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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Taking cat with us to in-laws over Xmas

65 replies

Hypercatalectic · 06/12/2025 10:42

Is this a bad idea? We’re away for Xmas then again for Betwixmas. We’d leave the cat for Xmas Eve to Boxing Day and our neighbour will pop in to do food and have a play (where we’re going have dogs).
Then we’re away again for a few days until New Year and we thought we’d take the cat with us. It’s about a 3.5 hour drive each way. The house is quiet, she’s 2yo, a majority-indoor cat and we’d take her litter trays, igloo etc.

Would this be a mean thing to do, would it likely stress her out? Is it always the best thing to leave them in situ and get people to come to them?

OP posts:
Hypercatalectic · 06/12/2025 15:29

Cebello · 06/12/2025 13:27

Cats are territorial animals, unlike dogs who are pack animals. This is why dogs don’t generally mind where they are just as long as they are with their pack. Cats on the other hand really do mind where they are. I also think a 3.5 hour journey would be incredibly stressful for a cat.

Perfectly explained, thank you. It sounds like travelling cats are the exception and I really wouldn’t want her running out of the house and not knowing where she was.

Glad I asked before I asked! 😆 Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Leeds157 · 06/12/2025 15:51

You could take your cat in the car around the block to see how it gets on? I’ve had 3 cats in total in my life so far and two of them start panting after 10 mins in the car, and cats don’t pant, so it’s a sign of being very stressed. By contract my friend moved from Essex to Leeds and his cats were fine with the car journey, while one of mine needed oxygen following a 15 min drive to the vet. So, worth testing where the land lies in small doses

LlynTegid · 06/12/2025 15:52

No is a complete sentence for this one.

Vodkamartini3olives · 06/12/2025 18:45

No,.my cats would hate that. We leave them for up to 3 days. They have auto feeders and water fountains and self cleaning Littler trays. I don't think they miss us at all.

ComfortFoodCafe · 06/12/2025 18:53

I did this once. Never again. She hid for the entire stay and swiped my nieces hands off due to stress when she’s usually really gentle!

OldBeyondMyYears · 06/12/2025 19:11

I used to take mine with me when I went to stay with my family. He was absolutely fine (like your journey, it was around 3.5 hours). He was a very sociable cat though…so I guess it depends on the temperament of yours OP.

thecatneuterer · 06/12/2025 19:42

Always better to leave them where they are. They cope far better with being left alone than they do with the stress of travel and a new environment.

Toddlerteaplease · 06/12/2025 21:01

I take my cat to my parents house. We have the master bedroom and en-suite on the top floor so loads of space. She travels very well, and has an isofix carrier. She has a great time, she adores my mum! I wouldn’t do it unless the house was 100% escape proof for her. The first time we did it I was fully prepared to come home early if she wasn’t coping. But she was fine. I know full well that I’m demoted to spare human when my mum is around!

Kittkats · 06/12/2025 21:06

My two would be fine. They travel well and have no objections to new places. Being looked after at home by someone new would be a no for them: even with DD home they stop grooming properly if I’m away.

Buffypaws · 06/12/2025 21:19

My cats come with me to my parents’ house all the time for a day or for a few days at Christmas. They are ragdolls though

Gettingbysomehow · 06/12/2025 21:22

Cats hate this. They need their own routine at home. I get a pet sitter to come in everyday usually and set the heating to go on and off.
I have to put them both in a cattery in May while I go in for surgery as Ill be gone for 10 days and the old one needs injections, they will hate every minute of it.

Ddakji · 06/12/2025 21:26

I would get some timers and use the timers (which are usually for 48 hours) over Christmas and see if a neighbour can come in for the longer time your away later.

YABVVVVVVVU to use the hideous term Betwixmas which I have never heard before and hope never to hear again 🤣.

GreenCandleWax · 06/12/2025 21:30

Hypercatalectic · 06/12/2025 11:44

Not yet, wanted to gauge if it’s a good idea or not first.
It sounds like the car journey might be a bit much. She’s quite a laid back cat and we have a harness for her… Never done it before though, so hard to know how she would react to it all!

Hang on! You are actually thinking of taking a cat to your in-laws house and they don't even know? That is extremely arrogant, imo, For the cat it would also be a disaster, so an absolute No from me 😮on both counts.

gamerchick · 06/12/2025 21:33

What is she like in the car though? Mine yowls the song of her people in a 10 minute journey.

tragichero · 07/12/2025 00:25

Totally depends on the cat.

My brother and his partner live separately and his cats go with him when he goes to stay with her. (He only has one cat at a time - I was referring to his late cat, and his current one). He has also taken them to stay at my parents' - basically if he is travelling in the UK and staying in the home of a person he knows, his cat goes too.

Both cats have been absolutely fine with it - seemed to thrive on it in fact. Both were/are unusually docile and amenable cats - in fact his current cat is half rag-doll, and he researched and picked this breed knowing they are known for their easy, biddable nature. (He told me so, anyway - happy to stand corrected by any rag-doll experts).

