Foster cat hitting and biting me

[Avocad1sh]

We have had our foster cat for a week, she was described as “sassy and spicy” but I actually can’t relax around her because she is constantly hitting me and biting me.

We spent the first 4 days keeping her confined the the spare room but she was so confident as soon as we got her, and not at all scared or hiding etc and every time we opened the door she would try and run out. Over the past few days we have been letting her venture into the other bedroom a little bit.

For the first few days I didn’t know what they meant by describing her as sassy and spicy because she was just acting sweet and loving and playful. She would occasionally slap us but that’s fine. Over the last few days she does this in every interaction that we have with her. Whether I’m stroking her or playing with her or just sat on my phone ignoring her. Her claws don’t come out but she hits hard. She has been slapping my head, my face, my arms, my back. She bites my arms but not hard. I don’t know why.

A couple of times today she has been vocal before hitting me really hard. She opens her mouth and shouts and then lunges forwards and I’m getting a bit scared of her now. I can’t predict it, it’s unprovoked, and it’s also all of the time. There hasn’t been a single interaction with her over the past 3 days where she hasn’t done this. I can’t see her ever being adopted with this behaviour, no one would want a pet like this that you can't relax around. Does anyone know anything about cat behaviour and know why she might be doing this? I am really feeling down

I adopted a cat like that! The rescue were absolutely up front about her, she was semi-feral when trapped, and I wanted a tricky cat. She's been with me 4 years now.

I have to be on alert as she just loves biting. And hitting me in the face. And shouting at me. But she's a sweet snuggly and funny little thing as well as being a honey badger in cat form.

Things that helped in the early days were having little pots of treats dotted around the house that we could shake to distract her. Lots of chewable and dental toys for redirecting the biting. Never reacting beyond removing whichever body part she was trying to bite and calmly stating 'no biting' (not expecting her to learn what this means but more to have a fixed learned calm response). Throwing ping pong balls is also a good distractor. Not using fishing rod or laser toys as they're over stimulating and she quickly learned that our hands were in control (her eyes would track from the toy up the string, along the rod and then she'd leap at the hand controlling it). Also just learning triggers, eg she'd react if stroked from above. She's been utterly toy obsessed from the start which helped a lot. And she likes to be talked to a lot. If yours is food motivated then try puzzle feeders to keep her busy (mine isn't).

This is really helpful, thank you! You mentioned that yours is sweet and snuggly, that’s the same with this cat, she brushes up against us and purrs and loves a head and chin scratch. She curls up in our laps to sleep. But she also just won’t stop hitting and biting. DP isn’t bothered as he says she isn’t doing it aggressively but I don’t quite understand the behaviour and can’t ever relax, her hits can be very powerful and it’s just generally an unwanted behaviour. Every now and then is fine but it’s every time she comes near us. And there doesn’t seem to be a trigger.

she sounds a lot like your cat as she isn’t food motivated either at all. But she really does love to play. I will give some of the things you suggested a try, thank you.

Have the rescue you fostered for had any advice?

Is she a tortie?

Could you maybe watch a few Jackson Galaxy vids on YouTube - the dreadfully named ‘my cat from hell’ series. I know he’s a divisive figure for cat people but I do think he has a lot of good ideas for behavioural issues. If she’s not using her claws to attack (which is good!) and does snuggle up sometimes, it sounds like she might just have surplus energy she needs to work off. So you’d need to try her out with a range of toys to see what gives her a physical workout. JG recommends doing that before feeding them, just a short 5-mins play session, then they get their food. That mirrors the way they would hunt in the wild and then eat their prey.
An alternative might be to try a Feliway diffuser in her main room - that calms down some cats. Was she used to going out before she got rescued? Outdoor cats get really frustrated by being forced to stay indoors.
And while it’s not nice getting thumped by a cat, it would be a lot worse if she got going with her claws and deep bites, like our boy occasionally does when he gets overstimulated.

She plays all the time, she is extremely energetic and playful so i do play with her a lot. She has been in rescue since she was 3 months old and she is almost 3 years old now. So she’s never lived in a home before, we are keeping her in the spare room, we did let her out and even though she ran around and was exploring she also seemed a little unsettled and overwhelmed so we are still keeping her mostly in the spare room. It’s only been a week.

