Since last March, I’ve been feeding a stray.
I have my own cat, and in nicer weather I leave the patio doors open. I noticed my cat’s food would be eaten quite often, and eventually spotted the stray cat in my garden. I started leaving food outside for him because he was terrified and would bolt if I got near him.
He slowly started to trust me and his little head would pop up at my kitchen door if he was hungry. He was there waiting for me every morning when I got up, and slowly started coming inside to be fed. He would sometimes let me sit on the floor while he ate, and if I timed it right I could give him a quick rub behind the ears as he bent his head to start eating. In the autumn he got braver still and if I was sitting very quietly he would come inside and have a rest on my stairs, but would bolt out the door if I moved.
I set up a shelter for him in my DCs old playhouse with blankets and straw, which he did sleep in when it started to get cold.
Last weekend for the first time ever he came in, curled up on the sofa, started to purr and slept solidly for an hour. The plan was always to build his trust and then get him to the vet and take ownership of him and I really thought that we were getting somewhere.
I saw him on Sunday as usual, although he didn’t eat all of his food which was not usual, but then didn’t see him again for three days. I was getting worried, it was the longest I hadn’t seen him since he had started coming.
On Thursday, I pulled up from work and he was by my bins crouched down in the pouring rain. I went to the back door but he didn’t jump the fence as he usually would, so I opened the gate and he came inside a few minutes later.
I immediately knew something was wrong, he was really wheezing and didn’t want to eat. I had to call my ex husband to come and help me get him into a carrier and I took him to the emergency vets. They confirmed he was not microchipped, male, and intact. He was still struggling to breathe so they put him in an oxygen tent. All they could tell me was that he had severe swelling in his throat, ulcers in his mouth, and yellowing in his eyes which indicated a problem with his liver or kidneys.
His breathing improved with the oxygen so they wanted to keep him in and run tests. I went to see him before I left and gave him a stroke and a kiss, and within an hour of getting home they rang me to tell me that they had needed to put him to sleep. While under sedation they had found that his throat was so inflamed and raw that they were certain that he had “ingested something toxic”.
I feel so sad and cried pretty much all day yesterday. I keep blaming myself and thinking I should have caught him sooner, and feel sick that he couldn’t jump the fence and I didn’t think to open the back gate. He could have been there waiting for me for days and I didn’t see him.
I know it sounds stupid, but I got really attached to him and his funny little ways. I really did hope to give him a safe home but wanted it to be at his pace. I also keep thinking I should have notified a rescue centre, but all of my local ones are full and he was being fed so would they have helped?
I don’t know why I’m posting this, I just wanted to get it out I suppose. I miss seeing his little face at my door waiting for me 😞