Struggling after having my cat put to sleep this morning

[PinkPanda99]

I had to have my beautiful cat PTS this morning. She had what looked to be cancer that had already spread, but given she was 16, already weak and the advanced nature of it, we decided with the vet that it wasn’t fair to pursue further treatment. She was OK for a couple of weeks but yesterday went downhill so we made the decision to PTS.

i’m devastated, I’ve had her since she was a kitten, and I can’t stop crying. It’s hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. I stayed up with her most of the night and got 3 hours sleep so I’m shattered but I can’t sleep. I can’t believe she’s not here anymore, and I feel guilty. I think my husband is fed up with me crying!

i’m not sure if this is normal reaction, I also have mental health issues so not sure if this is pushing me over the edge.

Oh sweetheart , it's totally normal. It's not been a whole day yet and you lost a friend of many years. You did the right thing for her. Grief is the price we pay for love, sadly. Take care of yourself.

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. It sounds like I’m being too hard on myself. I just keep thinking I wish she was here and I could give her a cuddle and tickle her tummy. The kids seem to be dealing with it really well, better than I am, but perhaps it hasn’t hit them yet.

I think you are being a bit hard on yourself. It's ok to feel how you feel. I can't imagine how I'd feel when my two need to go but I'm sure I'll be a mess, and that's OK too. It's a long term relationship, and grief is entirely normal, expected, and natural. They leave a hole in our heart.

@PinkPanda99 Sorry for your family's loss.

Oh no, I’m so sorry. It’s awful when they go isn’t it? Take comfort in that she had a long and happy life with you x

I'm so sorry. You've lost a very special companion. 💟

It's awful OP but letting them go is an act of love. Without the love there is no grief. The sadness is really pretty normal.

I’m so sorry. I know how hard it is. I had to put down my beautiful silver point tabby last year and it was devastating. Meanwhile my daughter lost his sister and couldn’t go to work for days she was so distraught. It is ok to grieve. Cats are such individuals and that’s why we love them so much. I now have two sisters how are utterly barking (or even mewing) bonkers, but I still love them.

What you’re experiencing is totally normal. Be nice to yourself. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.

Thank you for the replies, it means a lot. I ended up with a bad migraine yesterday and pretty much slept from 4pm - 8:30 am, but now I do feel a bit better.

Glad to hear you feel a bit better. Take it easy on yourself.

Op, be kind to yourself. You gave puss the best life possible, a life of love and care. I was in your shoes 3 years ago my boy was pts on my knee. That is absolutely the best death they can have. In time you will be able to remember and smile. The other day a video popped up in my iPad and it was my old boy playing only days before finally illness, made me so happy. You never forget them and your heart will have a cat shaped hole in it until you are in a place to love another.
Big hug op and hope the love and kindness you will find on here from cat Mums helps, I found it a great solace from the people who have also been through it.
Your cat won life’s lottery being with you from start to end, be proud you could give that and be loved in return

Thank you, your comment about her having won life’s lottery really made me tear up (in a good way) because she was from a rescue centre, her mum was a stray who was found with a litter of kittens. When we first rehomed her and her sister, they had never lived in a house before, never had much contact with people before and were very, very timid. She was completely different to that once she got used to us. I’m so glad we were able to give her the life we did.

i’m sorry to hear about your boy, but so glad you’re now able to look back on memories with him the way you are now.

So sorry, OP - it’s the absolute worst. We had our darling girl pts with cancer in 2024, and it was so sad. She was only ten and I felt like we’d been robbed of time with her. Now I am so glad that we were able to give her a lovely, lovely life, and also that we were strong enough to let her go with grace even though it broke our hearts.

We have a little boy cat now who we adopted very quickly afterwards. He’d been a stray kitten and needed a home and people to love him. Now he lives like an orange king. I’m sure she sent me him to dry my tears on.

I am so sorry for your loss and sadness OP. How could it not hurt, when you have cared for your Kitty daily for so long?

You gave her the best life you could and cared for her right to the end. That is loving guardianship.

FWIW, our girl has either cat IBS or intestinal cancer, and we are not doing further investigation as we have decided not to do chemo on an older cat. We are keeping her comfortable, hoping for the best and enjoying what time is left. Sometimes the enhanced medical route is just not suitable.

I’m so very sorry for your loss. We put our darling British Blue Poppy to sleep 2 days ago aged 15, and the grief has hit me like a train. A life absolutely filled with love, but as others have said, grief is the price we pay for such deep and enduring love xx

I’m so sorry for your loss. She really did win the lottery didn’t she? Of all the cats world over, she was brought to you, and knew nothing but love until the end of her days. How wonderful it must be, to be a loved cat and to have that care, security and ‘parental’ human figure right into old age and to the very end. What a great thing that is.
I know it hurts, it hurts so much, like a hole in the chest. 💐 it will get better with time, but be gentle with yourself now x

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, it’s so tough, but you’re absolutely right xx

I'm so sorry, its awful to lose them. I just keep reminding myself that my little hamsters lucked out with me. I had most of them from babies.

They never knew hunger or fear of predators. Always had warm comfy beds, fresh water and full food bowls. Never went a day without a tasty treat and knew how to bang against the bars to summon a human if they knocked their wheel over or their bottle didn't work.

When they were elderly and infirm, I made their cages accessible with underfloor heating and broke their food up tiny and gave them baby food when they could no longer eat their regular food. When their health declined too much, I put them to sleep.

We have to remember the value of a full, happy life with a loving family, followed by a peaceful death. They had everything that everyone wants. Your lovely little cat had everything.

Getting on the grief train with you. Had to have my little darling PTS on Wednesday. I'm devastated but trying to comfort myself that it was the right decision for her. Sending you hugs.

We lost our 16 year old cat this time last year and I was devastated. I hadn’t expected to feel that way and I still miss her so much. My children had grown up with her and her presence and the stability of her being around was shaken and I found it hard to deal with. She wasn’t a cuddly cat at all. I’m still grieving but it’s definitely easier.

Also meant to add that I’m really sorry for your loss.
It does get easier.

So sorry @PinkPanda99I had to have my old boy PTS 3 weeks ago. He was nearly 19 and I'd had him for 16 years. I felt the same as you initially. I'd think I heard his paws on the laminate, or think I'd have to leave the bedroom door open for him. It's gradually getting easier.

We picked up his ashes this week so tomorrow I'm going to plant my summer pots and put a wee bit in each one then scatter the rest on the bit of ground hs liked to play on.