Older cat seems unhappy since new kitten arrived, any advice?

[AmusedLemonFatball]

Looking for some advice regarding our older girl

We bought a male kitten home 3 weeks ago and introduced slowly etc.

Older cat (18monthd) just hasn’t really taken to him. She looks so miserable all the time and I think she looks like she’s lost weight 😞 she won’t come
To me for snuggles anymore 😞

I’m so anxious about it. They don’t fight and she doesn’t hiss etc but she just
Doesn’t seem happy. What can I do? Iv tried making things good, more treats, toys etc

Isn't this the risk when you introduce new cats to established cats? Hard to know what to advise because it depends on their individual personalities. I know if I introduced a newcomer to my male cat he would be 'the more the merrier', but my female cat would never forgive me and would probably move out.

Does she have a quiet place she can go without the kitten being able to follow her? I'd keep them separated for a week longer to help her get comfortable with his smell around the house. Plug-ins, plenty of cuddles and fuss, treats when she sees him.

All of my animals get a cob on when new ones come in. Then when one of them goes very sad and depressed until the cycle starts again 😊

That's early days in my book. Give them a bit longer and make sure older cat can get away if necessary.

It’s very early days still. Give it more time.

Thank you,

irs been so stressful. She just hisses at him when he’s doing nothing. Or yells at him if he gets too close. I thought they would love each other :(

Cat's quite often are solitary animals. Is your older cat able to go out? That actually helps if they're in control of their actions and can go out and get away. Other than that, nice high places that a young kitten cannot get to are a must.

Let's hope in time, they will be ok.

Why on earth would you think they would love each other?

Don't you know anything about cats at all?

Cats, unlike dogs, are solitary animals, and unless in family groups, and often then, prefer to be alone and have their own territory. I would never introduce a new cat where there was an existing one in the household.

Keep them apart as much as you can. You may find in time she has a grudging acceptance of him, but don't expect them to be "friends".

Actually, cats aren't all that solitary. If left to their own devices, they tend to form colonies and will actively choose to spend time together and share resources. Female cats in particular will group together and even raise each others' offspring.

The issue with domestic cats is that most houses are not big enough for multiple cats, especially if there's no access to the outdoors, and that's where tension arises and cats don't get on.

Cats are not solitary animals. Feral cats live in colonies and many cats develop deep bonds.
OP I’ve had cats all my life and some have been best friends while others have just sort of coexisted. The two I have now (female 6 months older than male, both since kittens, now age 6) are extremely bonded. They sleep cuddled up together, groom each other and the boy cat meows for girl cat if she’s not in sight. So it’s perfectly reasonable that you expect them to be friends. I would give it a bit longer. Years ago I had a similar situation with a cat and a kitten and we came home
one day to find them sitting side by side on the window ledge waiting for us. It was fine after that! Cats are weirdos.

OP you've said she doesn't hiss and then said she hisses at him! I don't know much about cats but I would imagine there's always a transition period while they get used to each other? I would try and keep them apart as much as you can and make sure your older cat has space to retreat to, and just give it more time

Some cats prefer being an older cat and some cats are quite social. I have 3 rescues, one hates being with other cats as he's quite a timid chap so in the end I've given him to live with my sibling so he can be an only cat.
One of my other rescues loves other cats and really wants to be bff with my 3rd rescue who basically tolerates him but doesn't like him that much. They are fine with each other and sleep on the same sofa but they are both fairly tolerant cats.

All you can do is keep introducing them slowly. Make sure older cat has a place to be that the kitten doesn't go. Then bring the kitten to the other side of the door and have one person each side of the door giving them both a treat. Keep treating the older cat so that she starts associating the kitten with treats. Put in a feliway friends diffuser. It will take time

Cats are solitary animals by nature but of course, there will be more cats happier to live side-by-side. But they do form bonds, esp in colonies, but that I should imagine is about survival rather than just a choice. I've known a brother and sister cat, hated the sight of each other.

My last cat was from a multi-cat household. He was the first. He'd occasionally snuggle up with one cat or another but he'd more likely be found attacking them. We took him on aged 5 and he was the only cat here with us. He thrived, chilled, behavioural problems gone, plus we gave him the ability to roam, something he yearned for. Totally happy and content cat.

OP, there is no promise these cats will become friends. You need lots of hiding and high spots, litter trays, separate bowls etc. Don't give them any reason to have more competition and allow space to get away from each other. Hopefully, even if not friends, they will tolerate each other.