Getting a new cat-advice please (especially if you have DC)

[ferrisbeullersjacket]

Looking for advice on a new pet (cat). Context is we have a 5.5 year old and busy jobs / lives but I do wfh most days.
I am a previous cat owner, cat lover in fact. I had a cat growing up my whole life and looked after her devotedly so I feel I know quite a lot about them. She was a rescue cat from cats Protection League. I actually got her when I was 5, and she lived to the ripe old age of 25!!
Anyway my DS has been asking for nearly a year to get a cat. He doesn’t seem to understand you can’t just go to a shop and buy one (well some people do but I never would), and I need to teach him they are living things and not a toy. But I think it would be valuable for him to have the experience of adopting a pet cat. We are a one child family so no more kids on the horizon and we have the capacity to adopt a pet.
What should I bear in mind or think about with this step?
Questions I have are:
I assume Cats Protection League will want to look at our home?
I assume they would help us adopt a cat whose temperament suited bring around a typical 5 year old boy?
We are in London and I grew up in the country so having a cat on the streets does worry me, though it’s a quiet leafy road. There are also two other cats in our street, though one seems to be a housebound cat. The other does mooch along the wall outside our garden. My childhood cat used to get into all sorts of fights and scrapes either other cats, but she had a huge territory of fields etc. how does it work when the territory is a tiny flat with a small garden??
When we go on holiday we don’t have anyone here to help out. As a child my grandfather would pop over twice a day to feed the cat. Do people use cat sitting service to drop by? I can’t imagine using a cat kennel / cattery as they seem cruel.
Are there any other things I should think about here?
I am quite busy with work and other responsibilities but hoping as I mainly wfh the cat would feel looked after. I know it’s a commitment and also £££ with vets bills etc. so I want to make sure we take the step conscientiously and get everything ready beforehand.

There are a few ways to get a cat - you can always start with Battersea Cats and Dogs. And also check www.protectedpaws.co.uk
Gumtree often has listings for people that had kittens - and are looking for homes for them.

As to having a cat in London - it's possible, and there are a lot of people with cats. Many older cats prefer being house cats. If you get a younger cat - I'd keep them in at home for a while - until they are fully grown and a bit more mature, so able to navigate and stand their ground.
They'll sort out territory with the neighbourhood cats - they have their ways. But for a young kitten it can be daunting. And they can get spooked, and run, and not find way home.
The other dangers for the cats in London is cars - and here again, it helps if a cat is not a kitten when they start going outside.

As to caring for cats when you are away - you'll need to arrange someone to come to your house to feed/change litter. Often the vets can help - we had a nurse from a vet surgery do that. Or you can find someone else you trust. It's something you can always sort out.
These days - you can get litter that lasts longer, and automatic feeders - so you won't need someone to come more than once/day. And when cat is older and more secure in the house - it's possible to do every other day.

Forgot to say - obviously you'll need to neuter and microchip you cat. And many free roaming cats in my area have AirTags on their collars, or some other sort of tracking gadgets.

For when you go away, Catinaflat is a great cat sitter website. You search for local cat sitters and they can visit how little/often as you wish

We adopted our current cat from the RSPCA in October. I had to send them a video of the room the cat would be kept in to start with and our garden before they approved us as potential adopters.

We didn't think about temperament TBH. Most rescue places will say if they're too nervous to be around young children and that's about it.

DS(12) really wanted a cat under a year old as our previous cat had been older than him. Both our cats have been 6 months old when we got them. It's a good age- DS (also an only child) loves our current cat.

We've always had a local cat sitter come in twice a day when we're away. It works fine.

All rescue places will have the cat neutered, vaccinated and microchipped before they hand them over. We were charged £90 for everything.

I’ve been a cat sitter before on cat in a flat- so that’s an option. I’d recommend a cat water fountain for fresh water to try and help prevent CKD. Katkin do wonderful proper food albeit not cheap. Their litter also is excellent. 👌 I haven’t got one but there’s automatic litter trays now if smell and space is an issue. Lots of toys to keep from being bored at home. 🏡

I would suggest looking at a young adult cat rather than a kitten. Rescues are very wary letting kittens go to homes with young children, plus they tend to rehome them in pairs if at all possible.

Yes you would miss out on the adorable cuteness stage but that only lasts for about 5% of the life of the cat. Instead you get a cat who has started to develop it's own personality so you have a better idea of what they are like.

Plus many people seem to only want to adopt kittens, so once they get to about 6 months or so it can be really hard to rehome cats, They will still be very playful at that age.

There seems to be more acceptance these days of indoor only cats which you may want to consider living in London, though there's still many shelters who won't rehome to indoor only unless there's medical needs. I was lucky enough to find a shelter where they are quite pragmatic about it, and all my cats have been very content as indoor only despite 2 having been feral and one a stray from a young age.

Depending where in London you are, Celia Hammonds can be quite good.

I'd recommend getting a tall cat tree, as your cat will probably sometimes fancy a break from your DS, no matter how gentle he is! Our cat still loves her cat tree, although my DC are big now and know not to pester her when she's sleeping.

