Cats just started going out and one doesn’t want to come home

[bobofthelobs]

Hi, we have two sisters that we have had since they were kittens. Due to skin problems, the vet has said they weren’t allowed out unsupervised till now (they have just turned 1).

On vet’s advice, they have been out in the garden on harnesses until now. We have got them trackers and they have been out three times by themselves.

One happily comes home when called but her sister thinks it a game to remove her tracker and stay out as long as possible. Last night it took 4 of us to get her in as it was getting dark. We’ve never tried everything like calling her, snacks, bell, dinner, knocking a tin and I’m sure she was laughing at us!

We’ve never had cats before so are probably being far too anxious but it’s so stressful trying to get her in especially when she takes the tracker off.

Any advice gratefully received

This is very normal cat behaviour. My friend has two cats. One always stays in, the other is permanently out. A neighbour was feeding them, and continued to despite being asked not to. Do you have a cat flap so you don’t have to call them in every night?

do you often try and catch them in the house - eg to take them to vets? One of mine is paranoid and finally twigged why we give her snacks 😂 so anytime you go up to her she thinks You are going to catch her and she hides.

We have just started letting our year old kittens out this week - delayed because of winter and the fact that one is a little dumb and doesn’t come to her name. At the moment she’s ventured into next doors garden but come back and she’s really easy to catch. The one that’s hides is a scaredy cat so has barely left the house yet.

That's just cats. You can't make them do anything.

Our current cat was born feral so we were advised to keep her in for longer than usual. After being cautious for her first week outside, she disappeared for 2 days. She's currently asleep on my lap.

And we've not used collars since our previous cat showed how good she was at getting them off.

Have you tried letting her out an hour before feeding time so that she’s motivated to come back because she’s hungry?

This is what cats do. They do tend to come home again when hungry.

Thanks for the reassurance. This is harder than when my teenagers started going out!

They have lots of medication since we got them (they were feral rescue kittens) so are probably fed up of being caught for medicine time.

We don’t have a cat flap which is probably making it more stressful.

Think we just need to relax but I get so worried when they are out

Can you get a cat flap? It would make things much easier.

I’ve just been googling cat flaps! I think it would make this a lot less stressful. I saw some with a curfew mode - are these worth getting?

We have a cat flap that can be set to open or closed. It’s open all day and then we lock it when we go up to bed about 10.30. This means that if they’re outside they can get back in but once in, can’t get back out again. They’re both quite nosy at bedtime when we go up as we check the food situation then and add a few more biscuits. If they’re outside they come in at that time they also get a treat as added incentive! They’re generally in within an hour of the cat flap being shut.

I think the advice is to let them out hungry, so they come back for food. I did this and it does seem to work. I also got into the habit of calling them with treats and it does train them to hear the door open and come running.

Some cats just like being out. Our girl cat stays home, our boy cat likes the outdoors. In the summer we hardly see him!

So today he has the vets. The cat flap is set to in only, and he has only been fed small amounts to make sure he comes home, which he has done.

We also invested in automatic cat feeders. If we can see he has eaten, then we don't worry as much.

With cats, you can only do so much and you have to learn to slightly let go.

Use a treat they only get when they come in and at no other time. Something really high value like roast chicken

It’s called selective hearing, cats are masters of this, they’ve taught my dog this too when she spits a squirrel 🐿️ the hearing switch goes to off and she’s a pest!
also don’t forget you’re their staff or slaves depending on their level of their own self importance, so you don’t call the shots … I love cats, always had them, and they rule the roost! 😉

Honestly, this is totally normal cat behaviour. My previous two cats were rescued feral kittens and boy they were a handful, especially the male who was an avid hunter 😁. He would sometimes go missing for days/weeks at a time and then return looking like he'd slept in a hedge with bits of fur missing etc and bring his hunting 'trophies ' home with him. The female cat was totally the opposite, preferring to stay nearer home.
I had a cat flap so they could come and go as they pleased which helped.

I got one but it’s pointless as both cats won’t use the flap so we have it taped open during the day 😑

It is just typical cat behaviour. Letting them out a bit before food is a good idea. Mine stay out much longer in the nice weather. I remember the first summer one of mine one of mine had his tea, went out and didn't reappear until breakfast - that was a sleepless night!

I agree with getting a cat flap it makes it so much easier.

I totally get how stressful it can be but it’s totally standard cat behaviour - one of mine is old now and always comes back when called (not that he goes far) but our younger one goes all over and I’ve spotted him in totally random spots before!

He always comes back eventually but unless he’s hungry or very nearby it will be on his terms, not mine!

This weather also means they’re out for much longer as well, I barely see him in the summer as there’s so much to do!

We had a cat flap you could set to open, closed, in only or out only. We set it to in only when it started to get dark and cat would come in in his own sweet time, but then be safe inside the house. Worked really well.

Get a cat flap , put it on In Only late evening and leave your feline friends in the lap of the gods. You will stress them more and more by trying to control their behaviour more than that. I don't recommend electric catflaps with special settings unless you are able to keep checking them manually. They go wrong and can lock the cats in or out for long periods.

We've got one of those- in the end we ended up turning the curfew off, otherwise our cat would wake us at 5am to be let out again. I didn't matter what time we set the cat flap to unlock for, he would just assume it was locked until we got up and went to the door! I wish those cat flaps made a sound when they unlocked- cats are smart cookies, and if it made a sound they'd soon work it out what it meant! Even with the curfew switched off our cat will still usually come in around half midnight-ish, then go out again at dawn (we have a smart cat flap so we can track his comings and goings.)
The smart cat flaps are reassuring as the app on your phone 'meows' at you when they come back in, so you know they're safely indoors.

Cats are buggers. Sometimes mine will stay out for hours, other times she’s home. Agree with pp about either not feeding them until when they’re due in. Cat flaps are a good idea. I recently installed one with a camera (it’s locked at night) which means my cat can come and go as she pleases, I got a part time job recently so it’s good she doesn’t have to be shut in or wait for me to open French window as she did have to do previously. Also, your cat right now is exploring the neighbourhood, sussing out threats (the dog a few doors down), finding the best hunting grounds, a nice patch of grass to sunbathe/sleep in. Anything that’s of interest (neighbours pond) she’ll be interested. Shows a lively interested cat. Nothing wrong with the other cat who’s not as interested. My cat goes into the neighbours gardens to eat grass, hunt mice but rarely interacts with the humans there.

My cat also is nervous of children.

Exactly, so much fun in summer, nicer weather, heat and more things to do (hunt). A female will definitely be interested in hunting, feral even more so.