Foster cat got adopted today

[Catt1sh]

She got picked up 50 minutes ago and I haven’t stopped crying. I can’t go upstairs because she isn’t there and it’s breaking my heart. All of her toys and bed are there and I can’t bring myself to move them but seeing them is making me so sad.

I know this is a happy situation, and I am so happy for her. But I am first of all worrying about her because she was so scared when I put her in her crate and handed her over, she hid under her blankets. Even though she’s going to a brilliant home and will have a great life, she doesn’t know that in this moment and right now is feeling scared, stressed and confused. And I hate knowing that she’s feeling like that.

Also I will miss her so much. I don’t think I can do this again. It’s my first foster and I feel genuine grief right now. Has anyone fostered before and felt like this? Or can anyone just offer a hand hold and some nice words? 😭

Oh love! I fostered for years and the first one will absolutely break your heart. It's genuine grief. I genuinely considered running away with our first foster cat - moving to France and not leaving a forwarding address. But we went on and fostered lots more (60 over 5 years) and while it's always bittersweet when they go, they make their new families so happy.

You've done a brilliant thing. Don't be cross with yourself for feeling sad - you looked after her so well because you love her and that love hasn't got a purpose today. But if you'll consider fostering another, you'll have that purpose again.

Thank you ❤️ I feel like I have abandoned her. I know I haven’t but she doesn’t know that. For her it’s no different to if she was my cat and I just gave her up. I hope she will be happy in her new home

She will be happy. One thing that helped me was that some of our fosterees were adopted by our extended family/friends and so I have watched them over 10+ years as they've thrived. We become a very small part of their lives, but an important one.

Oh what a little beauty. ♥️ Your post brought tears to my eyes. Be proud of yourself for caring for her then sending her on to a lovely new home. Sending you hugs.

My Cats Protection Fosterer got in touch with me a few days later to ask me how the cat was settling in at mine, so if you get the chance to contact her that might help? We are on WhatsApp so I could send her pics if she wants. I adopted during Covid so dont know if things are the same nowadays

Well done for fostering, you've helped that gorgeous girl when she most needed it and sent her off to her forever home. The first is the worst but it does get easier I promise, although saying that I have tears before the adoption then it's deep breath, tidy up and getting ready to help the next one.

Hopefully you can get an update from her new people.

Thank you for helping. 💕

I feel your pain OP, I have fostering a go recently and although I only had the cats two weeks and I’d never be able to keep them, I cried all afternoon when they left! It’s not for me but I did cement that I definitely wanted my own cats and they fit with my lifestyle. You did an amazing thing, be kind to yourself.

Beautiful cat. I too would’ve been so sad to let her go, not for me but for the bewilderment she must be feeling. She’ll be ok ❤️

All of her toys and bed are there and I can’t bring myself to move them but seeing them is making me so sad.

Would they not let her take a few of her toys with her? I would have thought that having some already scent marked toys would have helped her settle into her new home.

It would break my heart, too. She has a lovely face. You did a good thing.

Cat fostering is such an essential role right now - all the rescues near us are full to bursting, and i assume that's the case everywhere else too. Well done for getting involved to help. We adopted a couple of cats earlier this year, and I'm still in touch with the fosterer every now and then to provide photos and updates. Know that you did a great job by providing a lovely home for her when she needed it most, and any uncertainty she will be feeling at the moment will fade. We're three months in with our two and, after an uncertain start, they absolutely rule the roost now!

