Tell me that I am doing the right thing!

[Canthave2manycats]

I have posted about this before, but now it's actually about to happen.

I have three rescue cats. I've had two of them for three years, and the third for just over a year. Cat#1 hates the other two so we keep them separated. In fairness, she has more access to most of the house but she doesn't come into the living room with us in the evening because the other two are there. She did come in sometimes when we only had the other one, but she was always hostile. In turn, they are confined to the living/dining rooms to avoid confrontation with her. #2 and #3 happily love each other.

My DD1 has bought a house and moved out and she wants to take #1 to live with her. #1 was used to sleeping in her bed but has been fine sleeping in the bed since DD moved out. We all think our beloved kitty would be happier as an only cat, and the other two would have more freedom.

DD1 is single, and the cat would be company for her in her house, I know that.

I'm really struggling with this because when I took her in, it was forever. I love her and I don't want to let her down! I will also miss her so much!

The more I type the more I know what is the right thing to do, but it's breaking my heart! She has all her wee routines and all the places she loves to sleep and she has me wound around her little toe pads to the extent that I cook fresh chicken for her as a treat! Her sleeping on the piano stool and sitting at the top of the stairs when I get a grocery delivery and running like hell if the front door opens (she was a stray in a city centre and she never wants to be out there again!)

I know I can go and see her any time but it's just not the same as her wee face popping round the door or greeting me for pets on the landing when I first emerge from my bedroom!!

I can't bear the thought of her not living here any more! I'm in tears typing this!

If you all believe its the right thing for your cat, then you're not doing anything wrong.

I had something similar with a rescue cat, my mums, who nearly came to live with me as we l believed in many ways he'd be happier as a single cat. The only reason we didn't go ahead was because he adored my mum more than anyone else.

You're not giving up on your cat, or abandoning or returning her. She'll be with someone who is already family and who she loves. Nothing to feel guilty about.

Awww, that’s a tough one! It does sound like #1 would be much happier living as an only cat, and it’s not as if you’d be rehoming her to a stranger or taking her to a shelter. She will still be living with family. Some cats just don’t cope in multi-cat households and will never adapt to it. I would do it. I know you’ll miss her, but her happiness and comfort is more important.

Thank you both so much! I love her so much and I'm devastated because this was supposed to be her forever home, and yes I know people move house and take their cats all the time but she has all her wee hidey holes and places she loves to be, and I hate that she won't have that anymore xx

Maybe try and look at it as a forever family, rather than a forever home? The people are the most important part, not the place

As for the hidey holes, you may find that she doesn’t want to hide as much if she’s the only cat!

I think it is definitely the right thing. You will still see her. I had to refine two of mine and it broke my heart. But they are in homes that are better for them. So that is a comfort.

She’ll find more hidey holes!

I think it is a good plan and I am one of those "pets are for life" types,
There are times when for the we,lbeing of the animal , being in another environment is better .

As for the hidey holes, you may find that she doesn’t want to hide as much if she’s the only cat!

This also occurred to me, plus she'll find new hidey-holes - it's something cats excel in!

She's not hiding per se - she just has her favourite spots. One of the other two sleeps in our family room at night and #1 used to be terrified to go in there, but she struts in now confidently, sits on the windowsill or sleeps on the piano stool. She has a cushion in the corner of the bathroom and she loves that especially because it's beside a nice warm radiator. She loves DD's bed (she slept on DD lot before she moved out!, and a couple of particular spots on the landing. She also loves her cat tree in the utility room, but she's taking that with her, plus her toys, her litter tray and her dishes.

She's a timid wee soul and I just hate the thought of her having to start all over again somewhere new when she's been here for 3 years! 😢

She'll still be with a person she knows and loves. It sounds like she would be happier as an only cat.

And I'm sure it would be with an agreement that if she's miserable and not coping with a new place, she can come back.

Thank you. That's the only reason I've even countenanced it. I think she's happy here because we keep them separate but it does mean a few restrictions. And yes, DD will bring her back if she isn't happy.

So she moved today, and DD2 and I have cried all evening! We came home from settling her in, and she wasn't on the windowsill or at the top of the stairs to greet us! I went into the kitchen and she didn't scare the shit out of me by pushing the door open! All her stuff has gone (god she had a lot of stuff, probably more than the other two!) so her litter tray and cat tree are gone from the utility room, her toys and scratching posts are gone, her dishes have gone. It feels like a bereavement only she is (thankfully!) still alive.

She initially hid under DD1's dining table but she has come out since, explored her kitchen (where she is confined for the night) and she has eaten. Last photo I got she was asleep on one of the dining chairs.

I'm devastated, I miss her and I wish I had never agreed to this!

Sadie developed some kind of cold after her earlier vet visit, and got antibiotics. The vet thought it was a reaction to the steroids she had been given, but now my other girl is sniffy, sneezing and miserable - she is so uncharacteristically dull and lethargic and sorry for herself (she's a bit of a drama queen as well because she's not sneezing half as much as Sadie did!) so off to the vet we go again tomorrow!

Just hope my boy doesn't get it now too, as he had cat flu as a kitten and regularly has runny eyes which we have been trying to treat since we got him.