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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

My gorgeous boy 😢

48 replies

Purplesparklyhippopotamuses · 01/08/2025 15:54

I've just got back from the vet with my beautiful boy, I'm devastated - he has a tumour in his abdomen. Because of his age they don't think surgery/treatment would be the right route and now it's just about making him as comfy as possible for however long he has. They said it could be days, weeks at most 😢

He has been the best boy with such an adorable personality, you can't help but love him. He's so dappy he has us in hysterics most days with his uniqueness and his quirky little ways.

He is the most loyal cat, I often say he's confused himself with a dog... He's been my daughter's shadow since she was born, he would come and get us when she was a baby and lead us to her if she was crying. There will never be another Max 😢

I'm so scared of making this call, how do I know when the time is right? He's lost so much weight and is sleeping a lot of the time, but is still happy to sit and have cuddles. I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye to him 😢

Picture of Max enjoying the sun in the garden 🥰

OP posts:

Allergictoironing · 02/08/2025 09:03

I doubt very much the vet would suggest any further treatment in Max's condition, especially after giving a terminal diagnosis with a short timescale. More likely they will feel relieved that you have made the best decision for the cat rather than hanging on for your own feelings.

My vet was so pleased when I interrupted her clearly trying to give me bad news and told her to give it to me straight, no faffing around. She was also very happy when I took the cat's feelings into consideration regarding further life prolonging treatment which would mean visiting the vet every 2 weeks for uncomfortable treatments.

We've just had to go through similar, though not as urgent as with Boycat, with the "new" boy who has recently been diagnosed with FIV and has a stomach condition. We've done all the minor diagnostics for the stomach up to scans & biopsies, but to determine fully what's up the next step would be major bowel surgery. That's very strongly contra indicated with FIV with very high chances of him getting an infection & dying, and him going to hospital for 2 or more days would distress him so much. So we've decided (me and vet agreed between ourselves) that we will let him live with whatever it is & just play it by ear until it's time.

Often vets have to skirt around unpleasant subjects with owners who then only "hear" best case scenarios or completely reject mentally any bad diagnosis. Vets need to give you all the treatment options, and many owners insist on heroic measures to try to give a pet just a little more time.

Springtime98 · 04/08/2025 01:49

I'm so so sorry, he's gorgeous ❤

Cnon · 04/08/2025 05:46

@Purplesparklyhippopotamuses So sorry for your family's pending loss of Max.

As my Dad says, pets are family.

Turophilic · 04/08/2025 19:45

I'm so sorry. Max is a gorgeous lad and I'm sure he had a wonderful life with you.

My younger cat, age 9, died of bowel cancer three weeks ago today. My older lad, age 13, has just been diagnosed with heart failure. I can barely face the idea of losing my other sweetheart so soon. I send you so much sympathy.

Breadcat24 · 05/08/2025 17:26

Max sounds lovely

Pudmyboy · 05/08/2025 17:35

Max is so gorgeous, enjoy your time with him and remember the lovely life you have given him (and he has given you)❤️.
I had a vet come to the house as my Pud hated his carrier. If you are in the Midlands I can recommend Dignipets.
It is the kindest yet hardest gift to give to your little one, I hope it all goes well for you when the time comes. Will you bring him home?

Original poster

Purplesparklyhippopotamuses · 06/08/2025 13:56

Thank you everyone, sorry for being so quiet - I've been lapping up every little bit of Max I possibly can. He's been truly spoilt over the last few days, had his own little roast made for him on Sunday, his own mini fry up Monday and some yummy chicken last night. Lots of treats, cuddles and love 💖 he's booked in at the vets for 6.15 tonight 😞 as heartbroken as I am, he's deteriorating very quickly and he just looks sad 😢

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SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 06/08/2025 13:58

Sending huge hugs and strength. You're doing the best thing. Lucky boy, to be so very loved.

Original poster

Purplesparklyhippopotamuses · 06/08/2025 19:23

He's gone, my beautiful boy has gone. He was so brave, and I am so broken 💔 😢

OP posts:

Lemniscate8 · 06/08/2025 19:44

sending you love, many of us have been there. xxxxx

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 06/08/2025 20:02

((((((((Hugs)))))))))

Tell us about him. What were his funny little quirks that made him so unique? Did you have him from a kitten?

