Have I ‘spoiled’ my cat? Is it possible?

[ButIloveher]

I love my cat. She has the best food, lots of play, lots of cuddles. She isn’t naughty, and so is never told ‘no’. I have never, ever raised my voice or hurt or scared her in any way.

My cat and I visit my mum regularly and my mum is far stricter than I am about things like my cat not being allowed to jump on the coffee table in the living room or scratch the carpet (I don’t have carpets in my house so not an issue).
I don’t scare my cat, I just tell her to ‘get down’ from the table - she knows exactly what I mean, she doesn’t like it and she will lash out and scratch me! Even if I haven’t touched her. And the same with the carpet. I will say ‘no’, she will ignore me, I will approach to pick her up and she will attack my legs!
We are back to being best friends 30 seconds later, she is lying on my chest right now.

My mum says she is aggressive like this and resistant to correction because I have spoiled her. Have I? I didn't think you could spoil a cat. It makes me sad to think it is my fault when all I have done is lover her. Can I do anything about it? She is now 4 years old.

Cats aren't really suited to going 'visiting'. It's pretty stressful for her, being in an unfamiliar environment, then having random rules introduced. Leave her at home when you visit your mum. Get a cat sitter if necessary.

I think it's a big ask of cat to behave itself if you take it out of its own environment and put it in another. It's not about spoiling,I think any cat would find that hard tbh.

Why do you take your cat visiting? It's highly stressful for a cat to be taken into a non-home environment that it hasn't chosen to visit independently. Also, yes, if you've never said 'No' to your cat then that suggests you've not been training her properly, all animals misbehave and need to be told so. My mum's cat is a little prince, but he knows what 'No' means.

She’s a cat. They do cat stuff. They don’t like visiting people in their houses. You can’t discipline a cat.

Your cat is showing clear signs of distress because you are changing her environment. Stop taking her visiting, that’s really weird.

Cats are supposed to be adored and spoiled and never told no.
But I agree with others - don't take her visiting. My cat would hate that.

Why on earth are you taking your cat to visit your mum? Leave her at home!

I take her because my cat is very attached to me and shy, I thought she’d find a cat sitter more distressing, she hides under the bed whenever I have visitors at home. I visit mum for a fortnight at a time, most recently at Christmas.

Please stop taking your cat out of her environment - cats are hugely territorial and generally don’t like change. Get a cat sitter or have your mum come to visit you instead.

Correct her with a spray of water from a bottle. They quickly learn that even the shake of the bottle is enough to stop. It’s the noise of the spray they don’t like although most don’t like it if the water hits their face.

I echo what others have said. That’s stress not that she’s spoiled which I don’t think is possible with cats. They always find something you’ve done lacking 😂

Also you need to pay the cat tax!!

Seriously? Why would you do that?

I would stop taking your cat to your mum's house. Most cats would prefer to stay in their own environment. Also, a cat can't be trained like a dog, so telling it to stop scratching the carpet is not going to work. You could try a large scratch post but anything to do with cats is hit and miss - I have two cats, one uses it multiple times a day, the other never uses it.

Please don’t use corporal punishment on your cat.

My girl hides whenever people visit, EXCEPT for her 2 cat sitters. She learned fairly quickly that if I wasn’t around, they would provide food, play & company so she comes out to welcome them. I’ve seen the photos, I could tell she was relaxed & happy.

I found the same when I was visiting a friend’s house twice a day for a week to look after her shy cat. I’d barely seen the cat previously because she always hid, but when I was the only person available it was different. Perhaps 3 visits in, the cat decided I was safe & was fine with me from then on.

@jamandcustard@Cazzovuoihmmm “corporal punishment” hardly!

TBF I’ve only used it on a particularly challenging older kitten who would launch himself at anything and everything for his safety as much as anything.

He never even got wet. The noise of the bottle sounds like a cat hiss to them. Made him stop and pause and engage what few brain cells he has before trying to get himself killed.

My cat has spent 14 out of 16 years so far hating everyone apart from my DH, DD and I. Cat sitters would only know that he was around by the fact that his food bowls were empty. But we still used them when we had to, he would have hated being in another house or cattery. Honestly Op I think that this is the issue with your cat, being prised out of her safe space to go somewhere with different rules.

I know some cats personally that are happy to go away with their owners, especially to the same regular place BUT I would try a cat sitter. Funnily enough when only one person is their to feed them they do usually decide to overcome their wariness and “tart” themselves to the feeder.

My cats are all over the neighbours when they come in to feeding. Rest of the time they do not go near! Very rude indeed 😂

Having a stranger come in to feed and take care of her for 2 weeks will be far less distressing than taking her with you. Please stop, poor cat.

Correct her for what? Being a fucking cat? Jesus.

OP do not take your cat out of her safe environment and start spraying her with water

Yes - exactly like mine!

The sitters also know they can give her extra treats so that’s one more reason she loves them.

Our cat is a very spoilt boy, as was our previous girl before him - but he is also a very naughty boy (ginger) and you best believe he gets told off and a stern NO if he's acting up! (I know people say you can't train cats, but I think they learn quite quickly - I trained our last cat to sit and give a paw like a dog because she was very food motivated and knew she got a treat afterwards.)

I'd never shout at an animal or use a physical reprimand beyond a removal from the crime scene, but a strong "ah-ah" or "no" is absolutely fine in my book. Our boy looks right at me before he does something naughty, like he's checking I'm watching - he's a carpet scratcher despite having a million scratching posts. I know he's doing it because he wants me to do something for him, usually go into the kitchen with him and then he sits in front of his cupboard for a snack... He's also a right wee monkey for getting in on any food sitting on the side, like batch cooking waiting to go in the freezer, and he has the guiltiest face on him when spotted with his head in a pot. He absolutely knows (but does it anyway).

I don't think taking a cat away from its home to visit another house is great and would definitely look into a cat sitter. We are very lucky that MIL is happy to come here twice a day and feed/fuss. The cat's outdoor access is more limited than it would be if we were here, but if the weather's good she will go and do a bit of weeding or sit outside with a cup of tea while the cat potters around. I know not everyone is that fortunate but I'm sure your local FB group would have recommendations - our neighbourhood group always has people asking and others suggesting.

So if you never had to use it, what exactly was its’ purpose?

Surely all cats are spoilt?

All behaviour sounds within normal boundaries for a cat, you can’t train them really.

I don’t think your mum is a cat person

Is she a tortie, OP? Cat tax, please! 😻