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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

My cat has rehomed herself but we’re moving house

40 replies

rainbowsinheaven · 22/11/2025 18:28

7 years ago I got a cat. About 3 years ago she stopped coming home very often, she hasn’t actually now been back to my House for over 2 years but I see her in the village, she’s safe, fat and clearly been fed by other people if not living with other people. If we walk the dog and carry her home when we see her she will come back, eat then leave again. We’ve tried and tried to get her to stay but she won’t.
We are now moving out of the village. Would you take her or leave her? My son will still go school in village so we will see her.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 22/11/2025 18:29

Take her!

Hohofortherobbers · 22/11/2025 18:31

Of course you take her, what if she got sick? You don't know if the feeders will treat her

Arlanymor · 22/11/2025 18:32

I would take her - presumably she's chipped to you? Unless you know she is living with someone else, then you can't rely on the charity of strangers in the long-term, particularly as she gets older.

Talltreesbythelake · 22/11/2025 18:32

Attach a message to her collar asking her 'Mum' to phone you to officially change over the microchip?

PodMom · 22/11/2025 18:33

Don’t just take her without finding out where she is normally. If it’s a village ask about and find out where she’s living! Put something on fb and talk to the people. Otherwise they’d worry about her. Plus if they’re happy to have her officially and will care for her I’d leave her. She’s obviously happier somewhere else.

Ghostsghoulsteenagers · 22/11/2025 18:33

Do you have a local Facebook or what’s app - you could try and figure out who is looking after her and have the conversation

tsmainsqueeze · 22/11/2025 18:34

If she is happier elsewhere then i would try and find out where that is and if she has another 'home' i would explain i was moving house and if her other 'owners' want to keep her then i would offer to pay her future vets bills.
If she doesn't have a permanent other home and is just being fed by multiple people then i would take her with me .

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 22/11/2025 18:35

😂 Frigin cat. So she found someone with nicer cat food and went after them instead. Cats! 🧐If it's any help, I have an older cat that loves visiting, he accepts food at other houses but will come home to us if hes short food or needs to sleep. I think what will guide you is if he sleeps at your house at least 3 nights a week. Her wandering could be a sign that she's really secure in herself too. That she knows where ye are if needs be. I would go with, if she's sleeping at your house a few nights a week, take her

rainbowsinheaven · 22/11/2025 18:38

@tsmainsqueeze- she hasn’t slept at my house in over 2 years! She doesn’t even come to the house unless we carry her home then she’ll eat and meow to be out!

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 22/11/2025 18:39

She’s your cat so take her. Presumably you have complied with the law and she is microchipped with your details so if she gets lost when you move, she can be returned.

PodMom · 22/11/2025 18:49

rainbowsinheaven · 22/11/2025 18:38

@tsmainsqueeze- she hasn’t slept at my house in over 2 years! She doesn’t even come to the house unless we carry her home then she’ll eat and meow to be out!

Have you tried not letting her out and keeping her in for a few eeeks and then seeing if she stays? She must have a home somewhere else if she’s not coming back in cold weather.

Allseeingallknowing · 22/11/2025 18:52

rainbowsinheaven · 22/11/2025 18:38

@tsmainsqueeze- she hasn’t slept at my house in over 2 years! She doesn’t even come to the house unless we carry her home then she’ll eat and meow to be out!

So, if she’s ill or injured you’ll pay the bills

bbwbwka · 22/11/2025 18:52

I would leave her. She is clearly living with someone.

FurForksSake · 22/11/2025 18:53

You need to ask who is feeding the cat and if they are living somewhere. If they are it would be crushingly unfair to take the cat and go for both parties.

If she’s living out but being fed I think you’ve either got to rehome or take her. You can’t leave her stray.

ThePure · 22/11/2025 19:06

In 2 years did you never try to find out where she was living/ who was feeding her?? It doesn’t suggest you care very much. She is still officially your responsibility though so you need to find out who is looking out for her and if they wish to become her official owner. Just upping and leaving her is irresponsible.

JudgeBread · 22/11/2025 19:07

Is she not micro chipped? At minimum you should put a note on her collar to find out who has been looking after her for 2 years so you can switch the microchip to them.

StruggleFlourish · 22/11/2025 19:07

I would NEVER advocate for abandoning an animal, NEVER, but in this situation, I think finding the cat and confining her and bringing her with you might actually be the least kind thing

You said that the cat has not been back to your house in 2 years? That is a very long time. Even when it's raining, even when it's cold?
I think it's very likely that someone else has been feeding her, giving her shelter, that she's got a second or maybe even third house. This is relatively common with outdoor or indoor outdoor cats.

We had a cat come by, I noticed he was around ridiculously early in the morning, I noticed he was out super late at night, and all the hours in between, that he seemed friendly not feral, and seem to be well socialized, but was always hanging around our place. I've known of quite a few cats who the owners moved away and didn't bring the cats with them, and I thought maybe that's what was happening, so I provided this cat with food and water and attention, a safe outdoor place to be... But we didn't take the final step of capturing him, bringing him to the vets etc.
I ended up finding out that he actually does have a home!

