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I’m so sad

29 replies

Weom · 17/01/2026 13:56

Since last March, I’ve been feeding a stray.

I have my own cat, and in nicer weather I leave the patio doors open. I noticed my cat’s food would be eaten quite often, and eventually spotted the stray cat in my garden. I started leaving food outside for him because he was terrified and would bolt if I got near him.

He slowly started to trust me and his little head would pop up at my kitchen door if he was hungry. He was there waiting for me every morning when I got up, and slowly started coming inside to be fed. He would sometimes let me sit on the floor while he ate, and if I timed it right I could give him a quick rub behind the ears as he bent his head to start eating. In the autumn he got braver still and if I was sitting very quietly he would come inside and have a rest on my stairs, but would bolt out the door if I moved.

I set up a shelter for him in my DCs old playhouse with blankets and straw, which he did sleep in when it started to get cold.

Last weekend for the first time ever he came in, curled up on the sofa, started to purr and slept solidly for an hour. The plan was always to build his trust and then get him to the vet and take ownership of him and I really thought that we were getting somewhere.

I saw him on Sunday as usual, although he didn’t eat all of his food which was not usual, but then didn’t see him again for three days. I was getting worried, it was the longest I hadn’t seen him since he had started coming.

On Thursday, I pulled up from work and he was by my bins crouched down in the pouring rain. I went to the back door but he didn’t jump the fence as he usually would, so I opened the gate and he came inside a few minutes later.

I immediately knew something was wrong, he was really wheezing and didn’t want to eat. I had to call my ex husband to come and help me get him into a carrier and I took him to the emergency vets. They confirmed he was not microchipped, male, and intact. He was still struggling to breathe so they put him in an oxygen tent. All they could tell me was that he had severe swelling in his throat, ulcers in his mouth, and yellowing in his eyes which indicated a problem with his liver or kidneys.

His breathing improved with the oxygen so they wanted to keep him in and run tests. I went to see him before I left and gave him a stroke and a kiss, and within an hour of getting home they rang me to tell me that they had needed to put him to sleep. While under sedation they had found that his throat was so inflamed and raw that they were certain that he had “ingested something toxic”.

I feel so sad and cried pretty much all day yesterday. I keep blaming myself and thinking I should have caught him sooner, and feel sick that he couldn’t jump the fence and I didn’t think to open the back gate. He could have been there waiting for me for days and I didn’t see him.

I know it sounds stupid, but I got really attached to him and his funny little ways. I really did hope to give him a safe home but wanted it to be at his pace. I also keep thinking I should have notified a rescue centre, but all of my local ones are full and he was being fed so would they have helped?

I don’t know why I’m posting this, I just wanted to get it out I suppose. I miss seeing his little face at my door waiting for me 😞

OP posts:
YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:02

Oh you have posted loads of times about this cat!

Have you told your neighbours, the cat’s owners?

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:09

I think you’re mixing me up with another poster? I definitely haven’t posted about this stray before, I have a photo of him if that would help prove it, although that would only work if the other poster had also posted a picture.

OP posts:
YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:10

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:09

I think you’re mixing me up with another poster? I definitely haven’t posted about this stray before, I have a photo of him if that would help prove it, although that would only work if the other poster had also posted a picture.

Goodness

same month, also built a shelter

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:12

Is that really weird? That two people in the UK would start feeding a stray in the same month and then make a shelter for them? Wouldn’t anyone feeding a stray that they were concerned about build a shelter in the winter months?

Genuinely, I am really upset by what happened on Thursday night and didn’t expect to have to defend myself. You are welcome to report my post and ask MN to check my posting history if you like.

OP posts:
Tengreenuggs · 17/01/2026 14:23

Did they scan him for a chip and contact the owners?

at this time of year my money would be on antifreeze. They love the stuff but it doesn’t love them. Poor thing. I’m really sorry OP, they’re so easy to fall in love with. He came to you for help 💔 take comfort in knowing that he felt safe with you and you did right by him.

YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:27

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:12

Is that really weird? That two people in the UK would start feeding a stray in the same month and then make a shelter for them? Wouldn’t anyone feeding a stray that they were concerned about build a shelter in the winter months?

Genuinely, I am really upset by what happened on Thursday night and didn’t expect to have to defend myself. You are welcome to report my post and ask MN to check my posting history if you like.

And build a shelter in their garden?

YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:27

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:12

Is that really weird? That two people in the UK would start feeding a stray in the same month and then make a shelter for them? Wouldn’t anyone feeding a stray that they were concerned about build a shelter in the winter months?

Genuinely, I am really upset by what happened on Thursday night and didn’t expect to have to defend myself. You are welcome to report my post and ask MN to check my posting history if you like.

I am not attacked you and you don’t need to defend

I was wrong you are not that poster with the neighbours cats.

apologies! And sorry for loss.

Are you having to pick up the vet bill? How much?

ImaniMumsnet · 17/01/2026 14:28

Hi @YourPoliteLeader just poking our head round to say that the OP hasn’t posted about this recently and they are completely above board.

We hope this helps with any concerns you might have.

YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:28

ImaniMumsnet · 17/01/2026 14:28

Hi @YourPoliteLeader just poking our head round to say that the OP hasn’t posted about this recently and they are completely above board.

We hope this helps with any concerns you might have.

