New cat stress

[preggogreggo]

. I have had lots of cats growing up and as an adult -kittens and older cats and would say I'm pretty experienced with having them. Anyway we adopted a 6 month old male kitten around 2 months ago, and they told me that I might want to get him a friend as he got on so well with the cats in foster. He's a gorgeous little thing and he's fitted right in - we love him! So, fast forward to 3 weeks ago, we adopted a sweet 1 year old girl. Her ad said she was good with kids, a little shy to start and needed to be with a friendly cat. We picked her up and she just hid for the first 3 days, wasn't using litter etc, so the rescue suggested we move her to a smaller room which we did. She's now in the ensuite shower room where she seems a bit more settled but is still terrified of any sound, even cars passing outside. She hates the sound of my daughter running about and my husbands deeper voice. We did a steady intro with the cats - eating on opposite sides of the door, scent swapping and all was going well. The rescue suggested they meet as if might help her confidence. We did a couple of supervised short visits that went ok (he wanted to play but she wasnt interested but not scared or hissing etc), they even ate their meals together as a way of bonding. However, the last couple of times, he's basically been trying to mount her and going crazy - not aggressive but jumping on her back and nipping her neck. We obviously got him out asap and won't be trying it again. She didn't seem to traumatised by it and ate some treats. She just doesn't seem happy unless it's just 1:1 time in the shower room, she still won't come into the bedroom. Our other cat is also going craY at the door and we have to lock him away otherwise he's outside yowling - he's really unsettled. It's.so stressful and I feel awful for her and wish we hadn't adopted her. Its affecting my day to day with the stress and I'm not sleeping plus I'm pregnant. Is there anything I can do to help our young cat settle with her? I'm just not sure we are the right home.sjes such a sweetie, and when in the right mood will let me touch her little toe beans and rolls about showing her belly.
To add, she's come from a cat hoarding situation so I feel like maybe she needs a quiet home and not one with a family and another, boisterous cat!

Are they both neutered?

Yes! Both neutered.

It’s still early days. Slightly different but we have my MIL’s ten-year-old cat with us on a temp to permanent basis (she’s sold her house but doesn’t get entry to her new place she’s bought for a while and is in temporary accommodation) and our own three-year-old cat. We’re on the third week now.

We got Feliway diffusers before he arrived, and kept him shut in the spare room for just over a week - he’s a nervous cat anyway but was really growly and hissy. The timing was awful as our cat unexpectedly needed a dental with two canine extractions, so had to be kept in for a fortnight, and he was DESPERATE to get in that door! After a week when we could let Louie (our cat) out, we started to let the spare room door open as long as there was someone home. There’s been a lot of hissing and howling, but no actual scrapping. Angus (MIL’s cat) clearly sees the spare room as “his” space and the only encounter that had potential to turn physical was actually when I’d shut that door to stop Louie going in and eating his food, and he couldn’t get back to safety.

Things I think have helped here have been the plug-ins, and grooming them both (separately) with the same brush. It’s just time and patience I think. I can’t see Angus ever being Louie’s best pal - but I think Louie would like him to be - but I think we will be able to coexist okay as long as Angus has his safe place and we don’t have guests who need to sleep in there with him, his food/water, and litter tray!

Pic to show Louie inspecting Angus.