When is it time?

[LoisGriffinskitchen]

Sadly 2 weeks ago I lost my much loved 12.5yr old black cat (cancer). I have another cat who is 16yrs 2mths.

Currently she has hyperthyroidism for which she has medication and the beginning of renal failure.

She is struggling to clean herself now and we are washing her paws and tail. She is blind and deaf now but has no issues finding her way round the living room and her water. She also smells chicken at 20 paces and gets to us if we have it.

However we went to the vet last night and she has lost over a kg in weight since the end of November. She went in for a general check and a Solensia injection for her arthritis.
Vet was shocked so she had bloods taken (vet got a swipe because she still has attitude) . Bloods were stable, no sign of a sudden change in health.

We feed her what she likes but I have noticed she now struggles more. She cannot manage dry foods and even Dreamies which she used to hoover up are a struggle. She also has what we call “death breath” as it’s so foul,

If I had my way I’d keep her going forever but am I being selfish?

Currebt plan is not the £800 scan the vet suggests but to try feeding her up and weighing again in four weeks.

Honestly OP, it does sound like it’s time.

Better a week too soon than a day too late. I’m sorry you’re going through this x

I’d want to keep her going forever too. Our vet talked to us about the quality of life when we had no choice but to have one of our precious little cats euthanised. There really was no choice with him because he was in dreadful pain and suffering. Ask your vet’s opinion on this. If they are a good one, they won’t just be exploiting you for your money but will tell you the truth.
If she is not in pain or suffering and you have the time to devote to her care, please do. You might need to soak her dry food in a little warm water and hold her dishes up to her while holding her on your lap. I did this with our elderly cats and washed their faces with a cotton pad after if they couldn’t manage.

THIS
Make her last day with you as good as you can
rather than for ever wishing you had let her go earlier

I’m firmly in the ‘better a little early than a moment too late’ camp.
If she’s losing a lot of weight at her age there’s a problem somewhere.
Give her the last gift of a good ending.

Probably when you feel you need to ask the question

When she nolonger has 3 things she enjoys in life is the general advice. But if she can’t clean herself anymore it’s time.

An often quoted saying on here (by me including other) is better a week too soon than a day too late.

It really sounds like it's time, especially with that much weight loss in a month. I would book her in for a date a week or so away and spend the intervening time spoiling her rotten and planning things like will you have her cremated, do you want the ashes back & if so what type of container for them, book the day off work and the following day, arrange for someone to be with you. That way you know that a) you haven't done the worst thing which is leave it too late, b) you won't be thrown by having to make any decisions on the day and c) making sure her last memories are good ones.

I had to face this with my soul cat 3 years ago when he was only just coming up to 8, and am likely to have to face it with Tobias much earlier than you would expect (coming up for 6 now, could last anything from 6 months to 10 years depending). It hurts so much having to come to that final decision but keep asking yourself how you would feel if she started to clearly suffer and died in discomfort or pain.

Thank you all, she’s getting all the treats she wants. I’ll make an appointment with vet I usually see and have a chat with her, I am prepared to let her go as she’s lived with us since age 3 and been such an amazing cat, so affectionate and loving. I also know we have loved her beyond measure and really looked after her. If I have to let her go it’s in the knowledge that she has had a life well lived.

So sorry you are in this position. Quite a different situation but we had to let our darling girl go in 2024, aged ten - she had intestinal lymphoma and while we could have done chemo with her to buy a little time, we chose to let her go well. The endless trips to the vet for treatment would have been totally miserable for her, she hated the box and the car. We would have been treating her for us, not for her. It was really bloody hard, because her only symptom was vomiting, and right to her last day she was racing around and eating like a horse, but it was only going one way and I couldn’t bear the idea of her suffering in any way. I loved her too much. At the time my DP was working abroad a lot and that played a part too - I didn’t want to end up in a crisis situation, on my own, bringing her to an unfamiliar vet in the middle of the night or similar.

We made an appointment a week away and spoilt her rotten. On the last day the sun shone for her to lie out in it, she had her favourite foods, and she went to sleep with us telling her how much we loved her - it was very gentle, and while I know some would say we went in too soon, we let her go with grace. On the day of the appointment I asked our vet what she would do if it was her cat, would she do the chemo, and she said no, she would let her go. I got the vet to take her paw prints and had one tattooed on my arm 🤍. I had to be taken out a back door because I was in such a mess, and then collecting her ashes a week later a vet nurse had to give me a hug. I suppose they see it all in there. I follow a lot of animal rescues on TikTok and oh, there is such unimaginable cruelty going on - our girl had the absolute best life with us, a cosy house and a big garden, her people who loved her beyond measure, and a peaceful passing before she suffered too much. I think we did right by her in all ways.

We have a little boy cat now who we adopted indecently quickly after we said goodbye to her - he was exactly what I needed to heal my broken heart, even though he’s an absolute trouble maker. I am absolutely certain she popped him up on the Cats Protection website for me. It’s so sad she had to go for him to come here (she hated other cats!) but we have a beautiful framed photo of her in the hearth with her ashes and she keeps an eye on him.

Thank you all, we said a sad but needed goodbye this morning. It was very peaceful and I cuddled her tight to the end. Picture of her last year in the garden,

It sound alike time when they can’t clean themselves my love

so sorry 😔

Sending big hugs OP.
Treasured and loved, lucky girl.

Sorry I didn’t realise you’d decided

well done you on being kind 🥰