Enjoy your new cat, how lovely!

We were turned down by two rescue organisations, but luckily a friend knew of a breeder who was retiring a queen and looking to rehome her. She was 4 years old when she came to us, and I don't feel we've missed out by not having her as a kitten. I lobbied my DH is get our cat, and of course she's chosen him as her favourite.

We mix feed her (purina biscuits in the morning) meat at night (bella and duke). You can put meat in an automatic feeder with ice, but the dry food is less of a potch. The feeder means that the morning feed is covered when we're away, and a family member only needs to come over once a day.

A cardboard box with a blanket in, by a radiator, is my cat's happy place. If you're buying a litter tray, can I recommend one with sieve system? I have the Brit Pet one and it's excellent. It seems pricey initially, but it saves money over time as you only chuck out dirty litter.

I volunteer for Cats Protection at one of their London centres. They absolutely will let you adopt if you have a child. It's done on a cat by cat basis.
The staff do the adoption process so I'm not 100% on it but they at least want to see your home location to check it's not a main road or garden backing on to a railway line. You could cat proof the garden.
As you're out a lot, an adult cat would be better. There are usually cats who are child friendly but sometimes we don't.
As for going away, there aren't many catteries in London but they aren't cruel. Cats will be happier in their own home. There are cat sitting companies, an app Cat in a Flat or vet practice staff sometimes cat sit.
Definitely get in touch with rescues. CP cats will all be neutered, vaccinated and chipped. To be fair, most rescues do all this. There is a website called Catchat which will list rescues large and small near you.

This is all so helpful, thank you!

Another thought / question I had was about settling the cat into our home. I know the norm is to set up one room at first, with everything they need, and keep the door closed, and then gradually let them explore the rest of the house. But since we live in a fist it’s basically all open plan without any doors apart from the bedrooms, and we don’t have a spare bedroom. Has anyone got any tips about that? The main room is the kitchen / living so it’s not an empty room. That said we are a small family and during the week my child is at school and my husband is at the office so it’s just me here.

I got my first ever cat as a kitten post-divorce. DD was just 4 at the time. I tried to get a rescue cat first but all the cat charities had such ridiculous requirements that it wasn’t possible, so I got a kitten (moggy). She stayed in the living room for the first 2 weeks, mostly hiding behind the sofa. It would have made no difference whether the living room door had been open or closed as she just wouldn’t come out from her hiding place. I played with her as much as possible, suspending dangly cat toys for her to play with from within her hiding place etc. Eventually she started exploring a bit and gradually began to roam the house. She’s 3 now and just so lovely. Not a lap cat at all but she likes to snuggle next to us for strokes.

My kids were a little older when we got our cat (9 and 7) but they've been so good with him. We watched lots of videos before we got him about cat body language and how to 'ask' the cat if it wants a stroke, where to stroke, how important it is not to chase or be too loud/erratic around the cat. They really 'got it' very well.

We also got an older adult cat who the rescue centre thought had a calm and friendly personality. He was about 5 when we got him so no kitten cuteness but an established personality, so they knew he'd suit our family. He's the perfect family cat tbh.

When we go away it's pretty easy to find someone willing to come and visit him twice a day and deal with basic care. If you can't get an adult neighbour or a friend to help, I have found that local teenagers will bite your hand off for the job and you can easily pick a responsible one with sensible parents who are willing to be the emergency backup.

We don’t have a young child but adopting our boy who was then one from Cats Protection was much easier than I expected. I saw him on the website on a Saturday night (we had recently had to have our lovely girl cat pts and I was just idly browsing), filled out a form even though DP said no way, and the branch manager rang me the next morning. We had a chat, and then I did a “video tour” of our home/garden and sent it to her. I hadn’t expected any of it to move so quickly and DP had gone away for work that morning, so there were a lot of frantic WA messages while he was actually on a flight. The Cats Protection lady said that if he was on board she was happy for us to have him, so I went to meet him the following Wednesday in foster care with DP’s blessing. He was delivered here in a van that Friday!

He was apparently very popular because he’s very cute, and ginger. (I actually didn’t realise everyone loves orange cats, I just felt drawn to him in some way.) My form swung it because I said about losing our girl and her name was the same as one of the Cats Protection lady’s cats, and because we live on a very quiet one way street with a big garden. Two years on and he’s a big orange pest, but he’s my big orange pest. (DP loves him too but he’s definitely “my cat”.)

We are very lucky because MIL will come and feed/fuss if we’re away. DP was away for the first fortnight of him being here and honestly, I didn’t keep him in one room - I did initially have all his kit in the living room but he had free access to all of the house if he wanted it.

We adopted kittens from the local branch of the RSPCA when my youngest was 5.5. They were happy with children of primary school age. Different rescues have different policies with children (and with different cats of course) so it is worth checking.

One of our cats really doesn’t like strangers and would hate a cattery. We normally have a neighbour or relative coming in twice a day when we go away but in all honesty I suspect she would prefer just once!