My new cat, a mere mog but perfect in my eyes, is easily the most docile cat I have ever owned, so I am thinking of getting her used to coming with me to my parents' house - they only live nearby, but as dad has dementia and requires round the clock care, I am there an awful lot, and it would be better for me AND the cat if she could join me - I am also thinking that she would be good therapy for my mom and dad, due to her super-sweet nature.

Bascially, you know your cat best. But it's not the impossible idea I used to think it was before my brother started doing it with his first cat. I guess you need to take an honest judgement on whether your cat is more bonded to their home or to you - this is different for all cats.

I would only do it if I thought the cat would genuinely be happier to be with me, even in a new place. I think my new one would, other cats I have owned much less so.

Hypercatalectic · 07/12/2025 06:16

GreenCandleWax · 06/12/2025 21:30

Hang on! You are actually thinking of taking a cat to your in-laws house and they don't even know? That is extremely arrogant, imo, For the cat it would also be a disaster, so an absolute No from me 😮on both counts.

I was clear that I was asking here BEFORE asking them, to see if it was even something worth considering. Of course I wasn’t going to just turn up with our cat in tow, I’m not an idiot, just someone asking people who know a bit more about it than I do for their take on it.

And I’m glad I did, I’ve learned a lot and enjoyed reading about people’s relationships with their cats. Kind of what this forum is for?

edited for typos

OP posts:
Silverbirchleaf · 07/12/2025 07:04

What do the hosts say?

Hypercatalectic · 07/12/2025 07:58

Silverbirchleaf · 07/12/2025 07:04

What do the hosts say?

See my post literally just above yours

OP posts:
OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 07/12/2025 08:08

I have often taken my cat to my parents house over new year. Never been a problem. I guess with cats they will either saunter around like they own the place or higher under a bed for 3 days. Drive isn't great, but he copes.

ShabbySheek · 07/12/2025 08:19

We did this about 10 years ago with our cat. She didn't love the 2.5 journey, but survived with a bit of meowing. Our in laws didn't have a cat at the time but were "cat people", so we had no worries there.
Also it was just the 4 of us in the house, so very easy to ensure cat was safe inside. She was a little nervous at first but soon started exploring. She curled up on the sofa with us and I think enjoyed being with us rather than apart.

WhiskyandWater · 07/12/2025 08:31

Late DCat always travelled with us to my parents and was quite happy, she sat on my knee in the car (harness strapped to the seatbelt) and loved it. Current two are also happy to travel there, it’s 200 miles so 5 hrs if the traffic isn’t great. They are fine, they curl up together in a big carrier and we have a strict door shut system at my parents so they are safe. If there is any doubt that visitors will respect this the cats are locked in the conservatory.
Not all cats hate it, they have different personalities. Mine pine if I am away so when I can it’s better to bring them with me.

ACynicalDad · 07/12/2025 08:32

What happens if someone leaves a door open and cat gets out in a strange area?

NigellaAwesome · 07/12/2025 08:59

We have started bringing ours to our holiday home. She manages 1hr 15 journey, but with a fair bit of mieowing. We line the cat carrier with towels for toilet accidents.

once here she is very content, in fact she is currently sleeping tucked under my arm in bed!

I doubt she would survive a 3.5hr journey though

Fleurchamp · 07/12/2025 09:00

We take our house cat to my MIL's house - it is 1.5hrs away. We do it 3/4 times a year.

The worst bit is the car journey but we seem to have sorted that out with her igloo and a harness so she doesn't have to go in her carrier. Wouldn't say she is entirely happy with the journey though and I think 1.5hrs is her limit.

SpookedMackerel · 07/12/2025 09:04

This would not work for our cat at all, but I’m very much enjoying reading about everyone else’s intrepid and sociable cats!

Ours needs to stay at home and have her preferred cat sitter come in (she hides from all the others we have tried).

Even then, she will get a bit stressed if she sees signs of imminent departure like suitcases appearing, and go and hide somewhere inaccessible. (Our friends’ cat hid inside their sofa shortly before they planned to leave for the airport, via the cattery. They had to take a saw to it in the end, and take a late flight).

Getting cat into the carrier is a massive performance involving at least two people. We have to start trying to catch her at least half an hour before we are due at the vet to ensure we don’t miss our appointment. It’s the only time we use the carrier, so she would think we were going to the vet - which she absolutely loathes - so the journey would start on the wrong footing.

I’m sure she would wail mournfully for the whole journey. I’d worry she might manage to break out of the carrier through sheer determination. I’m usually a bit worried about that on the two minute drive to the vet, let alone a 2.5 hour journey. She certainly wouldn’t sit nicely on anyone’s knee - she doesn’t even do that much at home!

She would be furious with us, and absolutely terrified when we arrived, and this would probably translate into hiding somewhere unhelpful like behind the washing machine or under a floorboard or something, and refusing to come out or eat for the whole trip.

She can open doors by jumping on the handle, so I’d be constantly worried about her escaping.

Then we’d have to do the whole ridiculous shebang in reverse to go home. Possibly starting by dismantling the whole kitchen of our long-suffering hosts to get at her hiding place.

Cat sitter all the way for me!

The cat shows a bit of vocal displeasure when we get home from holiday, but it’s usually all forgiven after a peace offering of a bowl of food and some contrite strokes.