Unrelated kittens fighting

[NotDarkGothicMama]

We have two kittens, a neutered boy aged 7 months and a girl aged 3 months. We got the new addition to keep our boy company, and were advised by a breed specialist that it's better to introduce a girl rather than another boy. Girlcat has been home for 2 weeks and we've started introducing them to each other. We started by swapping blankets and toys while Girlcat was still with her mum, have shown them to eachother while being held and they seemed quite happy with experimental sniffs. Now we let them be in the same room for a few minutes at a time, ready to intervene if it gets too rough.

Boycat wants to be friends with Girlcat, but then gets too excited and tries to eat her. He scruffs her neck or simply sits on her, while she screams. Girlcat has no sense of self-preservation and chases Boycat, bats him on the head, then screams when he pounces on her. When they're kept apart, they scrabble at the door (doesn't matter if it's the one they can see through or not) trying to get to each other. Neither one has actually scratched or bitten the other but Boycat is about 5 times the size of Girlcat and he's still a baby, so he might accidentally hurt her.

What do we do? Let them playfight, or go back to keeping them totally separate? We have Feliway plugins all over the house and give them anti-stress capsules prescribed by the vet.

They're not hurting each other?
Seperate them when it gets too physical. I'd make sure they are not in the same room overnight and if you leave them for extended periods. But otherwise it doesn't sound out of the ordinary. It's early days still.

Domestic cats tend to be solitary unless related. Are they house cats because of the breed? We’ve had a ragdoll and a Maine coon, as have our neighbours, and they all went / go out so they live a full life and don’t get bored.

Let them play flight. It’s how they develop strength and coordination. I wouldn’t leave them alone until they are a bit older but animals sit on each other, and me!, and little kittens are insane.

I'm not sure if BoyCat is hurting GirlCat. He isn't using teeth or claws but she screams when he scruffs her, so he might be pinching skin.

They're not house cats, but the little one is tiny and isn't spayed yet so she's only outdoors in a harness. The bigger one has free run of the garden outside and half the downstairs with his food, water, litter tray and toys while we're out. When we're in, he's allowed in any part of the house where little kitten is not, except for supervised visits. She has free run of the upstairs and half the downstairs rooms, and sleeps in DD's bedroom while BoyCat has free run of the house overnight.

Play fighting is normal for cats development. If they aren't hurting eachother then let them get on with it. She's seeking him out and knows what he's likely to do, so she's not scared of him.
My cats love 'biting' eachother's necks and rough and tumbling all over eachother. They're 6 and 7 and still do it! Never once had either got hurt.
In fact they're the best of friends!

Is Boycat neutered? If not girl cat can have kittens from 4 months old. I've had a foster kitten cone into heat at 14 weeks.

Otherwise, he's just telling her who's the boss. Her squeaking at him is normal, she's using the "I'm just a baby card" to get him to back off.

Yes, BoyCat was neutered before we got GirlCat.

That sounds positive then. The screaming is horrible but it sounds like I should let them learn rather than intervening at the first squeak. They have moments of being delightful together before trying to kill eachother: a spot of grooming, a joint nap on the windowsill or playing with identical toys in the same room.

They were sharing BoyCat's lunch today. This photo (once it loads) really shows the size difference!

Little and large 😄
It sounds like their behaviour is mostly harmonious. Play fighting is normal but maybe intervene if you think the girl is getting hurt.
I have 2 sisters who most nights indulge briefly in trying to murder each other - screaming, thundering about - the rest of the time they're besties.

If kittens are not sleeping or eating, they're chasing and 'play' fighting. We had sibling kittens and watching them was much better than watching tv, enjoy! Also an older cat that we thought wanted to kill them, lots of growling and hissing, until the older cat got into the room we had shut the kittens in while we were out and when we got back we found them all snuggled up together on a bed, end of problem.

Is there any blood or big tufts of fur? If not, it's play.

Completely normal behaviour for kittens together they're just learning, sorting out the hierarchy, and burning off excess energy. If she was constantly trying to hide from him that would be a different matter, but as you say she seeks him out & the majority of the time they are besties.

No blood, no fur coming out, no growling, just screaming. By the sounds of this thread, GirlCat's just a tiny drama queen!

Also looking at the photo of them eating (gorgeous kitties, outstanding colouring!), if he was serious she would be terrified, damaged or worse!

Morning update: the kittens were calling for eachother to play at the literal crack of dawn this morning. They've now been chasing eachother around the house for over an hour and seem perfectly happy. No doubt they'll want a nap when it's time for me to go to work. Thanks for getting me through the toughest part!

Sounds totally normal but please keep girlcat indoors until she’s neutered! I’ve read so many stories of cats escaping harnesses.

Update: the kittens are now besties. BoyCat still gets a bit over-excited at times but when we remove GirlCat, she runs right back for another pounce. Yesterday morning I watched her use a cat tree as a platform to launch herself at BoyCat's head. BoyCat is grooming her nicely and has taken it it upon himself to teach her to hunt. He brought her a starling to practice on yesterday! DH rescued the starling and it flew off, minus a few feathers but hopefully none the worse for wear.

Don't worry, she only goes out in our escape-proof garden.

I hear you, but it’s a big risk to take anyway. Cats will roam for miles to find females in heat - you don’t want entire toms outside your house spraying and fighting.

This is entirely true and not a point I'd thought of.

Gorgeous cats! My boy cat is a ragdoll Siamese and was massive at 6 years old when we introduced a small moggy girl. They are best friends now but in the beginning he did bat her a bit to tell her off, she was a little menace for the first 6 months. It’s nice to hear yours are friends now. It seems your boy cat has taken it upon himself to take her under his paw.

Ragdolls are beautiful. And huge! My colleague has one who's just unbelievably large.

BoyCat is doing pretty well until he scruffs her, then forgets himself in the excitement of making the tiny cat squeak. She doesn't seem that bothered though and is right back in there. They've enjoyed galloping around the bathroom and landing outside our bedrooms at 5am for the past couple of days. It's amazing how loud such graceful creatures can be!

Update: the kittens are now the best of friends. GirlCat still enjoys pouncing on BoyCat, and BoyCat puts her swiftly back into her place, but it all seems to be in good fun. They're adorable when they snuggle up together.

I remember when we got our kitten the playfighting with older cat was absolutely savage - he made no allowances for the tiny size of his new playmate. Kitten gave as good as he got but we would separate them whenever it got too nerve wracking to watch!