Awww OP 💗💗 you've done an amazing thing that few people offer to do. I also foster and the 1st one is heart-breaking. We still talk about him now - lovely one-eyed ginger floof Main Coon boy Phoenix. My son wanted to keep him. I've been fostering now for 2.5 years and I think I'm on cat number 60 right now. Some are harder than others but I have foster-failed 2 cats that live downstairs with us and I still contine to foster upstairs in my house/spare room. The kittens are the hardest as they are so affectionate and friendly. My last lot I had for 3 months as they were black kittens and not popular. Adorable pair. I get to videocall then meet prospective owners tho and the lady who runs the charity gives me the last say in whether the family tick the boxes. One lady wanted to break up a bonded pair of young kittens earlier this year thst were born in my house as she wanted to choose the colours of the kittens she wanted - ie the prettiest 2 colours. She was sent on her way as it's not a pick and mix counter. You're doing an amazing thing. I often message the new owners in the first couple of weeks asking how they are settling in. I get the odd update out of the blue from families who adopted one of my cats 12 months ago. It's so lovely seeing how well they have settled in 💗💗 makes it all worthwhile. Fostering is a lot of hard work - not just sitting around cuddling cats. I've done plenty of crack of dawn vet trips to get young cats neutered at far away vets and having new owners round to my house at weekends for an hour at a time etc. It all cuts into my family time but I'm happy to do it as there are so many stray and abandoned cats in genuine need. Stay strong & hopefully you'll get another lovely foster cat very soon. I usually get 48 hours between mine which just about gives me time to thoroughly clean the foster room plus do mountains of cat bedding washing plus vacuuming. Hard work but very worthwhile. In Jan this year 2 pregnant strays I fostered gave birth to 8 kittens between them only 24 hours apart in my spare room so that was an AMAZING experience as I fostered all 10 of them for 3-4 months (it was crazy but fun). Only fostering would give my family this once in a lifetime experience really and my kids especially was amazing helping me pop eyedrops in tiny newborn kittens. I've also been a vet nurse but I've still learned far more about cat behaviour from fostering than I ever did at the vets. It's a truly unique experience and we don't get enough credit for how hard we work to help socialise/rehabilitate some of the trickier cats. So I'm blowing my own trumpet as no one else will!🤣👏💗

Yes I put a couple of her little mice toys in there with her. But she has so many toys, they are all over the place lol. I offered her bed as well but they said no as they were very excited to go and do their own shop and buy everything new for her. So her bed is still here 😔

Thank you for your comment 💕 Your set up is the same as mine was. The foster cat lived upstairs, and my two cats stayed downstairs. However, I found this really difficult splitting my time. All three cats wanted my attention at the same time. If I was upstairs, I felt bad on my two on their own. And when I was with mine, I could hear foster girl meowing. She really wanted to come down. I am happy that she will have a full house to herself now. I found that bit stressful, especially because all three cats are young and playful. So I had to rotate myself between upstairs and downstairs playing with wand toys and things are it was quite tiring lol. Maybe will foster older cats in the future that are a bit more chilled

Aww, I’m a cat fosterer and it gets easier the more you do it. My first two girls were hard work so when they we rehomed there was an element of relief. I then took a litter of kittens in, one of them we kept, but the other two were rehomed - it was one of these that had absolutely stolen my heart, we couldn’t have kept her as where we lived at the time wasn’t safe to be outside (hence why we fostered in the first instance) and she was so desperate to go and explore. She moved to a small holding so is for sure living a much better life than I could have offered her. Her brother, who we kept, is such a home boy. He just likes to be carried around like a baby most of the time. He has been a great foster brother to all the others that have followed. I currently have 10! Two failed fosters, two long term fosters and a litter of farm kittens who arrived about a month ago and still have a long journey ahead of them before they can be adopted. It’s so rewarding though. I hope you find the courage to do it again. But for now, absolutely grieve your loss and well done for doing it in the first place.

She will always remember you!!

please dont give up on this ❤

I feel for you. I was working abroad a few years ago and took in a pregnant stray cat until I could find a suitable home/long term care for her. She ended up having her 4 beautiful kittens whilst she was with me. Saying goodbye was so difficult but I knew it was for the best.

You did an amazing thing and helped show her humans can love her and she can trust them. The world needs more people like you. I think it's always hard to say goodbye but the joy from helping them outweighs it. Sending hugs.

I foster cats and am also too emotional when it comes to parting with them. I understand and hear you. We need more people like you in the world.

Oh she’s lovely. She will take a few days to settle into her new home and will be absolutely fine. I moved house with my cat (first cat) who I got 2.5 years ago after divorce and in the new house she hid for a couple of days, then came out and now rules the place as she should.

