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Helping a grieving cat adjust after loss?

8 replies

TheLadyIsAVamp · 30/04/2026 21:14

One of my cats recently had to be euthanized, it was sudden and unexpected. He was only 13.

His older sister seems to be really struggling without him and adjusting to being an only cat. We brought him home overnight before the cremation as that's the advice the vet gave to help her understand.

She's become very vocal, completely gone off her dried food which she always preferred but seems more keen on wet food which we happily provide. She's become incredibly clingy. She has already been to the vets and has a clean bill of health so I think it is just grief. I already have a feliway plugin.

For context she has always worshipped my partner and seems mostly ok when he is home, he works very long shifts most days though.

I work from home and she regularly cries and wanders, I assume she is searching for her brother.

She settles when I give her some attention but I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to navigate this and help her through the transition.

Its been about 3 weeks now and I'm just wondering if there is anything I'm missing and could be doing to help her.

She's always been a shy sensitive soul, her brother was basically my shadow and they never seemed particularly close, although they did snuggle on occasions.

Any advice is greatly appreciated as every time she cries out my heart breaks again. I'm already struggling with grief myself but just want her to be ok.

OP posts:
TheLadyIsAVamp · 30/04/2026 21:23

Cat tax...this is her

Helping a grieving cat adjust after loss?
Helping a grieving cat adjust after loss?
OP posts:
TheLadyIsAVamp · 30/04/2026 21:24

And this is her brother.

Helping a grieving cat adjust after loss?
OP posts:
shellyleppard · 30/04/2026 21:26

@TheLadyIsAVamp I'm sorry for your loss, its difficult with pets. She is gorgeous though. I wonder if she's still getting used to him not being around?

cupfinalchaos · 30/04/2026 21:37

You 100% did the right thing bringing him home, to help her understand. I’ve been told this by so many vets. I think she’ll miss him for a long time still but giving her extra time and fuss, as much as you possibly can, is definitely the way to go. It’s heartbreaking, I’m so very sorry x

Allergictoironing · 30/04/2026 22:13

The only way I could console Girlcat after her brother died was to find her a suitable Toyboy to push around.

She's an indoor only cat, and I work out of the house at the office, so she would have been alone in the house for up to 10 hours a day. So I found her a younger boy who got on very well with females and desperately needed a patient home to let him settle in to. Tobias absolutely adores her & she treats him even more like a slave than she does me, so 2 happy cats and a contented cat guardian.

TheLadyIsAVamp · 01/05/2026 09:22

Thanks all.

@Allergictoironing I have considered another cat but it's just too soon at the moment as I'm still missing my boy terribly and even thinking about it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I'm also unsure how she would react as she is an older cat (15) I don't want to do the wrong thing and stress her out. It's hard, I just don't know what the right thing to do is.

OP posts:
Isobel201 · 01/05/2026 10:50

If she is used to another cat, perhaps introducing a kitten or a young cat as another friend if you're ready for another?

Allergictoironing · 01/05/2026 18:51

TheLadyIsAVamp · 01/05/2026 09:22

Thanks all.

@Allergictoironing I have considered another cat but it's just too soon at the moment as I'm still missing my boy terribly and even thinking about it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I'm also unsure how she would react as she is an older cat (15) I don't want to do the wrong thing and stress her out. It's hard, I just don't know what the right thing to do is.

Boycat was my soul cat, well over 3 years later I still miss him badly & have the occasional cry.

But Girlcat needed a companion badly, and I took a lot of effort to find the right cat for her rather than for me. If it was just for me, it would have been a total cuddle monster who liked nothing better than to snuggle up & go to sleep in front of the cricket with me; instead I got a very traumatised boy who was terrified of people - but adored female cats.

Sadly I may well have to go through it all again in the next few months/years, as poor Tobias came to me with FIV (not that anyone knew at the time) and a stomach issue that wasn't symptomatic at the time but now is. So looks like his life will be much shortened too.

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