that time with the engagement ring in Archway. And even the first poster who mentioned the colour didn't say they found it on facebook - if op had just said yes it's purple I doubt anyone would have given it a second thought. But daft of op to start the thread without name changing, if she had already posted all over SM as fully identifiable. Hardly reasonable to make out anyone else on the thread did anything wrong. Storms and teacups.

@joystir59

On the website

www.mumsnet.com/member/registration-details

Login, then enter a new username in the "username" field before clicking save.

I use the iOS app but expect it's the same on Android:

Go to the "Active" tab, click the three horizontal lines icon at top-right and choose "My Mumsnet". Enter a new username and click save.

Why would anything think they had done social media hunting

They wouldn't. The people who don't comment much are the ones who do that. Trolls just read and learn.

[quote DeRigueurMortis]@Furries unfortunately yes.

Sometimes it's just a "kick" to prove how clever they are in outing the OP, but other times it can be more sinister.

As with any online forum the key is not to divulge anything you would not want to be made public

I think people get secure in the anonymity of MN and forget the accumulation of information they have shared, from where they live (responding to a "is this school good" thread), their politics (on Brexit threads) and lifestyle (advocating premium expensive make up/clothes on style and beauty) etc etc...

All it takes is an advanced search to see all posts and accumulate the information.

It's why it's either good to be very circumspect about what personal info you post or name change regularly.
[/quote]
All true.

In a moment of distress recently I posted something about my job that if advanced search could easily have outed me. MN kindly deleted and then i changed names.

Now I change my user name every few days.

God im name changing, it has been bugging me for a while thinking exactly this - how much cumulative information I have posted about myself.

Even though I haven't put anything I would be super worried about, it's still uncomfortable to think of someone recognising me.

Same, @CloudyVanilla. I’ve name changed for the first time this Christmas, and though I’ve put my new name on the Christmas name thread, I’ve not linked to my old name anywhere. I’ve been on here a very long time and over the years the amount of information I’ve divulged must add up to say pretty much everything about me.

Weirdly what makes me most uncomfortable are threads I started on here moaning about the DC when they were preteens and teens. They’re adults now and I’d hate them to find them and think I didn’t think the world of them. When your child is 8, you don’t imagine them coming on mumsnet as an adult. I didn’t even think it would be around all this time!

Surely OP can just name change? If it's out there elsewhere on social media it makes no difference if it is on here as well. The DM have probably already got what they want from the thread anyway. Once it's out, it's out and deleting a thread won't change it - OP will still need to name change.

Why are you drawing attention to it by starting a new thread when you could just email them? Lots more people will have looked at it now you've posted a brand new thread with a link!

@wildraisins at night MNHQ isn't fully staffed. You need to speak to nightwatch to get urgent intervention, and that's through this section of the forum.

Late night folk are well versed in seeking out the nightwatchers!

A wider discussion about name changing, keeping safe etc. would be interesting.

I know someone who for years had one username and was a well-recognised and respected poster in relationships. This must be about 8 or 10 years ago now. She name-changed when she went through her own relationship breakdown and didn't want her ex to know (as he was familiar with her name).
She was later banned immediately for being racist after using hyperbole to make a point about sexism. (Basically she took someone's post about how women are all bitches and don't make good friends or colleagues, and replaced references to women with references to people of colour. Her post was reported for racism and she got banned).

Someone I know asked me if I was old username and I obviously said no, sorry.

She then told me she’s read all my threads AND all my comments on others threads to compile my ‘story’ and prove it was me.
It creeped me the hell out she went through ten years worth of posts.
I now change names if I’m asking for specific advice or every month or so depending how active I’ve been.

@Furries

Do people really read a post, then try to find “stuff” on SM which then leads to asking about colour of laptop (repeatedly) which then leads to post being taken down as possibly outing?

I’m bloody gobsmacked that people would have a) the time and b) the inclination to go searching like that.

Best that post is taken down, but by god some people are nos6 and demanding of info!

They've done much worse. Look up doxing. I've known people get sacked from jobs because someone on the internet has taken the trouble to track someone down, even though they are posting under a pseudonym, and then report the posts to an employer. It's amazing how something that seems harmless can look to an employer when quoted out of context.

It's nasty stuff but yes, there are people out there who will track others down and wreck their lives, for no reason I can fathom.

Go to the "Active" tab, click the three horizontal lines icon at top-right and choose "My Mumsnet". Enter a new username and click save.

Make sure, if you post on multiple devices, that you log out of other devices and log back into them to complete the name change.

Surely OP can just name change? If it's out there elsewhere on social media it makes no difference if it is on here as well. The DM have probably already got what they want from the thread anyway. Once it's out, it's out and deleting a thread won't change it - OP will still need to name change.

The problem is the link with previous posts. Say I post as Jane1980 for a year and say things which reveal a lot about me but don't make me identifiable. I then start a thread as Jane1980 adding information which does make me identifiable and bingo, a troll can then find out who the real Jane is. They then tell Jane's employer that in 2017 Jane once whinged about a colleague, on the internet where everyone could see it. Even if it wasn't identifiable at the time, it can become identifiable later. Employers can be so fucking twitchy that people have been sacked for this.

So if you do trip up, it's better if something is deleted. Simply name-changing retrospectively will not do it.

Hello, thanks all for getting hold of nightwatch on this one and thanks again nightwatch for hiding that thread .

We hope you don't mind but we've closed this thread now. We don't want to delete it as it contains some good advice (thanks for that too!!) but neither do we want nightwatch to feel they have to wade through the conversation here, worried they might be missing something.

Hit report if you'd like us to look at anything else.