I will try some of the suggestions, it’s just that she slaps and bites in all kids of situations. Not just when she’s excited or overstimulated. It’s like that’s her only way of communication? Because whatever it is she wants… she will slap you lol. If she wants strokes, if she wants play, if she wants you to go away. You can be doing absolutely nothing and she will come up and hit you, or you could be in the middle or playing/stroking her and again she’ll slap you about. So I just don’t really know the reason or the trigger which makes it tricky

I am going to contact them to ask for advice. All of the foster carers are in a WhatsApp group as well so I will ask for advice on there too

It really is very early days, and it sounds like she's doing exceptionally well if she's been in rescue that long.

My suspicion with mine is that she was removed from her litter too soon and never learned bite inhibition, and whilst she will swipe and bite properly if she feels threatened, mostly she just really likes biting and reminds me of a puppy doing all her exploring with her mouth! She's chewed up cardboard boxes, tries to bite rugs and carpet, my sheepskin slippers, and has tried to bite chair legs. She likes carrying small toys around in her mouth - Molly's Mice are a favourite (and all cotton/catnip so no real risk if she swallows a bit).

Yes I also described her biting as like puppy mouthing to the rescue when I told them what she was doing. The biting isn’t the worst part though because that doesn’t hurt, even though her claws don’t come out she can still throw a powerful punch 😂

You’re right it’s extremely early days! I am starting to get a bit scared of her because yesterday she was vocal with it twice. She opened her mouth for a few seconds and then shouted and then lunged forward to hit me which I feel was a bit more aggressive than her usual slaps.

I had a foster cat like this too. Except she used her claws and teeth! She was very pretty, so popular with potential adopters, but every person that came to view her was put off by the aggressive behaviour. She was so sweet and wanted affection but would instantly turn. She was adopted in the end and I was relieved.

I found with cats that had never lived in a home, that they initially found it overwhelming, but once used to it they absolutely blossomed. It’s a huge adjustment for them. She may settle down in time.

This feels very familiar. Marvin our Mau boy also spent quite a long time in a rescue environment and is also quite scratchy / bitey. It seems to be his primary form of communication, but can be quite scary as he does use his claws. A lot of the suggestions here have helped, so we give him lots of play time, try and avoid over stimulating him, but I'm afraid a calm no biting / scratching request is beyond me as he hurts! Instead I make an ow noise loudly and tell him no. He is starting to understand/ respond to that and I can see him sometimes physically trying to suppress the urge to slash me when he's excited, so I'm hoping that he will calm down as he settles into his new environment.

I've had a couple of cats with similar behaviour. One I absolutely adored, he could do no wrong and was the sweetest cat I've ever known. Hed never learned bite inhibition and it was his way of communicating, he never hit though.

The other was a rescue who both hit and occasionally bit. His thumps never involved claws but were pretty powerful. He'd been badly mistreated before and was traumatised as a result.

You've already had lots of great advice here but I would add: you need to not be scared.
Cats respond best to calm, loving confidence.

If you're not feeling it right now then you need to fake it til you make it and touch less when you're feeling overwhelmed.

Hissing is pretty effective, as is a high pitched squeal, and scruffing them when they get overstimulated and you need to detach them to get away.

If there are moments when they Just Won't Stop and it's Really Winding You Up Because They Just Won't Leave You Alone then a gentle spray of clean water from a clean spray bottle will shock then without harming or frightening.

Don't underestimate the power of feliway. Keep one plug-in per floor at least (hallway or kitchen and landing) and then one in at least one of the rooms they use most frequently.

Have you had cats before? You say you're unfamiliar with cat behaviour.

Heard of Pavlovs Dog? You can train a cat to know what certain words mean. Always use the same one with the same inflection eg for mealtimes, brushing them, playing with them. It helps with communication.

Soothing classical music is also very good at helping them to relax. Worth knowing because we're entering the most over-stiumalting season! Keep a room free of Christmas stuff and noise and bustle if you can so there's always somewhere calm for them to retreat to, even if they don't use it lots just being accessible to them can help.

I personally wouldn't use any sort of aversives like water sprays or scruffing.

I have found that leaning into a bite (like you do when your breastfed baby suddenly learns to bite when feeding) can be effective. Similar with claws, don't pull as they'll grip harder.

😂😂😂

Thanks for the clarifications - it really does sound like she wasn’t taught manners by her mum and didn’t learn how to share nicely with any sibs. Don’t spose the rescue knows her living conditions before she arrived at 3 months? If she wasn’t properly socialised as a kitten and then only lived in a rescue (effectively like boarding school for cats, however loving the staff are) it’s no surprise that she literally has no idea how to behave now in a private setting. I feel so sorry for both of you!
Our boy came to us (aged about 2) with some pretty thuggish manners and I would agree that teaching him ‘good boy’ and ‘NO’ in the same intonation for each has helped convince him that bad behaviour is not rewarded. If he acts out I say NO firmly but calmly and I don’t pull away. I repeat it until he does stop, then reward him with a pet for getting it right. As long as we combine that with LOTS of energetic play, he keeps the violence to a minimum.
Sounds like she needs a lot of work, but imagine the warm cosy feeling you’ll get if you manage to get her to an adoptable stage!