Yes absolutely this! I spend a lot of time upstairs but I definitely feel bad when im watching TV downstairs in the evenings with my own cats on my knee etc. All year I've only had pairs or groups of kittens so this is my first foster cat of the year who is a solo young adult cat (18 months old) I've had her 9 days now and I do feel sorry for her shut away in the foster room overnight on her own but she gets the run of the upstairs plus loft room all day. My DH, works from home in the loft so during the week she has him for company 9-5 so that makes me feel happier. I think this kitty was a stray so I just have to remind myself that being in my nice warm house with plenty of food, safe and sound and off the streets with lots of attention from us and tons of toys is infinitely better for her. Hopefully she'll get some interest and a home offer soon 👏💗🤞 & like you said, your lovely foster kitty now has the whole house to explore and a lovely new family to spend time with. It can be very emotional fostering though. We only want the best homes for our cats after all as obviously we get very attached to them

Just as the flip side, we adopted our boy from Cats Protection. We had just lost our lovely girl cat, and when I saw him on the website it felt like she had popped him up there for me to see. After being approved I went to meet him in foster care, and honestly I have so much gratitude to the lady for keeping him safe there until he could come home - he had been a wee stray kitten born in a woman’s shed. He was obviously unsettled and frightened when he came here (although we did get toys, his litter tray and his blanket) but he absolutely blossomed and we love him so much - he has an amazing life with us. He is king of this house, has a big garden to play in, and just acquired a Jellycat knock-off pig in blanket toy I bought to sit on the mantelpiece and he immediately stole before I even had the tags off it! (They are off now.)

It’s coming up to two years and I still send wee updates to the CP main person on eg his birthday, his adoption anniversary, will do again at Christmas, which she shares with his foster carer and the lady who brought him here.

I follow a lady on TikTok who fosters and rehabilitates “medical dogs” in the US. Every dog, people are desperate for her to keep it because they fall in love with the dog and the whole “journey” through sick and scared to thriving. She lets them go to make space for the next one 🤍

I used to rescue and rehome. One kitten stole my heart in particular. Found him a lovely family, did a home check etc. On the day they collected the kitten, I was in such a state when my dh came home later, that he thought the cat must have died 😳 ..... it's not as if I didnt have 4 cats of my own at the time 😅

Big hugs.

I’ve fostered cats and kittens for many years, and I’ve cried my eyes out so many times. It upsets me that the cat will think I’ve rejected them and that I’m no better than their previous owner who neglected them or threw them out onto the streets. They don’t know that I do it to help them and others. It does help if I know they’ve gone to a lovely new home. Take a few days off, wash the blankets etc, then help another cat. Good luck and thank you for caring.

Thank you so much everyone! Although it’s horrible, it’s nice to know I am not alone and that this feeling is very normal

I'm a failed cat fosterer for a local rescue, we cared for lots over several years but had to stop when the unhomable ones reached 5 as I just couldn't keep any more (and these 5 permanent residents are a ragtag lot)! At first I was sad to see the fosters go, but the homes were always great (and I had the final say) and it meant I had room to take the next one/s. The trick is never to have a gap as the next little soul will need you just as much as the last one and you'll make a huge difference to that life too. I didn't keep mine separate from the fosters as the frightened new ones took a lot of comfort from the oldies, looking back I should have been more aware of potential infections but we were lucky

On the other side… I rescued a boy who had been in the rescue so long (6months+) with lots of issues that the manager had been desperate to take him home herself. Sadly for her he was terrified of her dog so it wasn’t right for him. She told me she cried when she read my email explaining what we could offer him (very specific circumstances that matched what he needed).

Honestly, I’m so grateful to her. She rescued a very complex cat that others might have given up on but he is my soul cat. He is the perfect companion for DCat1 and has helped him with his behavioural issues. I have autism and some really hard days and he comes and lays on me to relax me, licks the tears off my face and creeps into bed to cuddle me when I wake up in the night. He’s a complete love bug and we’re both happiest when attached to each other- he rides around on my shoulder and gets held like a baby. She gave him so much and was so amazing, but he was always meant to be part of our family. I do send her photos and updates occasionally because she was such an important of him coming home to me!

Your first foster girl is gorgeous but you have done a wonderful thing for both her and her new family. The love you gave her will enable her to be a beloved family member for someone and you should be very proud of both her and you- you’ve given her the start she needed to live a happy life in a home!