Supporting children through losing a beloved cat

[Ginandtonic100]

Our beloved cat died yesterday - she was hit by a car and had broken her pelvis badly so we had to take the heartbreaking decision to put her down.

She was such a large part of our lives, that to say we’re heartbroken doesn’t really come close. She was our first family pet, so I have no experience at all in navigating this. And very young, so I thought I had a while before having to deal with this.

Does anyone have any good ideas or resources on supporting children through this? They are absolutely devastated and it’s their first really experience of grief.

And is there a good time to consider getting another cat? We could never ever replace her, but I think having something to love might help?

I’m so sorry to hear this. How old are your children? I think that will make the biggest difference in the advice given.

They range from 10 to 18, but the 10 year old is autistic and was extremely attached to the cat - got her for him really and she had such a massively positive impact. So grieving on a number of levels - she was such a young cat with so much zest for life, for me (I had no idea you could love a cat so much) and the impact on the children.

I'll presume these are primary aged children.
Don't be afraid to show you are devastated. Grief is part of life, as the late Queen (and others) have said. Cry and talk about her loss together.
If you have her body back from the vet, bury her in the garden (deep so foxes don't dig her up) and get the children to help. Talk about her as you do it, cry over her. Mark her grave in some way.
If she is being cremated, prepare a place in the house for the urn, a photo, a vase with a few spring flowers. It doesn't have to be forever but it helps for, say, a month initially. Then decide together what you want to do with her ashes. They aren't scary or gruesome so let the children see and touch them. Then scatter them or bury them together if that is what you decide, or keep them in the house. My dogs' ashes are under my desk, after weeks by my bed.

Sorry, wrote it before ages were shown. Also late HMQ said grief is the price we pay for love.