New kitten, resident cat not happy

[pulledmuscle]

We got our first cat under a year ago, she’s 9 months old now. At the time I wanted at least 2 from the litter so they would have company growing up but the others were given away. We now decided to adopt another from the shelter as everyone had advised our first kitten was still young enough to be accepting of a new addition.
Unfortunately the shelter didn’t provide much advice, and we searched up tips on introduction online. Kept them separate and swapped items with their scent on. Day 4 and we’ve let them see each other in the same room. First kitten has always been extremely timid and loving and was shocked at first, then scared of the 2 month old kitten (who is ting by the way). The shock has now turned into aggression and she will make a beeline for the new kitten and try and wrestle her.
I don’t know what to do or how long this will last, I’m disheartened and keeping them separate is tough, the older kitten sits outside the new kittens room and the younger one wants to explore outside the room.
Had a call with the online vet who advised one of the kittens may have to be rehomed which has left me in tears because I could never think of rehoming either.
Please tell me the introductions will work and situation may improve.

4 days is no time at all when introducing a new kitten into your cat's home.

It takes time and patience.

I cant tell you it will work, but I can tell you to take it slow and dont expect them to be best friends or friends at all.

It can take months.

sonetimes you need them apart for a couple/few weeks. Then brief introductions, ideally when each are eating (supérate Bowie) do you have any glass interior doors?

OP, this is such early days.
I had a similar situation, rescue cats of a similar age, many many years ago.
They never became best buddies....the kitten would have liked nothing more than to snuggle up together, but my year old kitty was a bit of a diva...but they did tolerate each other, and after a year or so were friendly and nose touching each other.
It was nearly a decade before they'd happily share my bed 😀
As seniors my little diva mellowed considerably and they could often be found together, close but not quite touching.
Some cats will never be best buddies, but they will usually work it out amongst themselves.
You will get there!

Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate them. You have given me more reassurance than what I’ve been advised from professionals so far and I am very grateful.

No glass doors unfortunately but they watch each other through a thin gap in the door of the room the smaller kitten is being kept in.
I will continue to let them view each other this way.

Are you sure it's aggressive wrestling rather than a mix of play & sorting out pecking order? If there's no blood, chunks of fur or more than a couple of squeals of pain I'd let them be at least for a bit and supervised.

When I finally let Girlcat and Tobias meet (he spent about 3 weeks shut in his own room) there were a couple of "incidents" but once she'd made it clear she was the boss of the household that's stopped - though they can act as though they are trying to kill each other sometimes they are genuinely only playing. The one time she caught him with a claw on his face, she was more upset than him! He is completely besotted with her now, she accepts his worship as her due.

It’s only four days. I think you’ll look back on this within the next fortnight and realise you were unnecessarily worrying.

Ours were the same at start, took a couple weeks. Persevere, they will grow to love each other

We adopted a 16 week old kitten in August and had a 10 month kitten who'd been with us from 8 weeks old. We kept them apart for just over a week but did a lot of scent swapping and room swapping, keeping the new kitten mostly in 1 room but occasionally swapping the room and letting the older kitten going in and exploring. I read if intros aren't working go back to keeping them separate and start again. Ours saw each other twice briefly in the first week and the older kitten growled and hissed but she also spent a lot of time outside the room the kitten was in, sniffing. After a week I started introducing them at play time and treat time and it went well but I felt the older kitten was slightly put out and started spending more time outside although it was August September so quite warm and she was an independent teen living it up and exploring. For about a month or so the older kitten, tolerated the new kitten but we're now 4 months in and they are best friends. They play, snuggle , older cat grooms the kitten. Keep at it, it's totally worth it when it works. Top tip would be to over indulge resident cat as much as possible so they don't feel pushed out. We did also use the Feliway friends which I think helped, if you buy one make sure you don't buy a counterfeit as it won't work. Good luck stick at it.

