Will they ever bond?

[Countingdays]

I adopted DCat2 a month ago. Followed all the guidance for introducing and after a while they were comfortable enough with each other to sleep in opposite corners of the same room, eat in the same place, roam around without animosity so I stopped separating them.

Today in the early hours I heard a couple of scraps between them (nothing major, no injuries just a bit of high pitched growling - didn’t see what happened as they stopped the moment I jumped out of bed). And another one this evening when we were all in the kitchen.

DCat2 is younger - about 2 and still really playful, whereas DCat1 is older, almost 6 so he wants to just lounge and sleep mostly. It breaks my heart because #2 just runs up to #1 and wants to give a little head butt or nose boop and sometimes play, but #1 is so grumpy he’s having none of it. She’s not bullying him, just wants a little attention now she’s braver around him and he’s rejecting her so I’m guessing this is where the scraps are originating from.

I know they’ve only been in each others company a month, but will they ever bond? Any experiences? TIA

I don’t want them to snuggle because like you say I am treating them like cuddly toys, or want some sort of Instagram life. It’s because I can see that DCat #2 clearly wants to, and she’s being rejected multiple times a day then batted away and it makes me sad. Granted, cats don’t feel things in the same way that us conscious humans do, but I feel bad for her.

I just meant most of us have a situation like you describe.

They will figure it out, unless there's aggression or teeth I'd just wait and see and offer the needy one fuss and distractions

@Countingdays give it time. I fostered a torty cat and it felt like she’d never fit in with my three. I was just about to throw in the towel when they all started to get along. I was sorry to see her go as she became such a cuddly girl, far from the spiky girl who arrived.

An earlier tabby cat I had saw herself as the baby of the clowder (yes I’m anthropomorphising). When we got ginger kitten she was very put out. She would smack him round the chops for as long as they lived together.

Sadly ginger boy subsequently hated incoming black kitten and went to live with my mum where he was cosseted and spoiled. Broke my heart to rehome him but he was so unhappy with us. (Kitten had a heart problem which is why he didn’t go to pensioner mum.)

Black cat was with us 16 years but finally left us, our current tabby cat was so lost I got kittens to keep her company (they are bonded so do curl up together). She has accepted them but it took time. She still gives boy kitten a wallop every now and then if he crosses a line. But they do now sleep near each other.

I started out with 2 rescue cats 9 yrs ago (a mother cat and her female kitten) 18 months later we rescued a 2nd cat (male) He tried to bond with my two girls but they absolutely hate him. They have never accepted him. It's got to the point that he now hates them as much as they hate him. They hiss and growl everyday and will fight if we are not around to stop it. It's an absolute nightmare. I know I need to rehome our boy cat but I've got to find the right home for him first.

A month!!! My two took 3 years to become besties. It takes time.