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Worried about newly bereaved cat being alone

8 replies

Mumsworkneverdone · 20/02/2026 07:04

Hi ,

I was heartbroken when I had to put one of my Siamese cats to sleep last week. His brother Monkey has been extremely clingy with me especially at night. He sleeps with me and nestles into my neck.
I’m certainly not ready for another cat (don’t know if I ever will be his brother was my soulmate really) but I am very worried about leaving him at home to go away on holiday for a week in May. He has never been alone at night (always had his brother) but we always left the cats in the house and got someone to visit twice daily.
Monkey is not able to go to a cattery as a terrible reaction to the one vaccine (caused injection site induced sarcoma) which meant I decided he wouldn’t have one sort of vaccine again (he has all the rest). Catterys near me won’t take him if he is not fully vaccinated. I also think that never having been this would be traumatic for him,
I have a friend who can visit up to three times a day for longer visits with cuddles but my question is; does anyone have any experience of this and was their cat ok? Should I be getting another cat asap? (I don’t want to really)
please see pic of my cuddly boy below and one with his brother who we lost :-(

Worried about newly bereaved cat being alone
Worried about newly bereaved cat being alone
OP posts:
BlibBlabBlob · 20/02/2026 07:12

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd be very careful about getting another cat, there's no guarantee that they would get on at all. And it's very unlikely that they would bond and provide comfort to each other. That usually only comes with littermates, who've been together since birth, I believe. We have a mother and son pair, inseparable until he was about six months old (to the point that the rescue insisted that they be rehomed together, wouldn't consider separating them). Then he spent a day at the vets being neutered, came back after eight hours smelling 'wrong', and she's disliked him ever since! They tolerate each other well, but they're never found snuggled together. There are frequent displays of annoyance - chasing, hissing, swiping. And that's from a pair who WERE bonded for a while.

Leaving your remaining cat home alone, with a trusted cat sitter, is going to be far less risky than leaving your remaining cat home alone with a new, strange cat. He will be OK.

Maybe others will be along to say that they've had an old cat and a new cat bond beautifully, but it's never been my experience (and I've had eight cats so far in my life).

You MIGHT do OK with a new, young kitten - older cats often accept a kitten better than a new adult cat. But would you want to be leaving a kitten to go on holiday in a couple of months' time?

Remember also that animals live much more in the moment than we do. I'm sure your cat is missing his brother a lot right now, but that will pass surprisingly quickly. By May, he probably won't remember that he ever had a companion cat. One of our cats went missing for five days a couple of years ago. When she returned home, our other cat had clearly forgotten her entirely! It took a few days for them to settle together again. (Come to think of it, their relationship - already strained when she went missing - has been worse since that brief separation and reintroduction.)

BlibBlabBlob · 20/02/2026 07:14

I think that when you have a truly bonded pair, it is sadly a one-time thing. Introducing a new, unrelated cat in the hope of replicating that bond is vanishingly unlikely to work. But that's OK, because cats living in human houses are - in the absence of a bonded littermate - generally happier to be solo cats!

musicalfrog · 20/02/2026 07:17

Do you know anyone, maybe someone younger who still lives at home with parents, who would want to come and stay at yours while you're away? They might enjoy the 'holiday' and your cat wouldn't be alone.

Mumsworkneverdone · 20/02/2026 07:24

Thank you bliblab I suspect you are right!

Musicalfrog my kids are younger so probably not but will have a think!

OP posts:
soddingkitten · 20/02/2026 07:26

I am really sorry to hear you’ve lost your beautiful cat. My family have always had Siamese cats and we continued when DH and I got together. They are so characterful that it leaves a huge gap when you lose one.

For the benefit of non Siamese slaves posting, Siamese cats are more like dogs than cats. They will usually seek out company and actively follow you round the house to talk at you, bound to the front door to greet you etc. They can get quite acute separation anxiety if used to consistent company.

In your circumstances I’d say cat sitter short term, then consider a kitten. We had a grumpy overlord blue point and he took well in middle age to a girl Siamese kitten. He wasn’t as keen on the subsequent Siamese boy. (My Mum was a crazy cat lady when it came to Siamese cats.)

cupfinalchaos · 20/02/2026 07:28

I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s heartbreaking to see your beloved surviving cat suffer. I am also dreading this myself as I have a very closely bonded pair. I have been told it is important to let the cat see the body of it’s sibling after it has passed, or it will just be confused at its sudden absence. You are doing everything you can to help Monkey including letting him sleep with you at night. May is a little way off and if you have someone coming 3 times a day to give him cuddles and play then that’s lovely. As previous posters have said, it’s hit and miss with a new cat and that bond is unlikely to be replaced. I’m so very sorry.

Mumsworkneverdone · 20/02/2026 07:44

Thank you soddingkitten. What you say is true about Siamese cats , they are very special. My mother always had Siamese cats and my sister has got two in Australia so it’s become quite the tradition! Interesting you mentioned a girl kitten was better received. I was thinking about introducing a kitten in the summer holidays as I’m off work.
Monkey is very gentle with humans but can be a bit feisty with other cats so I was thinking a girl kitten might go down better.

thank you cupolas. I do agree when the vet put Merlin to sleep at home it was really important that Monkey was there and he saw he had died. He hasn’t looked for his brother so I like to thinks he understands what has happened.

seeing this comments has confirmed my thoughts rushing to get another cat would be a mistake. Thank you all!

OP posts:
musicalfrog · 20/02/2026 08:48

Can I just say how lovely it is that you are considering your cat's feelings. I know many of us here would do the same, but there are also many who would not give it a second thought.

🫶

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