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 06/08/2025 20:02

Thinking of you @Purplesparklyhippopotamuses it’s the absolute worst. Be kind to yourself 🤍

TheEndlessNight · 06/08/2025 20:13

Thinking of you and sending strength @Purplesparklyhippopotamuses

Turophilic · 06/08/2025 20:32

You did the kind and loving thing.

It's less than 48 hours since my lad was put to sleep and we're all still reeling. Be kind to yourself, it will be a hard wee while.

Tortielady · 06/08/2025 20:42

I am so sorry. Allow yourself to grieve for your beloved Max. Look at photos of him and talk about his funny little character, his favourite toys and food. Most of all, remember what a great life he had with you and how much you loved him.

Go well, sweet one 🌻

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 06/08/2025 20:57

Aww sad news but you did the right thing for him and sadly you bear the pain to make sure he doesn't .

My human son is called Max (though our malecat is my Good Son)
Love the picture of him sunbathing with not a care in the world ..

Breadcat24 · 07/08/2025 16:36

so sorry

Original poster

Purplesparklyhippopotamuses · 08/08/2025 08:11

Thank you everyone, I still feel like I'm in a bubble. He filled the house with love and laughter.
We had him from a baby, he was actually a kitten from a pregnant stray we brought in. We'd found homes for all the kittens but Max developed an eye infection. I got hold of the couple he was meant to be going to and told them I needed to hold on to him for another week or so to finish his treatment. During that week I knew that he was meant to be with us. I called my mum crying saying I couldn't let him go but my husband had already said no to keeping hold of any of the kittens. She was trying to talk me out of it knowing OH had said no. I got a call back from her 5 minutes later with saying you can't let him go 😂 called husband at work straight away and spent his lunch talking to him about keeping Max. He agreed surprisingly quickly, turns out he wanted him to stay too! His new owners were due to pick him up in an hour or so, so I had to quickly get hold of them and apologise, but I was too attached to him. I knew straight away he needed to be with us.

He was the best (and worst) cat. We always said he wouldn't last a day as a stray! He couldn't hiss to save his life, he would try and would just sound like he was letting out a sigh, it was a proper dissatisfied exhale rather than anything menacing, he couldn't work out how to get through the stringy door curtain to get into another room - he'd sit and tilt his head it it and look at me to move it for him. Max loved playing with the light pen, of you turned it off when it 'went under the sofa' he would sit for ages and wait for it to come back out. He was scared of birds, and when the wind blew the grass, and would spend hours chasing the reflections of our wind spinners around the garden. He thought he had to scratch the cat flap before it would open, would never just walk through it, and wouldn't go through it if the door was open - but wouldn't go through the door either (we would have to close the back door so he could go through his door) when we'd be having dinner, you would just see his paw searching around the table for anyone's plate, he wouldn't be watching. We used to joke he couldn't see us so he thought we couldn't see him (like when a child covers their eyes to become invisible)

We'd go out and he'd sit and wait, he'd come and greet us when we got home with his little delicate meow. We would say hello with Good day, sir - like the gentleman he was 💖 he would trot in front of us, checking we were following to guide us home, and he would look so proud that he delivered us home safely.

He spent his last day in his favourite spot in the garden, in the sunshine being handfed his favourite food.

He brought so much joy to our lives, we have a big Max shaped hole in our lives. There's a space on the bed that looks so empty now 😔

OP posts:

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 08/08/2025 09:47

He sounds like a lovely boy, @Purplesparklyhippopotamuses - you were so lucky to have one another. 🤍

TonTonMacoute · 08/08/2025 10:04

You will just know. There is a definite change between them being content to sleep all day and it being time. You can see they have just lost interest in everything.

It's such a heartbreaking time, but you will look at him and know that you cannot let him go on another day as he is, and the kindest thing is to let him go.

He's lucky to have had a wonderful life with you. They leave a big gap but you never forget them.

LemonPanda · 08/08/2025 10:27

What a beautiful boy! ❤️ So sorry for your loss, thinking of you x

Shedmistress · 08/08/2025 10:32

RIP Max. God it hurts so much doesn't it.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 08/08/2025 11:06

What a beautiful post about your boy @Purplesparklyhippopotamuses .
In a few weeks come back and read it again , it's too raw now , but your post will make you smile .

I love the bit about him being a Useless Stray .
Our cats are ex garden kittens . We always tell our boy ( big jet black 4.6kg lump of lard ) that he wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes if he hadn;t been taken to Cat Protection.

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