Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

White lie to neighbour

26 replies

Lorrymum · 18/07/2025 15:18

My neighbours are away on holiday next week. Today they asked if I could look after their cat and Im afraid I lied and said I was away.
They are away for over a month and having looked after him last year for a similar length of time just couldn't do it again. He is a difficult cat, scratches and bites (I don't blame him, a month is a long time without his family) and they didn't once send a text to check how he was. They also took over a week to come and say "thank you." or ask how he had been.
Feeling slightly guilty about the lie and just needed to vent!

OP posts:
caramac04 · 18/07/2025 15:21

A whole month???? They are CF’s. They will have to find a nice, homely cattery.

OldWomanInACardigan · 18/07/2025 15:23

They're going away for a month? The poor cat. They need to find a cattery (the cat will hate it). That, or a paid cat-sitter, one who will visit a couple of times a day.

CatChant · 18/07/2025 15:31

They’ll be very lucky to find a decent cattery at this point. Ours gets booked up months in advance.

They should have made arrangements for the cat long ago.

I hope they won’t just push it out of the back door and leave it to fend for itself. They sound the type who might do that.

Poodlelove · 18/07/2025 15:32

I think a white lie is good for the welfare of the cat , it's not fair and it should have a house sitter or go to a cattery

Plus they should pay the person and say thank you , checking in every few days.
I wouldn't do it either.

Ivy888 · 18/07/2025 16:38

Don’t feel guilty. You’re not responsible for the cat. They are. And they should have made proper arrangements earlier. They can’t expect their neighbour to be available for an entire month.

cupfinalchaos · 18/07/2025 17:05

Poor poor thing.. a month is a long time. Just awful for the cat.

GloriousGoosebumps · 18/07/2025 17:11

What are they like? Will they just abandon the poor cat? (I'm not saying that you should take on the task.)

Agapornis · 18/07/2025 17:12

He doesn't sound particularly loved. Not saying that you should say he walked away and abduct him, but... He would probably be happier with a loving, understanding owner.

Lostinidea · 18/07/2025 17:26

cupfinalchaos · 18/07/2025 17:05

Poor poor thing.. a month is a long time. Just awful for the cat.

I agree. A phone call to the blue cross might be in order. Anonymously of course.

Madcatdudette · 18/07/2025 17:30

Don’t feel guilty. It’s really is not your problem and I have lied about going away before to get out of cat sitting.
I do think you sound like a nice person and would intervene should anything awful happened to the kitty.
Don’t feel guilty, they are the owners, you are not

Shinyandnew1 · 18/07/2025 17:34

Today they asked if I could look after their cat and Im afraid I lied and said I was away.They are away for over a month

I don't blame you-that's one heck of a long holiday. What did they say they'd do instead when you said no?!

EssentialDecluttering · 18/07/2025 17:41

I don't blame you either. They've probably left it too late to get a professional cat sitter or cattery, there are lots of teenagers that will do cat sitting for a bit of pocket money though. But he sounds like hard work and they might struggle to find any one person who isn't away in that time.

Flossflower · 18/07/2025 17:47

I would probably have lied if put on the spot like that so I think this is OK but they are probably going to ask you again so you will eventually have to say No.
I would have just tell them when they come back that you won’t be doing it again as you found it too limiting.
My lovely MIL never said yes to anyone on the spot for big favours. She always said ‘I will think about it’. That gave her time to not give an answer she would regret.

Sgreenpy · 18/07/2025 17:49

A month seems a long time in the summer to have to look after next doors cat. I don't blame you for saying no.
I look after my neighbours cats (and she looks after mine) but we always message once or twice and give a gift of a bottle of wine/chocolates/flowers or something x

tinyspiny · 18/07/2025 17:49

Some people really shouldn’t have animals

Pherian · 18/07/2025 17:55

Lorrymum · 18/07/2025 15:18

My neighbours are away on holiday next week. Today they asked if I could look after their cat and Im afraid I lied and said I was away.
They are away for over a month and having looked after him last year for a similar length of time just couldn't do it again. He is a difficult cat, scratches and bites (I don't blame him, a month is a long time without his family) and they didn't once send a text to check how he was. They also took over a week to come and say "thank you." or ask how he had been.
Feeling slightly guilty about the lie and just needed to vent!

That’s awful. Our neighbours do this to us but don’t say anything, they just disappear. Then the cats start coming around begging and looking scraggly and the short version of this is ill feed anyone and anything that’s hungry.

pisses me off to no end though.

DangerousAlchemy · 18/07/2025 18:11

Pherian · 18/07/2025 17:55

That’s awful. Our neighbours do this to us but don’t say anything, they just disappear. Then the cats start coming around begging and looking scraggly and the short version of this is ill feed anyone and anything that’s hungry.

pisses me off to no end though.

Edited
Show quote history

That's awful! What shitty neighbours you have! 😪😪 those poor cats. Thank goodness you feed them.

Iloveacurry · 18/07/2025 18:15

Honestly if it was a week, then that’s ok. But a month? No way.

Motnight · 18/07/2025 18:19

My work colleague moved into his new house. Noticed the same cat trying to get in, crying, looking more and more bedraggled. After a few days he rang the previous owner and said, has your cat gone missing by any chance, because I think that he might have found his way back here. Buyer replied, yep, that was our cat, but we're not taking him with us. Colleague ended up with the cat for the next 5 years, fell in love with him of course!

Op you have done the right thing.

Original poster
Lorrymum · 18/07/2025 19:59

I am so relieved not to be looking after him. He is beautiful but very odd and I can't read him at all. I have had cats of my own in the past but they were affectionate and easy to be around.
This lad tries to bite my legs and feet (had to wear wellies last year) even while feeding him. My DH thought I was exaggerating until he bit clean through the toe of his shoe.
They mentioned asking a friend from work to look after him so hopefully they will agree.

OP posts:
ThisZanyPinkSquid · 18/07/2025 20:01

A week before they leave for a month they just think about getting someone to cat sit…they don’t sound like responsible owners 😳

ThejoyofNC · 18/07/2025 20:01

The type of person who books a whole month away and doesn't even consider pet care until the week before is guaranteed to be an ungrateful CF so there are no surprises here.

Noodles1234 · 19/07/2025 07:33

I don’t blame you, a month is a bit CF to ask to feed someone else’s pet. Also when you have a oet, two x 1 month holidays seems a little unfair to the pet, no wonder it comes across a little feral as it is left a lot.

Our cattery is lovely, she sits with the cats all day cuddling and brushing them. The cattery is decorated for Christmas and they get Christmas presents. £20 a day is not cheap, but having a pet brings personal responsibilities, the peace of mind we just build it into the cost of a holiday.

angelfacecuti75 · 19/07/2025 22:15

My cats a very clingy cat and they like routine. My cat loves my husband and mopes when he goes away. Shes an indoor cat and very nervous. My sis came and stayed in my flat a couple of times and the cat went full on physcho. This was for 2 weeks. They lash (& any animals do) out when frightened or hurt. No wonder the poor thing is frightened being virtually left on his own for and entire month with an unfamiliar person feeding you with no way of knowing your owners are coming back or not. The poor thing is lonely and frightened .

angelfacecuti75 · 19/07/2025 22:16

Ps this is the only time per year we go away and my friend now comes in and feeds her it seems to work better.