Kittens not getting on

[MumOfManyAliases]

I adopted a kitten just under 3 months ago. He’s 5 and a half months old but he is a large cat for his age (he was a lot bigger than his sibling and has big fluffy paws he’s growing into).

We wanted a second (his sibling had already been adopted, which is why we didn’t adopt both of them at the same time). So just over 2 weeks ago I adopted a second (female) kitten. She is 3 months old. First kitten has now been neutered. Both cats are settled in well and social with us. The issue is how they are getting on with each other. We’ve followed all the advice from the cat adoption charity.

We’ve been using a large dog play pen and putting one kitten in while the other is in the room and then swapping them around part way through the evening. Either that or they are kept in separate rooms. I don’t feel comfortable with both cats loose around each other because the bigger one has jumped on top of the little one and covered her so we can’t even see her and I can’t tell if it’s playing fighting or real. So for now we are using the play pen to keep them separate until she gets bigger and better able to defend herself.

Unfortunately this evening the bigger one got in the room the little one was in, and very quickly a fight broke out where they started rolling around on the floor. The cat charity said if it gets rough to keep calm and separate them. But I panicked and there were raised voices because we were all panicking to be honest. We managed to separate them and thankfully both cats are ok. But they were rolling around on the floor, I saw some furr flying and there was hissing and screeching.

I’ve looked online and google still seems to think this could be play fighting.
I feel like I’ve gone wrong somewhere and other than to keep trying to keep them apart until the smaller one is bigger, I’m not sure what to do.

Does anyone have any advice? I just want them to get on.

I adopted two kittens from the same litter. All they do is hiss at each other and they are the worst. They’re also 4 years old now and still doing it.

Sorry, no advice.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, but I think some cats just don’t like other cats. Our previous girl absolutely hated all other cats, and defended her territory vigorously - we had to have her pts last year aged ten (bastard cancer) and we rarely saw another cat in the garden in all the time we had her. She saw them off with the occasional scratch on her nose for her trouble.

We now have a little boy cat who was just past one when we adopted him. He’s two and a half now. Next door has a boy and a girl cat about the same age who he started letting out at the end of last year. Our boy and his boy play out together like little angels. The girl spits and hisses at our boy like a little demon, and he’s desperate to be friends with her. 💔 I think he would like another cat to live with, but of course, another cat might not like him!

I have 11 year old and a 5 year old girl cats. They only started to rub along together about 2 years ago. They still occasionally wind each other up but interestingly, the younger always defers to the older, even though she’s younger and stronger.

They will get used to each other and find the heirachy. It’s only concerning if injuries occur too often.

We have sibling kittens but boy cat is much bigger than girl cat. They do play fight and can roll about with each other. They love a game of tig in the garden! Girl cat will hiss and spit if boy cat is too rough with her or when she gets fed up with him.
We try and let them get on with it unless boy cat isnt leaving her alone persistently. I just grab him out of the mix and it settles them down.

We have sibling sisters that hate each other. Not all cats want company from other cats.

Have a look at some Jackson Galaxy videos on YouTube, he's the Cat Daddy of them all and will give you really good ways of introducing them.

Personally, screeching & actual chunks of fur suggests to me it was at least partly serious but if there was no blood it could be just determining dominance. I know it's hard, but try not to panic if it happens again as they will pick up on your stress & things can get worse. You're much bigger and stronger than either of them, so 2 people grab them & separate into opposite directions.

It’s not a popular view on here but I’ve always introduced new kittens by plonking them down on the floor and supervising - we’ve never bothered with all the scent swapping or blocking access to each other with doors etc - we just let them get on with it (obviously prepared to intervene if necessary) and we’ve never had any issues apart from the odd hiss and swat.

We have three unrelated males of varying ages and have never had a genuine fight - yes, a few spats here and there but nothing serious. We also had a girl with the two oldest boys (until we lost her two years ago) and again, no issues.

While I get the idea behind scent swapping and it clearly works for some people, I do think for other cats it can create a lot of tension and fear as they never get the chance to actually see the other cat properly until they’ve got themselves all worked up.

Maybe try a feliway plug in, hope it works out.

Thanks so much for all your replies. I really appreciate hearing everyone’s experiences, even if they’re wildly different!
I know it’s early days, and every cat pair seems to have their own weird dynamic, but I suppose I just needed to hear that it’s not necessarily something I’ve “done wrong.” We're still using the play pen and room swaps for now, as I really don’t trust the big fluffball not to squash her like a pillow again. No blood, thankfully, but it was intense and there were tufts of fur flying. I’m keeping a close eye and trying to stay calm (which is easier said than done when you’ve got two furious fur missiles spiralling across the floor).
I’ll definitely check out Jackson Galaxy, thanks for that suggestion. And yes, the scent swapping and slow intros made sense at the time, but maybe it’s made the mystery of the other kitten too suspenseful. At least now I know we’re not alone in the chaos!
Fingers crossed this is all part of them figuring things out… ideally without one getting flattened.