Older cat hissing at new kitten after three weeks at home

[AmusedLemonFatball]

it’s been such a stressful 3 weeks since we bought our new boy home.

our older girl who is 18 months can’t stand him lately. We did the whole slow introduction, separate rooms etc. Boy still sleeps in dd18 room every night but girl cat still hisses at him and swipes at him if he plays too close to her. They were getting on well, playing lots etc but I don’t know if the heatwave has cause a set back?

she has even started hissing at us, she’s started going out more but when she’s in and looking outside it’s like she gets frustrated and takes it out on him and us. It’s breaking my heart.

v bought a feliway and it’s been plugged in for a few days so I’m hoping it will
work soon.

I feel sorry for him, he wants to play and she can’t stand him 😩

pics of the new boy but also proof they liked each other at one point..

I would give it time. I had an older dominant female cat once and introduced a kitten ( knowing there was no way should accept an adult). She was very hostile including hissing for at least 6 weeks- I remember thinking ‘ what have we done?’. It did settle and they came to an arrangement and had half a house each which was the arrangement that suited everyone.
adult + kitten does tend to be a safer way of introduction.
I would make sure the kitten is entertained as they can be annoying to an adult cats. Always feed them apart.
Don’t force the contact, let them approach each other on their own terms.
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I’m with others about giving it time. My mum went through a phase of bringing a new kitten home every 18 months and there was always a relatively prolonged settling in time. But after a while (6 months) they may not have been best friends, but would sit next to each other whilst eating, in front of the fire, or either ends of a sofa. We ended up with 6 cats in my childhood home in the end, although it was a big house with a large garden and you never really noticed them. They all rubbed along fine and all made it till they were nearly 20.

I also introduced a dog into our home when we had our late cat, he had the hump for about 6 months, and then grew to love the dog. Use to go and find the dog and cuddle up in bed with him which was surprising. So a 6 month sulk in cats is quite normal in my experience, then they get over it.

We're 2 years into this (I posted on here at the time) and I can honestly say they still all loathe each other. Elders are both teenagers plus a 2.5yo nutter of a youngster. I have spent a fortune on Feliway too. The elders (mum and her male offspring) don't like each other much either so they're just antisocial little furballs.

Completely normal.

Give it time, don't force contact and they will learn to at least tolerate each others.

3 weeks is still short, give it 3 months.
We introduced 2 kittens to an older cat and they’ll sleep on the same bed occasionally, they’ll eat together every day but older cat still hisses at them to get them off his favourite spots out just out of his way 🤣

We are four years into it and they still tolerate each other just 😂

That’s the thing with cats. All ours still lived completely separately within the house apart from two that were siblings. They’re independent souls.

She .might change her mind in time, a lot of cats don't like kittens, it's like putting a 30+ year old with a 2 year old toddler who won't leave them alone.

It's also personality dependent. I have 2 neutered males aged 12 and 14. The 14 year old took to the kittens instantly and was mothering them, loved playing with them, still does now ( 2 years now ) The 12 year old detested the kittens, hid away, slapped them. He doesn't mind them now their older and will sleep with them, groom them, but he hated them when they were tiny kittens

I thought you weren’t supposed to bring a new kitten into an existing cat’s territory. Our cat would kill a new kitten!