Struggling with grief after losing our much loved cat so suddenly

[MumofMaskers]

I don't usually post here but thought I would find fellow cat lovers who understand. Yesterday our beautiful girl was hit by a car and killed - I'm absolutely in pieces.

As much as it was very traumatic the vet said it would have been very quick but that's of little comfort. She didn't usually venture far and near the busier road and having all the guilt, wondering if she was confused in the heat and got disoriented.

She was so lovely, and kind and gentle. A proper softy lap cat, always there to greet us and talk to us. My daughter was particularly attached to her. She seems to be coping well but I know grief isn't always linear in young children.

I am trying to keep it together but this feels like a cruel blow after a particularly difficult year. The shock of having to deal with the aftermath outside in the heat took its toll and I haven't been able to really eat or sleep and been sick several times. I had no idea the reaction could be this physical.

Here's a picture of our lovely girl. She was just the best and we were so lucky to have her.

She was so beautiful, and you can tell she was lovely and sweet by looking at her. I bet she had a lovely life with you. I’m so sorry, it hurts so much when we lose them, but the joy they bring is worth the pain we feel at their loss

I am so sorry for your loss. Three of my kitties have died in the last 2 years and I still am grieving. They are part of your life and part of your heart. It is devastating and I truly feel your pain xx

My little girl cat was PTS a month ago after a short illness . She was so attached to me and I loved her so much so I understand your grief .I am so sorry .

Oh I am sorry. We lost our youngest cat to the road earlier this year too

Thank you all for your lovely comments. She was so gentle and loving and gorgeous, the vets always had a soft spot for her because she was so lovely (I'm sure they do for all of their clients, but they always made a fuss of her!)

The house just seems so strange and empty. Every moment of the day was attached to some kind of routine with her, knowing where she'd be even if it was under my feet begging for food in the kitchen, or waking up and finding her on my chest. She was a total lap cat. Would give anything for one last cuddle.

So sorry for your loss When my cat died it was just the worst feeling, I was distraught for days. Someone on here mentioned a book called soul comfort for cat lovers. It’s £9.59 on Amazon It’s only about 100 pages long but it’s a beautiful book and genuinely really helped me. I very much recommend it to you. Losing a loved pet is truly awful. Take care x

Oh I am so sorry. My current cat sounds like yours: an affectionate softy who’s particularly attached to me. It would be so terrible if anything happened to her. I’m so sorry for your loss x

OP it’s tough… she came to you for a reason

She really did. I got her as a 30th birthday present from my husband. She was the only one left in a litter of 3 and I couldn't believe she hadn't been snapped up. We went to see her, I sat on the floor and she immediately climbed on me and started purring. I had just been coming out of a period of depression and she was so healing, and she was again many times over the years. I can't say that out loud to many people.

So very sorry for your loss, she is very beautiful.

So sorry for your loss OP. What a stunning cat. It's incredibly cruel how she was taken from you. She obviously chose you. Cats do understand our feelings and provide so much that humans can't or don't and I'm sure she felt the same way. Lucky girl to have no hardship in her life and caring owners. Take each day, each hour as it comes, don't look ahead. And don't expect non cat lovers to understand. They couldn't. But we do xx

So so sorry @MumofMaskersit is devastating to lose a much loved cat and it sounds like you and your beloved had a very special bond. At least you had that time together and she knew she was loved. ❤️💔

I’m so sorry what a lovely puss. 💕💐

How awful for you

Thank you everyone. Your replies are bringing me a lot of comfort so thank you. It's my birthday this weekend and people are sending me messages to say how sorry they are about my cat, and how am I celebrating my birthday? I don't get people sometimes. I know it was well intended, but... the idea of celebrating anything right now feels impossible.

Happy Birthday @MumofMaskers - I’ve just posted a thread on here, I lost my 1 year old lovely boy yesterday and I’m totally bereft as are DH and the kids. We only had him a relatively short time but he was so loved - I know how you feel and it’s just soul destroying. But we loved them and I think they knew that and were happy and in time it will feel easier, I hope. It’s still so raw isn’t it

@Poppytime thank you so much - it's been a strange day but have had some nice times with the kids and got out of the house which was needed. I am so sorry to hear of your loss too, you must be distraught, 1 year old is just a baby. That reminds me to be grateful of the years I got to have with my cat. You're right - it will get easier in time, it will just take time. Sending you love x

So sorry you have lost your gorgeous girl. She obviously loved you, and you loved her. She looks beautiful. It will get easier to bear but having lost one or two of our own over the years, I totally understand how devastated you are right now. 💐

Sorry for your loss. I have been through something similar when my lovely cat died suddenly last week. I feel like part of me died with him, which sounds ridiculous but cats really are part of the family. Being taken too soon feels especially cruel.
i hope you can find peace in the happy times and special bond you shared together

I am so sorry for your loss, it is heartbreaking losing a loved pet, your cat looks so beautiful I feel your pain. I lost my Scully in March and I still miss her now so know exactly what you're going through.

I am so sorry OP.
My last cat was killed on the road. He was healthy and although not young he wasn’t elderly either, in that lovely middle stretch of a cat’s life. It is a really traumatic way to lose a pet, a sudden death is particularly hard as it’s such a shock, I have pined for many different pets but I think losing a pet in their old age, when you can see it coming, is less shocking even though the missing them feeling is the same.
With my cat I was absolutely distraught, I woke up in the night in a panic with a very bad feeling, so DH went to look for him and found him on the road. He never ventured outside our gate as the road was really busy, and I went a bit crazy trying to find out what had happened. I left a note on my gate asking if anyone had seen anything, and a child sweetly left a reply that they had seen him near the gate. Most likely thing is that he bolted due to a firework, it was a week before bonfire night and teens had been letting off fireworks.
We still miss him, we didn’t want to risk another cat there, and moved somewhere that although much quieter still has a road in front, so we have been catless ever since .
It is so hard to lose your loved companion. Maybe plant a small shrub or a rose, something that flowers around her birthday or the month you first had her, and then each year there will be a happy reminder of how pretty she was.

Thank you everybody, it's comforting to read your posts, and know that everyone here gets it. It's been a week today and the first day I've been feeling a little better. This morning I felt the pain surfacing at the time it happened last week, so I lit a candle next to her photo and oddly have felt a bit better since. Small rituals can be comforting I guess.

@Koolkatz I commented on your thread earlier, as I could really relate to how you are feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know there's lots of perspectives on there and different views on how people experience grief but I totally understand what you mean about losing a piece of yourself with them. I'm sure it will gradually ease, be kind to yourself.