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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

My darling cat has been run over - I need practical help

41 replies

Rippeditoff · 04/01/2026 23:54

I think I’m in shock. I live down a tiny rural lane around a mile from the main road. I had a call from my neighbour to ask if the cat was in because they had had a call from someone on the main road to say there was a dead cat in the road.

I drove up there and the caller had moved her on to their driveway. She was in such a sorry state, covered in blood and quite obviously dead.

Id taken a blanket with me and he helped me wrap her up and I put her in the boot. The kids were in the house and I don’t know why but I just couldn’t tell them. They have school tomorrow so I will have to do it after that.

But I’ve left her in the boot overnight wrapped up and I feel awful. It’s so cold outside I don’t know what to do.

If I bring her in the kids will see but I can’t
sleep knowing she’s out there. I’m single so don’t have anyone to ask. Will she be ok out there? Should I find a box to put her in and bring her inside?

OP posts:
Rippeditoff · 04/01/2026 23:56

Kids are young and older teens who love her to pieces. Two of them are still awake and the older one just asked if I’d seen her (she frequently goes out mousing for hours)

Should I just tell them and get her out of the car? But I can’t bury her tonight, the ground is frozen so what should I do

OP posts:
afaloren · 04/01/2026 23:57

I’m so very sorry for your loss. What a dreadful
shock.

This is going to sound awful and I really don’t want to upset you further but the boot is probably the best place for her specifically because it’s cold. She will be protected from any pests too.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 04/01/2026 23:57

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you would feel happier to bring her in, in a box. Even though she is gone, it will make you feel better to care for her in this way.

DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira · 04/01/2026 23:58

I am so sorry Flowers they take our hearts with them.

Leave her where she is for now, she's safe there and the cold temperature will be good for keeping her cool.

You need to deal with the emotional shock- hot drink and something sweet

Rippeditoff · 04/01/2026 23:59

afaloren · 04/01/2026 23:57

I’m so very sorry for your loss. What a dreadful
shock.

This is going to sound awful and I really don’t want to upset you further but the boot is probably the best place for her specifically because it’s cold. She will be protected from any pests too.

Yes that’s what I thought, if I leave her outside in the shed or garden a fox might get her?

God this is awful, I’m usually very good in a crisis but I can’t think straight about this. I can’t stop seeing the state she was in

OP posts:
afaloren · 05/01/2026 00:01

I’m so sorry. Is there anyone you can call? Or can you have a strong cup of hot sweet tea?

Wreckinball · 05/01/2026 00:01

Keep her outside, she’ll freeze in this weather which is the best thing to preserve her. See if you can get someone to dig a hole for you tomorrow, then tell the DCS when they come home from school and you can have tears and a little funeral together, perhaps get them to wrap her in something and write little messages to bury with her. If she looks damaged perhaps don’t let them see all of her but enough to know it’s their cat

SoftBalletShoes · 05/01/2026 00:01

This is just terrible. I am so, so sorry, OP. Your poor little cat. 😢

blankcanvas3 · 05/01/2026 00:02

I’m so sorry. You are best off keeping her in the boot because it’s so cold, if she comes inside to the warm she might decompose a little bit which will be worse for you and your kids. I think the ground is going to be frozen for a good few days to be honest, have you thought about cremation? You can google cremation services in your local area - they’re all very lovely in my experience. Then you’ll be able to have her back inside with you. Have a cup of tea and try not to worry or feel bad, there’s nothing you could have done xx

Lavender14 · 05/01/2026 00:03

I'm so sorry op, this happened one of my wee cats too it's heartbreaking.

If it were just you in the house I'd bring her in but because the kids are there I think you're wisest to keep her safe in the boot where they aren't likely to accidentally find her because that's not how you want them to find this out. I'd bring out a box and a nice blanket and wrap her in it and keep her there. The cool will be good and nothing will get to her so she'll be in peace overnight.

In the morning you could contact your vet to ask about cremation if it's too frozen to bury her. And then you've time to think about what to say to the kids tomorrow after school and you'll have processed it yourself a bit by then and be able to support them. When they're ready you could do something with them to honour her.

SoUncertain · 05/01/2026 00:03

I'm so sorry for your loss. I would leave her in the car because of the warmer temperature in the house.

Will the ground be workable tomorrow, do you think? If not, you could speak to your vet to organise a pet burial/cremation. Just an option if you need one.

I am sorry you're going through this. 💐

catontheironingboard · 05/01/2026 00:03

I’m so sorry for you, OP - sending you love and kind wishes tonight 💐❤️

I would leave her in the car boot tonight, where it’s cold; and talk to your DC about it tomorrow after school. You can ring the vet tomorrow when they are at school to organise a cremation.