They're definitely contentious on mumsnet but as long as they're never used in anger or frustration and only very occasionally in the short term I don't think there's anything wrong them. They won't hurt or harm a cat.

Thank you, I really appreciate your input! She was a stray kitten and was witnessed getting run over when she was 3 months old so they took her into care. She needed surgeries etc and by the time she was ready for adoption, no one has wanted her for some reason.

I do have to agree with you, what you say makes complete sense. I think if we put in some training now as well, hopefully by the time she goes to her forever home she will be a bit better.

I have one that is a biter, not a hitter though. The rescue were well aware of it (the first thing they asked when I applied for him was “are you sure, he bites?!”) and very strongly suggested he’d been removed from mum and siblings too young though he was 4 by the time he ended up in rescue, likely having spent the entire time on the streets.

He’s an absolute darling and a complete fiend for fuss but seems to think that biting is showing affection to us, it’s absolutely bizarre. We do absolutely no reaction to bites, gently moving him away when he gets into that mode. After 4 years with us, I can also read when he’s about to and move myself away before he can. It seems to be sufficient distraction.

The other thing I will say if it’s poor socialisation is look out for unusual signs of anxiety. Mine had never lived in a house with humans before also and became instantly very attached to DH. He struts around the house like he absolutely rules the roost (and DH) but we’ve had several instances of stress induced bladder blockages when DH has been away for work. He’s also been known to attack DH when he comes back from a trip. Our theory is that he thinks DH has died and can’t cope with the shock of him returning.

Managing his feelings is a constant in our house- he gets more play than he actually asks for because we find tiring him out relaxes him. He has a prescription for gabapentin for any changes (DH work trip, us on holiday, workmen in the house) and he is obviously much happier on that.

It would also be worth trying and seeing how she gets along with other cats….2 years in we brought home an older, cat savvy brother for him. DCat2 has the patience of a saint and has been smacked and hissed at more times than I can count but has never given up on DCat1, he’s gently gently taught him some manners and has also taught him how to play properly (trying to entertain him was quite hard before!). Sometimes DCat1 still acts like DCat2 is trying to murder him when he tries to play but more and more often now we get lovely playtime from the 2 of them. It also shows us that DCat1 was much more anxious than we thought as he often hangs back/hides and lets DCat1 go and investigate goings on like a visitor, the postman, next doors cat in the garden (mine are indoor!).

Basically it’s DCat1’s world and we all just live in it… I must say that keeping him happy and healthy is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

Awwww bless, I’m so glad that you adopted him and he found a lovely home with such patient and understanding adopters! This is what I hope for my foster girl.

it’s interesting that you should mention other cats, as she is so playful and full of energy the rescue think she would do well with another cat to play with. However, she has never been tested. I do actually have 2 cats of my own who are incrediblyyyy friendly and lovely but one of them is older and not playful. My younger cat is the same age as my foster and is very playful. I have contemplated doing slow introductions but I know that’s not usually typical when you have a foster. I would worry that foster cat wouldn’t know how to play with my cat though and accidentally hurt her or be too rough or something or get overwhelmed easily and scratch her. But that might be me being an over protective cat mum

I totally understand how you feel about not wanting to introduce your spicy foster to a settled and well behaved incumbent! Maybe this is something the rescue could try with her?

Mine was the other way round as DCat1 was the incumbent. We took DCat2 home in full agreement with the rescue that if introductions went badly he’d have to go back. As he’d been in rescue 6 months with no applications (he was 10 and has the same health condition as DCat1) they felt it was worth a try. I refused to admit to DH what a lovely cat DCat2 was for the first month as we did very slow, tense introductions. It really showed how poorly socialised DCat1 was as he initially reacted as if he didn’t realise there were other cats in the world! I am very glad we persevered however; DCat2 basically proved himself to be a very special cat indeed and not only has taught DCat1 manners but basically sees his purpose in life as being my personal teddy bear!

You are doing a wonderful thing with your girl by introducing her to a home and family life- once she’s adopted she’ll be far more settled because it won’t be her first time in a home!