A picture of my two little kitties snuggling included.

I think because there’s a size difference as the new kitten is the size of a large gerbil and very delicate looking (even though she’s just as feisty), I’m fearful of the bigger kitten doing damage, even if minor as I don’t want the little one thinking she’s in danger. I may wait until she puts on some weight and grows before putting them together

Thank you, this gives me hope!
And your kittens are so gorgeous, I hope this is how mine end up.

Are the kittens the same sex?

Yes they’re both female. Older kitten is spayed if it makes any difference.

Hi Op, try feliway plug in it will help both cats if your older one is stressed or anxious with the arrival of the new kitten.
I Know we are very fortunate when we had to introduce two kittens to our older neutered male cat over Christmas break.
It took a few days for him to approach them and even then he would look at them from a distance and shoot off as soon as they tried to approach him, gradually he got more confident and started to get closer they do play flight which can at first look aggressive I would say to look it up online to distinguish between play fighting and actual fighting.
I can honestly say they all get along lovely now girl kitten loves older male and he is smitten with her and loves to play with male kitten.

Females are the dominant sex in cats. They may need to establish which one is the matriarch and then it’ll all settle down.
I had a very feisty young male stray come live with us. He had very little appropriate handling as a kitten and was then abandoned by his owners who lived out so he came to live with us. He was a nightmare, no manners at all so I reduced a female who was a similar age and she’s knocked him into shape. He’s lovely now but he is regularly put in his place by girl cat who has to be dominant cat in the house.

Nothing you describe sounds like aggression to me! It sounds very much like play and normal rough and tumble. Don't let the tiny one's size make you anxious - they can more than hold their own and adult cats know to be gentle with the babies.

Hi @pulledmusclewe have successfully used a puppy cage to introduce new cats. New cat in cage with food, water and litter tray, original cat allowed to roam as usual. If your original cat goes outside then maybe let new cat out to explore for a short while before popping them back in the cage.
We had to reintroduce a litter mate cat to ours when DMIL had to go into a nursing home and found it worked well. Also second PPs suggestion re Feliway plug ins - good luck, it will work out eventually!

I second Feliway plug ins. They work wonders. I wish they had been around years ago when we had a grumpy Tortie who was also a diva. She was a tiny cat but when I rehomed (from a friend ( an enormous neutered male) , she ruled the roost and he was terrified of her. It all shook down after a couple of weeks. So at 4 days, it's too soon to judge. Little Miss Grumpydraws lived until she was nearly 23!

I hope it is just play fighting. For me I can’t bear to see the little one being pinned down after she rubs up to the bigger kitten and boos her nose and tries to nuzzle her. I’d feel better if she was a little bigger.

This is a good idea with the cage, I will try that.

That’s how they learn. Unless it turns into actual aggression the best thing you can do is just let them get on with it, honestly.

If it was genuine aggression and the little one was being hurt or scared, they wouldn't keep going back for more they would be running away & hiding or coming to you for safety.

We are going through a similar process - two new kittens introducing to resident cats. One nervous resident.
Think of this process as weeks/ months not days. It’s not really about them getting on famously, more about how they share territory and resources.
The book cat vs cat by Pam Johnson is amazing- it has a step by step how to do introductions. It’s worked really well for ours, and kept everyone happy and no aggression. If you don’t have a glass door, You can get a mesh one off amazon for about £20 ~ really helped with ours for first visuals.

@Mamma22cats aww I love these stories 🙂

How's it going OP? Be patient!

When you are ready for them not to be seperated by a barrier, spend lots of short 5-10 min sessions playing with the kittens together with a wand toy. Use treats to distract them away from any physical contact and back to you and the toy.

Hhave you looked at Jackson Galaxy on YouTube? He's got goodadvice about slow intros. Also look up Bordernerd on Facebook, she fosters kittens and has loads of videos showing how she introduces kittens to each other and also to her resident cat and 2 dogs.