How do you know for sure when it's time to say goodbye?

[blubberball]

My cat isn't very old, but we don't know for sure because he is a rescue. Took him to the vet yesterday, because he wasn't eating, and he was hiding away from me, which isn't like him. I carried him and he felt quite weak. His ears felt quite warm, his gums looked quite pale and his breathing sounded a bit fast and hard. Took him to the vet where they put him on oxygen, and gave him steroids. They did tests and scans, but found nothing obvious. He's been losing weight, and his red blood cell count is very low. The vet said something weird is going on, either an infection or a cancer that they can't see on the scans and tests. He offered to euthanise him there and then, but I couldn't do it, as the oxygen had perked him up and he was purring and making little biscuits on his blanket. I decided to bring him home and try to treat it as an infection, but the vet wasn't hopeful that he'll get better. He did eat at home, and I tried to give him his antibiotics. I thought he had taken them, but found later that he spat them out. He's been drinking a lot of water, and weeing a lot. He's just been laying and sleeping on my son's bed. I think that I know deep down that he's not going to get better, but I'm finding it really hard making this decision

When the vet says they'll PTS without prompting. It's his time, sadly.

My vet nurse friend said to try crushing up the medication and mix it in his food, which worked great.

Thank you 💐 I think deep down I know, and if he was as he was when we took him in, I would have agreed to it in that moment. But he's perked up so much. The vet did say that once he's off the oxygen, he's likely to go down hill again. Just keeping a close eye on him. I don't want him to suffer at all

So sorry OP. It's so hard and horrible. For us our cat was diagnosed with aggressive stomach cancer last early year - we were given treatment options to prolong her life, but only for a short term and not cure her. She was just ten.

We opted to PTS a week later when she was still, to all intents and purposes, herself and "well" (eating as normal, running around, no weight loss, caught a mouse in the garden the day before the final appointment) because I was absolutely resolute that I couldn't see her go downhill and suffer in any way. Her only symptom had been vomiting, so the diagnosis was a horrible shock to us and our vet. We'd had her back and forth over a few months, then were eventually referred to a specialist place where even there the vet said she expected further scans to show IBS.

She had a final week of lots of love (which she always had) and all her favourite foods, then on the day I wobbled and asked our vet what she would do if it was her cat - would she do the chemo that could give us an extra 12 months (possibly)? She said no, she would do what was right for the cat, not what was right for us, regardless of how much we wanted her to stay with us. I knew she was right, although I think my DP might have tried the chemo if it had been solely up to him. The actual PTS was very graceful, and I am glad we could give her a peaceful goodbye with us there holding her and telling her how much we loved her. I had to be taken out a back door of the surgery as I was a wreck.

(We adopted a little boy cat shortly after who had been a stray kitten and he was an excellent "project" for me while I was broken hearted. He was a hissy wee thing initially but now is an absolute joy. I'm certain our girl popped him up on the Cats' Protection website for me to find.)

I think if he gets off the bed and hides again, even after you’ve given medicines time to work.

I think the hardest thing is that you have that responsibility for ensuring a good end for your pet. Ours was older, but he'd started to hide away and was dragging himself outside and hadn't wanted to come in at night, they could see he had a lump that they assumed was cancer - they could have done more tests, more bloods etc etc. But that would have meant more medication and more stress for him.

The vet came to the house to put him to sleep to save him more stress. It was his time.

I'd see if the meds work as you say cat has perked up, but if after the meds finish the cat declines again I'd ask the vet to PTS. It's always hard but even harder if cat is only 10. I'd wait to see when the meds run out how cat responds.

I’d see if the treatment helps at all. Crush it up in Lik-e-Lix that he only gets for a good reason. If not, then pts 😿

You can get “pill pockets” from Amazon.

Oh @blubberballi just came on here to start the same thread. My cat has a massive cancerous lump on her foot. They thought they could amputate the leg but are now saying it would be pointless and cause her to suffer more.
just when I had the appointment booked she perked up and ate some tuna…so I cancelled it.
it’s so hard to know isn’t it?

I hope that you manage to make a decision and that things go peacefully!

Thank you for the kind replies

This evening, he did not want to eat the tiniest blob of soup with his pills crushed up in. He would usually lap up the whole pouch in seconds.

He's lost so much weight. He was such a chonky boi, but he felt weak and light when I just carried him down for his dinner. He just lapped water and did another big wee in his litter tray. He wasn't interested in food. He took himself back up upstairs and is just back to laying on my son's bed. He's purring in a self soothing way, and he's breathing pretty fast. He's not been grooming himself at all.

Just trying to call my partner, then I'm going to have to call the vet for advice. But I fear that this is it

They took him through to put him on oxygen whilst we wait. This is probably going to perk him up again, and I'm just on this horrible rollercoaster

Oh mate, it’s the absolute worst, but it sounds like it’s probably time unless the vet has a concrete solution that is going to help - it’s the last act of love for him to let him go gracefully.

just seen your post op, so sorry it's so hard.tbh this reminds me of my previous cat. she lost loads of weight and went off her food but drank loads. turned out she had renal failure so we had to have her pts, it broke all of our hearts. we got another cat within a few weeks. all the best, i'm really sad for you (i'm currently worried about my cat, we love them so much, like children)

Most people end up feeling they left it too late rather than PTS too early. You know he's not going to get better & you don't want him to have a crisis end. You can gift him a peaceful end, at least. One of our cats, I knew it was time when he went off his food. He was a good obsessed cat so had lost his number 1 joy in life.

Thank you so much for your kind words. They have brought me comfort today. I said goodbye to my little friend 💐

So sorry for your loss @blubberball. sending lots of love ❤️

So sorry, OP - you did the brave, hard thing for your best beloved wee chum. My lovely Saffy is waiting for him over the rainbow bridge 🤍

I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely boy. It’s such a hard decision to make but the kindest one and he was lucky to have been so well loved.
Cant say anything to make it better because a cat shaped hole in your heart is truly awful but sending you a hug. You did the right thing for him.

So sorry @blubberballthey do leave a space in our lives don’t they?
Take care of yourself.

All of mine weed on my bed the day they were PTS. They never ever did that at any other time. I just knew.

Yes, he was about to wee in the corner of my son's room. I managed to see what he was up to, and carried him to his litter tray. He never did that before

Aw, so sorry 😢