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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

What to do about our cat

13 replies

190Catwoes · 10/06/2025 08:21

Hello, I'd be really grateful for advice on what to do about our cat as we are
struggling.

Our cat is a rescue. We've had her about 7 years now, not sure how old but suspect 14/15 based on what vets have said. She has an inflammatory gut illness and vitamin deficiency which means shes on medication permanently and has very low weight (while eating a lot). We are managing to maintain her weight.

The issues we currently have are that she has mostly stopped cleaning herself and started weeing and pooing everywhere but her tray (even when it is perfectly clean). She will often walk round the house with poo on her paws and if we don't clean it off straight away it takes some of her fur off. She dribbles out food and spit onto her front (and us, our bed) unless we wipe her face. My DH is having to spend over 30 minutes everyday clearing up wee and poo from around the house.

All of this is happening against a backdrop of a generally difficult time. I'm in my first trimester for our second child (hence why clearing up after the cat falls to my DH) with morning sickness. I'm tired anyway, but my DS (3) has started refusing to go to bed until gone 9 and waking at 5.30 so all of us are knackered. My DH has recently started a new job. which is stressful and long hours.

I feel like it might be time to put the cat down but am struggling with that when it feels like a large part of my decision isn't because of her state, but because of everything else going on. If we were childfree and not pregnant I feel like we would be able to manage it (and she's had on and off problems with weeing and pooing outside her tray ever since we got her really). The other option would be to re-home her but I can't think who would take her. With her problems I expect a rescue would put her down. Any advice welcome.

OP posts:
worrisomeasset · 10/06/2025 08:43

No-one will adopt an elderly incontinent cat. A cat that leaves excrement and urine all over the house is a health hazard, especially in a household like yours that includes a very young child and a pregnant woman. I’d say the only option is to have the poor thing put down. You’ve given her the best life she could have had and the kindest thing to do now is to let go of her.

cherrytree12345 · 10/06/2025 08:50

I had a cat and at 13 she started going to the toilet all over the house. Vet did tests but the upshot was it was dementia. My DC were young at the time and the only suggestion the vet had was to confine her to one room. This was not possible and I decided it was kinder to have her PTS. Not an easy decision and I did feel guilty, but there was no other option

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:52

I agree I think it might be time to say goodbye but there are quality of life questionnaires online that will help you decide and hopefully relieve you of any guilt.

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 10/06/2025 08:55

We had a brain damaged dcat. Until she became incontinent she had a great life. Dc dodging wet cleaned up patches and picking up shit became too much to manage. We had her pts... No shame in saving your dcat (or home) from a life stinking of poo...

knitnerd90 · 10/06/2025 09:00

Incontinence in an ageing cat (so not a young one where the issue might be medical) has always been the big sign to me that the time has come or is very soon. The one time I waited it was no kindness.

Allergictoironing · 10/06/2025 09:16

Cats are naturally very clean animals, and she's probably just as distressed as you if not more so.

I think for the sake of the cat it's time to PTS, even ignoring your own situation. Remember cats don't think like humans, all she knows is that she is confused and unhappy. I'd make an appointment with the vet, then spend a couple of days loving her before giving her your final gift - she won't get any better now.

Sympathies; I've been there with a young cat.

190Catwoes · 10/06/2025 09:17

Thank you everyone, your responses have really helped. I'll give the vet a call.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 10/06/2025 09:18

I'd agree that it might be time to say goodbye, as pp have said, cats are very clean so she's probably very unhappy with the situation too, poor love.

Tortielady · 10/06/2025 14:10

She's almost certainly unhappy with herself and the incontinence will be a symptom of something else, either the conditions you already know about, or a co-morbidity you're not aware of. One of our cats had recurrent cystitis, due to a systemic bacterial infection that wouldn't go away, no matter how many antibiotics we gave her. Her kidneys were failing, she was hyperthyroid...poor little scrap. Not everything can be put right unfortunately. But your little lady has had seven great years with you that she might not otherwise have enjoyed. Give her a couple of days of thorough spoiling and walk her up to the pearly gates.

thecatneuterer · 10/06/2025 15:55

I also agree that it's probably time.

Picklechicken · 10/06/2025 16:16

worrisomeasset · 10/06/2025 08:43

No-one will adopt an elderly incontinent cat. A cat that leaves excrement and urine all over the house is a health hazard, especially in a household like yours that includes a very young child and a pregnant woman. I’d say the only option is to have the poor thing put down. You’ve given her the best life she could have had and the kindest thing to do now is to let go of her.

I agree with this.

I think it’s time.

MarxistMags · 10/06/2025 16:21

I agree with everyone else. You have to be practical in this situation. Always remember you have given her the best life you could.

190Catwoes · 10/06/2025 16:59

Thanks all. I've booked in for tomorrow afternoon and she's getting lots of cuddles and attention. She is a very cuddly cat, bless her.

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