Grieving

[Backinthedress]

My beloved cat of 16 years died a couple of weeks ago. To say he was my emotional support is to wildly underestimate the love and affection he showed me. I asked the vets for a general cremation as I didn't need his ashes to be returned to me but I did ask if they would take an ink paw print for me and they agreed they would and told me it would be an additional £5 to cover that.

Today I'm in the office, already having a difficult time as I am leaving this role (they have decided to hire someone else instead of extending my contract) and don't want to be here now I know they don't want me. The vets called to say the cremation has been completed, but that they didn't get the paw print due to an admin error.

They've offered to refund the 60 odd quid the cremation cost, but honestly, that doesn't make a difference right now. All I feel is like I threw him away. I am really struggling to hold onto my composure as I am in the office and already feeling fragile and do not want to cry in front of everyone. Insult to injury I'm onboarding my replacement today.

I told DP I was over the worst of the grieving and I thought I was, but I am really hurting right now and missing my lovely lovely boy.

I want to get a new cat, but not until I have healed. How do I know when that is? I thought I was but now I'm a mess again.

Poor you. It will feel like the worst right now. Have you got any lovely pictures of him to perhaps get framed or turn into a little memory board, as a different way of remembering him?

Yeah, im trying to pick which of many hundreds to print.

Today has been really quite poo. Thank you for responding.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It can be lonely because lots of people don’t understand the grief of losing a pet.
The shock and sadness about his paw-prints are understandable, but it’s the life he led and the memories that you made with him while he was alive that matter. You can let go of the guilt. You gave him your love, you couldn’t have given him any more x
Your heart hurts, but he had the best life with you and now he is at peace. x

So sorry. When our beloved cat had to be pts last year we did have a private cremation - the pet crematorium called me because my DP was working abroad. I was at work and just about to go and teach a class. I had to get someone to go and sit with them because I was a wreck! They also persuaded me into shelling out £££ for a fancy urn during the call.

We got loads of photos printed, and I also made some into a collage using an app so there were nine in a square (like an Instagram post). We have one big photo of her framed in the hearth, and the little square in a frame on the masterpiece - I always have white flowers beside it because she was white. (Pic of the current blooms attached.) I have a couple of prints pinned up beside my desk at work, and DP has another framed on his “man cave” mantel in the spare room too. Would anything like that work for you?

I was surprised how very kind people were - my manager at work bought me a beautiful white orchid for her, and another colleague brought me a bouquet of white roses. People do understand that pets are family. The Blue Cross do bereavement support which I accessed a couple of times too.

We did adopt another cat, very quickly - I was browsing the Cats Protection website and thought, here he is. He’s such a different cat, he’s two now, orange, and an absolute little racket. Exactly the cat I needed to rescue me when my heart was broken.