Struggling after having my cat put to sleep this morning

[PinkPanda99]

I had to have my beautiful cat PTS this morning. She had what looked to be cancer that had already spread, but given she was 16, already weak and the advanced nature of it, we decided with the vet that it wasn’t fair to pursue further treatment. She was OK for a couple of weeks but yesterday went downhill so we made the decision to PTS.

i’m devastated, I’ve had her since she was a kitten, and I can’t stop crying. It’s hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. I stayed up with her most of the night and got 3 hours sleep so I’m shattered but I can’t sleep. I can’t believe she’s not here anymore, and I feel guilty. I think my husband is fed up with me crying!

i’m not sure if this is normal reaction, I also have mental health issues so not sure if this is pushing me over the edge.

Oh sweetheart , it's totally normal. It's not been a whole day yet and you lost a friend of many years. You did the right thing for her. Grief is the price we pay for love, sadly. Take care of yourself.

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. It sounds like I’m being too hard on myself. I just keep thinking I wish she was here and I could give her a cuddle and tickle her tummy. The kids seem to be dealing with it really well, better than I am, but perhaps it hasn’t hit them yet.

I think you are being a bit hard on yourself. It's ok to feel how you feel. I can't imagine how I'd feel when my two need to go but I'm sure I'll be a mess, and that's OK too. It's a long term relationship, and grief is entirely normal, expected, and natural. They leave a hole in our heart.

@PinkPanda99 Sorry for your family's loss.

Oh no, I’m so sorry. It’s awful when they go isn’t it? Take comfort in that she had a long and happy life with you x

I'm so sorry. You've lost a very special companion. 💟

It's awful OP but letting them go is an act of love. Without the love there is no grief. The sadness is really pretty normal.

I’m so sorry. I know how hard it is. I had to put down my beautiful silver point tabby last year and it was devastating. Meanwhile my daughter lost his sister and couldn’t go to work for days she was so distraught. It is ok to grieve. Cats are such individuals and that’s why we love them so much. I now have two sisters how are utterly barking (or even mewing) bonkers, but I still love them.

What you’re experiencing is totally normal. Be nice to yourself. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.

Thank you for the replies, it means a lot. I ended up with a bad migraine yesterday and pretty much slept from 4pm - 8:30 am, but now I do feel a bit better.

Glad to hear you feel a bit better. Take it easy on yourself.

Op, be kind to yourself. You gave puss the best life possible, a life of love and care. I was in your shoes 3 years ago my boy was pts on my knee. That is absolutely the best death they can have. In time you will be able to remember and smile. The other day a video popped up in my iPad and it was my old boy playing only days before finally illness, made me so happy. You never forget them and your heart will have a cat shaped hole in it until you are in a place to love another.
Big hug op and hope the love and kindness you will find on here from cat Mums helps, I found it a great solace from the people who have also been through it.
Your cat won life’s lottery being with you from start to end, be proud you could give that and be loved in return

Thank you, your comment about her having won life’s lottery really made me tear up (in a good way) because she was from a rescue centre, her mum was a stray who was found with a litter of kittens. When we first rehomed her and her sister, they had never lived in a house before, never had much contact with people before and were very, very timid. She was completely different to that once she got used to us. I’m so glad we were able to give her the life we did.

i’m sorry to hear about your boy, but so glad you’re now able to look back on memories with him the way you are now.

So sorry, OP - it’s the absolute worst. We had our darling girl pts with cancer in 2024, and it was so sad. She was only ten and I felt like we’d been robbed of time with her. Now I am so glad that we were able to give her a lovely, lovely life, and also that we were strong enough to let her go with grace even though it broke our hearts.

We have a little boy cat now who we adopted very quickly afterwards. He’d been a stray kitten and needed a home and people to love him. Now he lives like an orange king. I’m sure she sent me him to dry my tears on.

I am so sorry for your loss and sadness OP. How could it not hurt, when you have cared for your Kitty daily for so long?

You gave her the best life you could and cared for her right to the end. That is loving guardianship.

FWIW, our girl has either cat IBS or intestinal cancer, and we are not doing further investigation as we have decided not to do chemo on an older cat. We are keeping her comfortable, hoping for the best and enjoying what time is left. Sometimes the enhanced medical route is just not suitable.