Advice on helping a newly adopted cat stop scratching my son

[teaandkittens123]

Hi, I’m looking for any advice I might not have thought of please. We adopted a 7 yr old cat 3-4 weeks ago. She’s generally quite skittish and we’ve all been taking it very slow with her and only very light petting very much on her terms, but she has taken against ds13. He is quite scared of her as she’s scratched his foot when he walked past and today while sitting next to her on the sofa, moved to roll his shoulder back to stretch and she grabbed around his arm, scratching it. I’m not sure what else to do, we have him feed her so she’s associating him with nice things, plays with a toy with her, apart from that leaves her alone (too scared to think about stroking her). I don’t want either of them scared of each other, but really don’t want him hurt again. Any advice? It’s not out first cat but the others have all been much more laid back. Described by the shelter as loving a fuss, but def not by us yet!

Our rescue cat has been with us for 8 years and she’s still an unknown quantity with any sudden movements near her. She had a rough life before coming to us so we put her skittishness down to that.

We make sure that we don’t walk quickly around her or close to her and always let her instigate petting. Also found that using Feliway spray helped calm her down in the first few months of adoption as did giving her loads of small places to nap (boxes and bags all over the place).

Our DS got a few good scratches as a young child moving around the house but they’re completely besotted with each other…although he’s still wary about walking past her!

3-4 weeks is no time at all. Your son needs to basically ignore the cat until she settles in and she will make her own decisions about him in time. I know you said she is scratching him out of nowhere, but that is just life with a new cat, especially one that is rescued and you have no idea of what may have happened in her past. She is the one in a strange place with strange people, smells, sights, sounds... everything. Of course it is scary!

The other thing I'd do in collaboration with the ignoring is announce himself by talking to the room as he enters and moves through it so she's never surprised by him. He can also try placing some treats (or her food) in her eye line, then walking right away to let her come out at her own pace, so she starts associating him with yummy delicacies.

Get him to hand feed her lickilix or dreamies, hand feeding really helps with bonding. And basically ignore her, my rescue took 6 months to come round and has been a velcro cat ever since.
Maybe have a look at some cat body language videos together, there are usually signs they are aroused/likely to lash out.

Thank you, he has been giving her treats as well as putting her food down in the morning. I don’t think he’s ever tried to stroke her and I think she might be feeling some of his fear. Watching it, it seems as if she thinks he’s something she has to be worried about, jumping on his foot as he stretches from under a blanket, stalking him from across the room as he stands in the doorway. We have feliway, but will up it. I just feel awful that he’s got hurt.

Make sure he knows not to make eye contact with her. It’s threatening to cats.

I am a big fan of cats, but I would not be prioritising a new rescue ahead of one of my children. Your son is SCARED of this cat FGS. 'Tell him not to make eye contact with the cat so it won't attack him' and the cat will see it as 'threatening' (as one poster suggested) is peak batshit advice. Purely making eye contact with a cat is not 'threatening' it for goodness sake!

Your son should not be scared IN HIS OWN HOME of being attacked by your new cat... It's been a month now (near enough) and the cat is still attacking him. I would give it 3-4 more weeks @teaandkittens123 and if nothing has changed I would return the cat to the rescue.

Sometimes (when you adopt a pet,) it doesn't work out. This cat will find a home with someone else, and you can look into taking in another cat in a few months when the dust has settled. It's not law that you HAVE to keep a cat you adopt one. As I said, sometimes things just don't work out, for various reasons.

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Do you know her backstory? It can help with understanding why she might behave in particular ways.

Attacking things moving under a blanket is totally normal cat behaviour.

Feeling threatened by someone blocking a doorway isn't uncommon. My cat (former semi-feral) has been with us over 5 years and still spooks if an entryway (doorway, hallway, stairs) is even just partially blocked.

I wonder if your ds's worries about the cat are leading him to keep looking to check where she is, which is totally understandable! And then she's interpreting this as threatening stares from him.

Can you encourage ds to chat to her without looking at her. I'd also let him be the only dispenser of treats for a while so she associates him with treats.

Get a dog.

The cat may have been abused by children or men and at 7 years old won’t get any better behavior wise in
in my experience unfortunately

You’ve only had her three weeks - it can take months if not years for rescue cats to settle. Our oldest cat is 12 now and we’ve had him since he was 2 - it’s only since he turned about 10 or 11 that he’s finally felt relaxed enough around DH to lie on the bed with him or let him fuss him without hissing or lashing out.

There's the possibility she's actually trying to play, but being a bit rough with him! Maybe he could try playing with her, using something like Da Bird (any longer fishing pole type toy really) which should distract her from pouncing on him and give her something to chase rather than his feet.

Nephew no. 4 (adult) plays stick & blanket with one of their cats - end of the stick under the blanket which you move around, and she adores pouncing on that.

@Allergictoironing is right it might well be play aggression. My 6 year old cat often hides and pounces on my ankles when I walk past and it's nearly always because he's trying to get me to play with him.

Keep playing with cat using wand and feather type toys and balls cat can chase. Get some of the pent up energy out and redirect the 'attacking' into play. Feet and ankles are prefect targets for a cat as is hair, hands and anything that moves a bit fast. Follow up play with treats like Dreamies or Lik e Lix or a full meal if its dinnertime. It will take time so be patient and cat will learn to associate son with fun and nice treats.

If cat is really trying to bite or scratch, remove either son or cat from the room straight away. Mine learnt fast that getting too aggressive resulted in being shut out of the room and he hated that as it was my attention he wanted. Only 5-10 mins and he'd usually come back in a lot calmer.

Google Jackson Galaxy, he has a you tube video on it.

Thank you for all the replies. We do watch Jackson Galaxy, (and I’m reading Cat Mojo atm!) but I hadn’t seen that one, thank you. I think it might be worse because she’s not been outside here yet. It doesn’t seem like playing, it does seem more like a reaction. I realised the feliway had run out so have replaced that and liberally spraying everything with a calming spray! We have a da bird and we play that with her too. Will get some different treats for him to give her too and fingers crossed.

When you can let her out it may get better, they get really stressed stuck in doors particularly if they were allowed out before.

3 to 4 weeks is no time at all for a 7 year old cat. She needs space and to get used to you and your family

i had a 3 year old rescue that crawled out on her belly if a man came into the house she didn’t know. It took her 2 years to stop it, you just didn’t know what’s happened in the past

give her space and get your son to give her dreamies if she comes to him

good on you for rescuing an older cat, don’t give up on her after such a short amount of time