I’m so sorry for all of you. ❤️

Rippeditoff · 05/01/2026 00:03

Ive gone to bed as two teens still up and I can’t pretend to be normal around them.

Thank you all for your help, I’m going to leave her there, you’re right about the cold and she was wrapped up so not just left in the boot uncared for.

God no they can’t see her at all, she will be buried in her blanket

OP posts:
Rippeditoff · 05/01/2026 00:04

Really thank you. I just needed someone to tell me what to do

OP posts:
modernminimalist · 05/01/2026 00:07

She’s safe in the boot and wrapped up. I get it. Sometimes I go to get cats from the road and l take them to the vets to check if chipped and I talk to them all the way there, wrapped up, even though I know logically they’re gone
i am so so sorry, be gentle with yourself

Rippeditoff · 05/01/2026 00:11

Her brother who died a number of years ago is buried in the garden, I think I’d like her with him.

I hadn’t thought about the frozen ground, once I’ve told the kids my older teen boy should be able to dig the hole I hope.

I know this is silly but I keep thinking maybe it isn’t her? She was in such a state it was hard to tell. She isn’t home though so it must be? But there is a chance it isn’t

OP posts:
ThatBrickHiker · 05/01/2026 00:12

Sending you love, you poor thing, how horrible 😭 Wrap her in the blanket and keep her cool in the boot xxx sending hugs xx

Safxxx · 05/01/2026 00:14

I'm so sorry for your loss 🐈 💔 few days ago my brother's Cat got hit by a car and died instantly...a passer by took him to the vets...and my brother got the dreaded call, his kids couldn't stop crying 😭 they bought him home, he was wrapped in a towel and placed in a box...they said they're goodbyes and buried him in the garden.
Your kids will be heartbroken, but they need to grieve her. It took my dear neice 2 days to stop crying....

Cappuccino5 · 05/01/2026 00:20

Bless you, OP. One of our cats was run over outside our house a few months ago - my lovely neighbours found him and gave me the dreaded knock on the door (even tried resuscitation as they are both medics) but unfortunately it was just too late. It’s absolutely awful seeing them in that state, I agree with you that the DC don’t need to see her like that. The best place for her tonight is the car - the temperatures are low enough to preserve her body until you can bury her.

WeAreNotOk · 05/01/2026 00:43

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Arrange a burial ceremony for her. Get kids to write little notes/poems/whatever to bury her with.

Lahdedah2026 · 05/01/2026 00:50

Rippeditoff · 05/01/2026 00:11

Her brother who died a number of years ago is buried in the garden, I think I’d like her with him.

I hadn’t thought about the frozen ground, once I’ve told the kids my older teen boy should be able to dig the hole I hope.

I know this is silly but I keep thinking maybe it isn’t her? She was in such a state it was hard to tell. She isn’t home though so it must be? But there is a chance it isn’t

Aw OP I'm so sorry for your loss

My cat was run over outside my home in September, he died on the way to the vets. I left him at the vets for the pet funeral to pick up.... I ended up convincing myself that it wasn't my cat who has been run over, got the vets / funeral directors to double check too, but it was him, our brains can't bare to acknowledge it somtimes x

Sighohbarn · 05/01/2026 00:54

What an awful thing to have to deal with. I'm so sorry, OP.
Yes, leave her in the boot. She's okay there. She'll be safe there.
You are almost certainly in shock. Have you had something sweet? It helps.

Are you sure you can't tell the kids now? All have a cry and a hug together? They don't need to see her.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 05/01/2026 01:03

Tell your children tonight if they are still awake. If not, tell them in the morning. If I had been sent to school not knowing "for my own good", I would have been livid. And once they know, they can stop worrying about her not coming back yet.

As long as the ground is frozen, you cannot bury her. I broke a garden fork and strained tendons that took months to heal by trying to dig frozen soil. You could have her cremated and bury the ashes with her sister.

I am sorry for your loss.

caringcarer · 05/01/2026 01:12

OP when you bury her in the garden make sure it is deep and put a paving slap over the top to stop foxes digging her up. So very sorry for your loss. I know how much kitties are loved. 😻

Rippeditoff · 05/01/2026 01:12

I need the day tomorrow to get over my own shock. Once two of them have gone to school I’ll tell the other two and then wait
for them to come back.

Im having a camomile tea and other cat is lying with me purring on my chest.

I just read that you should “show” your deceased cat to any other cats you have so they understand what has happened. Do you think that’s a good idea? Or rubbish?

OP posts: