When to put our cat down - help!

[Gertrudetheadelie]

We adopted a gorgeous 11 year old with what we told was a chicken allergy in November last year. Unfortunately, it seems it was actually lymphoma causing him to vomit, and the vet has felt a mass so we know we are on borrowed time.

He's definitely losing weight and is very bony but he's eating voraciously and still sitting in the sun and having pets on a lap.

We are feeding him about every 40mins with a couple of spoonfuls of tuna or mackerel (more food made him vomit) but he's getting the right amount per day if not more. I'm worried that the constant hunger is distressing him but I'm not sure?

I don't want to have him put down just because he's hungry but I also don't want him to suffer as he's such a lovely, lovely cat. Does anyone have any wisdom? Or maybe I just need to hear some truths so I can see it a bit more objectively.

Cat tax provided.

What a lovely cat. I guess it depends if he is in pain?

@Breadcat24 thank you. He is! He's so good with our children too - so gentle and tolerant - and such a cuddle bug. It just seems so unfair :-(.

I suppose that's the issue though, regarding the pain - I just don't know. He's eating voraciously and always hungry - is that distressing? He's not going upstairs as much but I'm not sure if that's pain. With our other cats it was so much clearer when we needed to step in and help them to a gentle end but I'm just not sure now but when I am sure, is it too late?

Have you been offered biopsies? Cars can live years on oral chemotherapy if it is small cell lymphoma. Sadly the outcome is not so great if it is large cell lymphoma, but at least you would know.

@Needanadultgapyear no. He had a steroid injection to help stop the vomiting, which has helped because before it he was barely able to keep anything down at all. The vet implied that at his age, we probably wouldn't want to pursue chemo so it was better to let him down gently to a nice end but I just don't know when to call it an 'end' when he isn't as sad and miserable as our previous boys were when their time came.

There is a poster here who had the same dilemma about her younger cat with the same disease. I know she chose to say goodbye sooner rather than later so looking for her posts may help you make a decision. She's called Judydreamsofhorses I think. Best wishes whatever you decide - he looks like a lovely boy.

@Puppylucky thanks - that's really helpful. We always adopt old cats, so we know we have less time with them but it's still so heartbreaking when it happens.

No problem - I think what you are doing is amazing as it's not easy trying to judge the end. Our Elton is also on a trajectory to serious ill health and knowing there will come a point where we have to make that call for him if not for us keeps me awake at night.

I've got one this age with similar stuff going on and vet has prescribed steroid which has stopped the vomiting and reduced the mass.

oh it’s so hard. I had to put mine to sleep yesterday. Her signs was that she had stopped eating, stopped grooming and looked like she couldn’t get comfortable when lying down. Vet agreed it was time. It was so awful but we had it done at home which was much nicer.

Does she look comfy?

Sorry, just reread and he’s a boy!

No practical advice as I always struggle to know the right time, but just wanted to say it’s so lovely you adopted an 11 year old.

If he’s enjoying food then he’s still enjoying life so I would be led by him.
Looks like a lovely boy.

Thanks all! I suppose I'm a bit bitter as our last boy was 16 when we adopted him and he lasted 3 years and at so at 11 I thought we had a good few years with this one :(.

He is still enjoying his food but perhaps too much? He's been round next door begging for food so I think he's constantly hungry despite all the tuna, crab and salmon (maybe because of the mass)?

He's currently asleep guarding the oven so maybe comfortable. But he doesn't move around the house like he used to during the day. Mostly just kitchen to conservatory. He's definitely skinny too. But he's not sad looking. Tired but not sad. Argh! I just need him to talk to tell me what to do for the best!

https://www.pdsa.org.uk/pet-help-and-advice/looking-after-your-pet/all-pets/how-can-i-tell-if-my-pet-still-has-a-good-quality-of-life
This link has a good checklist to assess their quality of life.
It's hard because cats cam hide pain, however, with my cat it was very obvious. She stopped eating and hid away. She barely moved. She had absolutely no quality of life.
Your poor cat.

Cloud 9 also have a quality of life checker. I wouldn’t say that it’s quite time yet. But maybe not so long away as you might have hoped when you got him.

Hello, I’m the poster mentioned upthread. So sorry you are going through this.

We had the lymphoma diagnosis exactly a year ago (3 April) and our lovely girl was ten. We’d had her back and forth with puking from about September the previous year, but she was otherwise absolutely well, and even gained weight between appointments, so the vets were never concerned. I pushed for tests in March 2024, and £3k later a specialist vet told us she thought it was IBD, and not to worry - then in the afternoon rang to say they wanted to do a CT scan as actually they suspected lymphoma. It was a horrible shock.

We did a biopsy and it was large cell, with a prognosis of 12ish months with IV chemo. Weeks with steroids. It was SO hard to process as she was running around like a kitten, chasing mice, eating as normal. We knew we wouldn’t do IV chemo but were considering oral chemo which could’ve been done at our vet instead of at the specialist place, however she had vomit with blood in it, and I just thought, no, I cannot have this best beloved girl suffer in any way. We said goodbye on 11 April.

Some would say we went in too soon, but I hope we acted for her rather than for us. We loved her so very much, and it was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever been through - it sounds awful but I cried more than I did when my dad died. I am finding this week really tough!

We adopted a little orange guy indecently quickly afterwards who helped me a lot. He was one then and turned two in January. Funnily enough we had to bring him in for his boosters yesterday and I cried the whole way through because the last time I was in was picking up our girl’s ashes.

I don’t think there is a right answer here, but I think we did the right thing in our situation.

I had a thread at the time but can only get back a year on threads I started or I would link it - I had some really helpful advice on it. This was our gorgeous girl 🤍

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_litter_tray/5042516-intestinal-lymphoma

here - I Google searched it in the end. (Sorry for multiple posts)

@Judystilldreamsofhorses thank you so much for your experience. The vet thought our boy could have had IBD too and we had all our fingers crossed that the hypoallergenic diet would fix things. He's been on the oven door since 7pm, just thrown up on the kitchen floor and then sat hunched over his water bowl so I think really I have my answer.

I know it sounds naff but I keep trying to focus myself on seeing myself not as an his owner but his guardian and thinking about what a guardian should do.

He was our indecently quick adoption after our last old boy died in November and I don't think my heart can take another for a bit. We have DC who are very proud that we give homes to cats that don't always get them easily, and we always tell them the truth about life expectancy and illnesses but this one will hit us all hard.

I’m so sorry, it’s just awful. Our girl was honestly living her best life until the very last day - you would never have guessed she had a big fuck off cancer in her stomach - which made it such a hard decision and I know my DP was keener than I was to pursue treatment. If treatment would have cured her I would have done it, but it was rearranging furniture in a burning house, and she really really hated going to the vet at the best of times.

One of the things that helped me decide is that my partner works abroad a lot, and I was really worried about ending up in a crisis situation, on my own, having to rush her to a strange vet in the middle of the night and say goodbye in an emergency - that probably sounds selfish but I knew that would be incredibly distressing for all involved. As it was she had her favourite foods (tuna and Philadelphia) and the sun came out for her to lie out in the garden, then she went to sleep with us telling her how much we loved her. I had the vet do her paw prints then got one tattooed on my arm, so she’s always with me. 🤍

Could kitty have hyperthyroidism? That can make them lose weight and be voracious. Medication can help considerably. You are such a caring cat parent ❤️

I thought the same about not wanting to end up in an emergency situation going to the out of hours vets. It would have been awful.

2nd day without my cat now.

A day too early is better than a day too late. Trust your gut.

@ChristineKo unfortunately not. The first sign he was ill was vomiting. We thought maybe he'd eaten something and there was a blockage but when the vet checked, his bloods were normal but there was thickening in the intestines so she thought it might have been IBD or lymphoma. We put him on a hypoallergenic diet desperate for that to fix it but he just kept losing weight and last visit she felt a mass.

He was a stray before he was rescued by the Blue Cross so we're telling the children that we just have to think that, if it was inevitable the disease was going to progress like this, he's now in a safe place surrounded by love and won't be as scared.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses I know what you mean about the invisible lump! Our first old cat had a large facial tumour, hyperthyroidism, mega colon and kidney failure (three of them when we adopted him!) and our last old boy had liver cancer and had suddenly got bloated but in both cases you could really see that the time had come. I'm finding this much harder and when you love them so much you're so aware that you're viewing everything through that lens and you have to work extra hard to try to be objective. I think your beautiful cat was very lucky to have you x