My apologies, genuinely

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:28

Tengreenuggs · 17/01/2026 14:23

Did they scan him for a chip and contact the owners?

at this time of year my money would be on antifreeze. They love the stuff but it doesn’t love them. Poor thing. I’m really sorry OP, they’re so easy to fall in love with. He came to you for help 💔 take comfort in knowing that he felt safe with you and you did right by him.

They did scan him and he wasn’t microchipped. They said he was aged between 9-13 at an estimate so I’m not sure how he ended up on the streets but he was very skinny when he first started coming here.

I wondered about anti-freeze, wouldn’t that have been deliberate though? I hate the thought that someone would be so cruel on purpose.

Thank you, I appreciate that. It’s just really sad.

OP posts:
Weom · 17/01/2026 14:32

YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:27

I am not attacked you and you don’t need to defend

I was wrong you are not that poster with the neighbours cats.

apologies! And sorry for loss.

Are you having to pick up the vet bill? How much?

Edited

No, I’m not. It was a local PDSA/Vets Now hospital who don’t charge for strays. If he had recovered, they would have sent him to a rescue centre.

OP posts:
YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:33

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:32

No, I’m not. It was a local PDSA/Vets Now hospital who don’t charge for strays. If he had recovered, they would have sent him to a rescue centre.

Oh wow that’s wonderful. Never thought to donate to them but will now

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 17/01/2026 14:34

@Weom you loved him, fed him, showed him great kindness and comfort in his final months and he grew to trust you and relax with you.
I'm gutted for you that it didn't go any further and the poor boy had to be PTS. But you've got nothing to reproach yourself for. You gave him some love, food, warmth and help in his last bit of life. RIP boy cat. 💞

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:35

YourPoliteLeader · 17/01/2026 14:33

Oh wow that’s wonderful. Never thought to donate to them but will now

I’ve made a donation, and set up a monthly donation. They were brilliant with him, and me.

OP posts:
Weom · 17/01/2026 14:35

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 17/01/2026 14:34

@Weom you loved him, fed him, showed him great kindness and comfort in his final months and he grew to trust you and relax with you.
I'm gutted for you that it didn't go any further and the poor boy had to be PTS. But you've got nothing to reproach yourself for. You gave him some love, food, warmth and help in his last bit of life. RIP boy cat. 💞

That’s made me cry again, thank you.

I really hope he did feel loved for even a little while.

OP posts:
Egglio · 17/01/2026 14:37

Oh OP. You couldn't have known. Think of what luxury you gave him with his nice food, a friendly face and that warm nap on your sofa. Then you made sure he had access to treatment, and he was surrounded by caring people at the end. You did a good job.

Weom · 17/01/2026 14:39

Egglio · 17/01/2026 14:37

Oh OP. You couldn't have known. Think of what luxury you gave him with his nice food, a friendly face and that warm nap on your sofa. Then you made sure he had access to treatment, and he was surrounded by caring people at the end. You did a good job.

Thank you, that really means a lot.

They find a way to creep into your heart don’t they?

OP posts:
YorkshireGoldDrinker · 17/01/2026 15:01

This is why I always put the lid back on securely when topping off automotive fluids. Some might view it as being very anal, but things can get knocked over and the thought of an animal or human ingesting it strikes the fear of God into me.

You did nothing wrong, OP. You did everything right by that sweet cat and some careless idiot or downright cruel person decided to end his life. I'm so sorry for your loss 💐

Weom · 17/01/2026 15:09

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 17/01/2026 15:01

This is why I always put the lid back on securely when topping off automotive fluids. Some might view it as being very anal, but things can get knocked over and the thought of an animal or human ingesting it strikes the fear of God into me.

You did nothing wrong, OP. You did everything right by that sweet cat and some careless idiot or downright cruel person decided to end his life. I'm so sorry for your loss 💐

I really hope it was carelessness 😞

Thank you, and thank you for taking such care with toxic fluids.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 17/01/2026 16:00

I'm so sorry OP, what a heartbreaking story.

Try and console yourself that he trusted you to take away his pain. Most injured cats would run away and hide somewhere but he returned to you. And you did help him, in lots of little ways, but you gave him the best help you could at the end, surrounded by staff who could ensure his suffering would stop❤

Ignore that poster, I built a shelter in my garden for very skinny strays (over 5 in 5 years) so you aren't the only one. There are too many abandoned and uncared for cats unfortunately.

CatChant · 17/01/2026 16:14

I’m so very sorry. Please don’t reproach yourself OP. You treated him with such kindness. He trusted you enough to come to you to come to you when he was in pain because he knew you would do your best for him. And you did. He was cared for by kind people in warmth and safety at the end.

Whosthetabbynow · 17/01/2026 16:18

This has made me so sad. I love cats and I’d be feeling the same as you OP. ❤️💐 xx

Weom · 17/01/2026 16:22

Thank you all so much for your lovely posts and understanding. He wasn’t “mine” but I loved him anyway.

OP posts:
RedRosie · 17/01/2026 16:27

So sorry @ImaniMumsnet. Very sad. But you've been kind and good in a hard world, and I thank you for it. 💐

Leeds157 · 17/01/2026 16:27

This is so kind of you and over time he really came to trust you as ‘his own’ ❤️so sad poor boy, there must be so many dangerous things outside for cats and you cared for him and he built a bond with you, not everyone is as kind unfortunately to animals, but you truly made a difference to this lovely boy x

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