I put a collar on the cat, a breakaway reflective one cuz I figured if he's going to be out during all hours, it would help if he could be more visible to cars, and he came back to my place with a note attached to the collar that said that he had a home, it gave the address and a phone number. So I phoned them, turns out they're at the other end of the block, a nice young couple who moved in about a year ago, they were trying to keep the cat indoors for his safety but he really insisted on going out, so they would let him out during the day while they both worked, but the cat just didn't want to come back / go inside. Occasionally yes, he'd show up at the back door and they'd let him in and he'd stay for a while but he wanted to be away more than he wanted to be home. (I think they said that they also had recently adopted a dog, if I recall correctly and that could be why the cat didn't want to spend as much time at home)

Anyway, so I did feel better knowing that this cat did have a home and the people did care about him, the cat just didn't want to be there. There was no evidence that he was being abused or mistreated in any way, and we ended up sharing the cat. Not in any formal agreement, just that they had my contact and they knew where I was, and I had their contact and I knew where they were.
Technically it was their cat, so any veterinary things that needed doing was on them, but because I worked from home, I had more time and attention to give the cat.

He would often follow me for a couple of blocks when I walked the dog, he would keep me company when I worked outside, and one time he came to me meowing and meowing and meowing and it turns out that had been sprayed by a skunk, and I thought oh dear that's got to be awfully uncomfortable for him, so I washed him...(Enzymatic cleaner) And gave him some care, even though he wasn't my cat, that's just the way it went.

And the purpose of this big old story was that sometimes you can have a animal who you care about and you do want it to stay home but circumstances are what they are and animals once they get outside well, they do what they want, and this cat just didn't want to be home. And possibly your cat even though it started off as being your cat, has found another place to be too. Nothing personal. Just happens.

But, if you have any microchip in the cat or anything like that, you better make sure that's removed from your account. That can actually prevent someone else who wants to take care of the cat from being able to give it medical treatment. If the vet scans the cat finds a microchip and sees it's got somebody else's name they aren't able to treat the cat without consent.

Also, this may not be possible, but if you try to figure out who's been giving that cat a home? I don't know if it's possible for you to print a few flyers up and put them in areas that might have the best chance of being seen or if your community has any type of neighborhood Facebook page or anything like that? Basically just tell your story. It's very possible that someone out there has been taking care of the cat and they would love to know what's going on.

My only concern is that if you manage to find where the cat is staying during the day, kidnap her (I know she's legally yours if you have any type of ownership documents but she hasn't been by in 2 years) and take her to a brand new location, that could be quite traumatic for the cat. The cat might even try to find her way back to what she considers to be her home which of course is quite dangerous cuz she might have to travel a long distance through completely unknown territory.
That would be my main concern. That and if somebody else had been taken care of the cat and all of a sudden the cat disappears, it's going to be very awful for those people because they're going to think something terrible has happened to the cat like it got hit by a car or something.

That's all I can advise, hope it helps.
It's very caring of you that even though you haven't seen the cat in 2 years at your home, that you still are concerned for its welfare even in the middle of a move and I'm sure you've got all these other things to think about. That's very kind of you. I hope it all works out.

ThePure · 22/11/2025 19:08

take her home and air tag her collar/ some other tracker thing and find out where she goes (or low tech just follow her/ ask around)

WFHforevermore · 22/11/2025 19:09

In 2 years you havent tried to find out where she goes?

Sounds like you dont want her and she knows.

Hoppinggreen · 22/11/2025 19:11

One of our neighbours cat moved in with a different neighbour when their owner had a baby. When the first owner was moving they spok to the 2nd ownr and checked that they were definitely wanted to keep the cat
In your shoes I would try and track down where the cat is living now and if you can't or are not sure the cat will be well looked after then take it with you

user90276865197 · 22/11/2025 19:12

I think if its been two years, she’s officially moved out!
Try and find who she has moved in with and check they’re happy to take her on. You’d risk her running away if you take her, and then she will be in a strange area lost and properly homeless.

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 22/11/2025 19:22

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 22/11/2025 18:35

😂 Frigin cat. So she found someone with nicer cat food and went after them instead. Cats! 🧐If it's any help, I have an older cat that loves visiting, he accepts food at other houses but will come home to us if hes short food or needs to sleep. I think what will guide you is if he sleeps at your house at least 3 nights a week. Her wandering could be a sign that she's really secure in herself too. That she knows where ye are if needs be. I would go with, if she's sleeping at your house a few nights a week, take her

Edited

Ok. 2 years is a long time alright. If your son is going to school in the village anyway, you could leave her. You could call down to your old house occasionally to see how she is. On the other hand, if you would prefer to take her, then do! You could give her Sheba for awhile and then wean her down over time. She's obviously happy doing her own thing at the moment. If you have something that seems more exciting to her, she could be more likely to stay. Or a quiet cozy place in the house maybe

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 22/11/2025 19:25

Sorry OP. I meant to quote you 🫣

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/11/2025 19:40

You put up a Facebook post in your local residents group and see if anyone has been feeding/housing her. If someone steps forward you can tell them you are moving away and see if they want to take on her care full time. If no one comes forward then take her with you and make sure she stays inside in the new home for at least two weeks.

butterycroissants · 23/11/2025 07:33

It doesn’t sound like you care for her very much if you’ve just left her to live elsewhere for two years, so she’ll probably be better off with her new family.