13 year old barely eating, been to vets, still not eating...

[Decisionsdecisions1]

Our 13 yr old dcat stopped eating five days ago....
On day 2 we took him to the vets - tests, overnight stay, diagnosed arthritis in spine and constipation and poss infection. They treated all of that and said he managed a little bit of food.
(He does have kidney disease and is on renal food but the vet said tests didn't show renal issues as being the cause).

But since he's come home he's still not eating (we've tried tuna, chicken, all sorts, warming food, hand feeding snacks etc).

He's on painkillers but is showing signs he's not happy - not moving to litter tray, weeing where we is, not grooming, not purring or responding to attention like he usually would. He's completely silent. Total opposite to normal behaviour.

Currently waiting for call back from vet. We haven't slept and can't stop crying with worry. I don't know how we're going to tell dd13 if he doesn't get better. We've tried to play it down and she's been out a lot but I know she is going to be devastated.

It's just happened so quickly. He's gone from a very active outdoor ravenous vocal cat that loves attention to a cat that looks like he is suffering and we just can't help him. Feel so helpless.

That is so difficult for you all @Decisionsdecisions1. I have an old boy too. Your boy really seems unhappy, as you can obviously tell. I hope that the vet is helpfull.

Ask for some mirtazipine. It worked miracles when Penelope would t eat for four days after having all her teeth out. She ended up with a feeding tube. But the mirtazipine did the trick.

Vet injected more painkillers but told us to stop the prescription opioids. Also gave an appetite stimulant - and dcat has managed some tuna and a big drink of water. Back to the vets tomorrow as she wants to keep an eye on him.

He’s still quiet but is exploring the house a little bit more.
Still not out of the woods but I burst into tears when he finally ate after three days….

That’s good news. Fingers crossed for you all 🤞❤️

Dcat is very poorly - possibly stomach cancer. So even when he was eating he wasn’t absorbing anything. He’s lost a lot of weight.

He’s at the vets again overnight for a biopsy and they are giving IV painkillers, steroids, food etc. None of which we can give at home.

We spoke to dd13 about it and she ran away and locked herself in the bathroom. She said it’s making her too sad to talk about it and to see Dp and I upset. She went to see a good friend, who’s parents we are friends with and who know what’s been happening. It was probably the best thing for her.

If any one has any advice about how I can support Dp and dd through this - both are distraught and showing it in different ways - I’d be grateful. I’m barely holding it together myself but want to do everything I can to help them. Dp has borne the brunt of the vet trips etc and is in pieces.

So very sorry to see your update .Sadly if this was my cat I would be PTS with family telling him what a good boy he was .
I have had to let pets go much earlier than expected but it's an act of love to do this
Sorry

I'm so sorry to read your update, but it's an important lesson for your DD to learn. The kindest thing we can do at the end is give them a dignified death and not let them suffer. It's heartbreaking, no way round that, but please don't let your lovely fur baby go on longer than is kind. Big, big hugs xx

Sorry to read your update op

no advice from me but love to you all - just take your time processing it and doing what you know is right for the little mite

if you feel like telling us about him, or sharing a photo, please do.

best to your dd, it’s hard at that age, sounds like they grew up together xx

Our girl had stomach cancer - intestinal lymphoma - but it went undiagnosed for quite a while because she was totally fine in herself, no weight loss, eating as normal, other than frequent vomiting. We had her back and forth numerous times and the vet was never worried until I finally pushed for further tests and it was a massive surprise to both us, our vet, and the specialist vet who we were referred to.

If this is what your cat has there are two kinds, and one has a better prognosis than the other. We had the worst one, and even with chemo were still looking at months rather than years. Our girl found the vet/car/box all really stressful, so we had a week of spoiling her and then said goodbye when she was still “her”. It was absolutely brutal but I couldn’t have coped with seeing her suffer or fade away. I know people think we went in too early because you would never have looked at her and thought she was poorly, but I still think we did right by her. We have a little boy cat now and god forbid, I’d do the same for him if it came to it.

In the run up to the appointment I trawled all my photos of her and got some nice ones printed and framed. We had her sleep in our bed every night and she got all her favourite foods. I was actually off work and spent a lot of time in bed with her telling her “her story” of how she came to be with us, and how much we loved her. On the final day it was sunny and she was able to be out in her beloved garden. I had the vet take her paw prints and got one tattooed on my arm with a heart because I always called her “my sweetest little heart”. We arranged a private cremation and now her ashes are in the hearth next to a photo of her and some white candles (she was a beautiful white girl) and I tell our orange pest that she’s watching him when he’s naughty.

It’s absolutely shit and I am so sorry you are going through this. My mindset was that it was rearranging furniture in a burning house to do the treatment, but ymmv so see what options the vet has. 🤍

May sound awful but the best thing is to pts. vets will continue to bleed you dry and not actually in the best interest of the animal. Its more cruel to keep givingit treatments.

We had to put our cat to sleep and it was awful but in hindsight we should have done it earlier as he was suffering.

Our cat was a similar age to yours and I really do feel your pain. She had been losing weight, had a very elevated heart rate which they thought was the cause. However she stopped eating anything other than Dreamies, with further weight loss the vet could feel a mass.
Apparently tumours excrete something that suppresses the appetite it makes them feel like they have a hangover. It explained the not wanting to eat. There is a saying ‘better a day early than a day late’ and it’s true. He could have tried a massive dose of steroids but extending her life would have been for us not her. It’s the last loving thing we can do for them. I cried buckets of tears prior to the final vets visit, it’s so hard, but you will all get through it.
It’s a difficult thing for children to face and all you can do is talk her through it. We have our pets cremated and ‘bring them home’ I want to get a paw print for the garden to remember all our pets. Maybe you could involve your daughter in something to honour your little one, give her some control.
So sorry you are going through this, if we didn’t love them so much, it wouldn’t be so painful.

Just an update on this….the good news is that after steroids, electrolytes, fluids etc at the vets, the dcat has been eating and sleeping and using litter tray, for a few days.
He’s nowhere near as active as normal though. He’s mostly sleeping between feeds. Happy to be on a lap being stroked while sleeping but not actively seeking us out in the way he would normally.

Biopsy result was inconclusive so we still don’t know if it’s cancer. (There’s no physical tumour). So we don’t know whether he is in rest and recovery from all the treatments or if he’s on a downward spiral.

A full biopsy (of all organs) would confirm conclusively whether it’s cancer and what stage it’s at. Obviously the earlier it’s caught, the more treatable it’s likely to be. The vet said if early enough it could be treatable through medication, not chemo, with a good long term prognosis.

So we now have to decide what to do - put dcat through the trauma of another potentially major sedation and surgery (to mitigate the risk of untreatable cancer) or wait and see and risk leaving it too late.

The vets have been amazing - it’s a family run vets and very well regarded locally. I truly believe they just want what’s best for dcat.
Luckily we have pet insurance and that’s covered all costs so far.

And I finally had a talk with dd - lots of tears but she understands. We tried to talk about the positives - we’ve given a rescue cat a wonderful home and made him happy.