DDs keep arguing over the kitten and I am starting to regret getting it

[tess482]

We’ve had our kitten about 6 weeks now and I’m starting to wonder if getting her was a mistake.

DD1 is 12 and DD2 is 8 and they are constantly arguing over her. Who feeds her, who plays with her, who she sits with, whose room she should sleep in etc. I thought it would be something nice for them to share but it’s turned into a competition over who she likes best.

DD1 is very into animals and has been reading up on how to look after her properly. Which is good obviously but she has started correcting DD2 all the time and telling her she’s doing things wrong. DD2 gets upset and says her sister thinks the kitten belongs to her. I can see why she’s annoyed tbh as DD1 does tend to take over.

They’ve even started keeping score over who does more for her. DD1 says she’s the one who cleans the litter tray and remembers her food and water, DD2 says she plays with her more and gets all her toys out. If I tell them to take turns they argue about whether it’s fair.

Last night the kitten was sitting on DD2’s lap while we were watching telly and DD1 started saying she’d had her long enough and it was her turn. DD2 wouldn’t move her and then DD1 tried taking one of the kitten’s toys away which started a whole thing. I told them both to leave her alone for a bit and ended up keeping her downstairs rather than letting either of them take her to bed.

I know they’re only children and I don’t expect them to be perfect but it’s every single day now. The kitten is lovely and seems happy enough, she hasn’t been mistreated or anything, but half the time she just wanders off somewhere quiet while they’re arguing over her.

I’m a single mum and I honestly haven’t got the energy to referee this every evening. I have tried giving them separate jobs but now that’s another argument about who has the better jobs.

I’m starting to think maybe she’d be better off in a quieter home where she isn’t in the middle of all this. Feel awful even thinking about it as she’s only just settled in here and they both love her.

Would you give it more time or am I being daft considering rehoming her over sibling arguments? I don’t want to give up too easily but I can’t see this carrying on being fair on the kitten either.

So you need to take control now. You’ll prob need a schedule. Plan it out DD1 feeds kitten DD2 takes kitten to bed. Next day DD2 feeds kitten DD2 takes it to bed or whatever way you want it to work. Have it written out and on the kitchen fridge. Any nonsense and they don’t get the kitten. I know it sounds a lot of work but it will pay off. My two daughters (similar sge gap) used to fight over car seat positions. We made it turn about and no exceptions.

Get a second kitten if space allows! Although the girls might be annoyed that the kittens prefer each others company over theirs... 🤣
I'm sorry, this is a tough one!

I have a DD4 and a new kitten so I sympathise, it’s been very stressful at times monitoring interactions. We found a star chart worked very well. Would that work for your older girls? Set some easy and simple rules/instructions that they need to adhere to in order to get stars, that lead to a reward or treat

If they're anything like my Dds, the novelty will wear off in a few months as the kitten grows older.

Mine tolerate the cats now and have to be told to feed them, otherwise DH and I do the vast majority of care. As a result, the cats are far more likely to come and sit on us than the children, though they'll often be in their rooms during the day. We close doors at night and have no cats in bedrooms as better for everyone's sleep.

When they are behaving like this, step in earlier, remove the kitten from both of them. Nip it in the bud for the sake of everyone and the kitten.

The novelty of her will probably wear off after a while also, still early days.

Yes, I doubt they will be fighting over the chance to clean the litter tray for much longer 😄

They are both treating an animal, a sentient being, as a possession/toy.

That is absolutely not fair on the cat, who will have her own likes, dislikes and agenda. What they are doing is only going to cause stress for the animal, and they need to be told to pack it in.

I would get the kitten a bed and it doesn’t go to sleep in peoples rooms. The novelty wilL wear off and you’ll be stuck with all of the jobs soon op. Anyone arguing over the kitten leaves the room.

I'd get another one!

Step in, sit them down and tell them in no uncertain terms that their bickering is upsetting the kitten. The kitten will choose where and with whom it wants to sit. You can't force these things.

If they can't share, the kitten will probably be better off in a more quiet home. If you don't want to re home, kitten has to be yours and sleep in your bedroom!

My older DD were the same with the new puppy. They stopped fighting over her when she became older, less adorable and the awe factor of having a puppy wore off. They still love her to bits but never fight over her. Maybe wait a week or two and see if it improves?

Kitten tax hasn’t been paid…🤨

I would think the 12 year old should be mature enough to understand that moving a sleeping kitten off of an 8 year old's lap is not a nice thing to do. I would be taking her aside and speaking to her about the possible consequences of the constant arguing.

They both need to understand that the kitten isn't a toy, it is a living being with it's own opinions on where it wants to sleep, sit and play.

Alternating days maybe?

Get another kitten

Perfect response. You got a kitten, now it’s your job to sort out the squabbles it causes. You don’t get to opt out of this any more than you get to opt out of any other aspect of parenting.

No, it’s not a toy, it’s a living creature with its own wants and needs

You should have got 2 kittens. For your kid's sake and the cats.

Seriously OP get another kitten. We did and they play together and keep each other occupied.

Two kittens are awesome and endlessly entertaining and they have each other.