Adopt, foster or both?

[Bownessbay]

Really struggling to make a call on this and need some honest cat expertise input please!

I've recently started fostering cats. Aside from helping some moggies, I thought it would be a lovely thing for me and the kids, and beneficial for the shelters. Of course, the first cat we've had we've fallen hard for. He's a gorgeous personality, amazing with the kids, really affectionate, funny and gentle.

I didn't want to commit financially to the cost of a cat (not food, toys and litter) - but if there ends up being health issues which insurance don't fully cover / excesses etc. He's aged 4. We manage ok but I'm a single parent so was trying to be sensible, as out of the blue costs such as car issues tend to be felt more on one income that isn't nearly as high as I'd like 😁

But I'm wavering now, partly as I'm smitten, and mostly seeing the joy he's bringing to the kids, and how bonded he seems to be to us already. So, do I:

• not worry too much about cost - how likely are big expenses, honestly?
• adopt him and leave it at that (but would feel I'm letting down the lovely shelter who have sooo many moggies they give second chances to)?
• do both if he takes well to other cats - but logistically it would mean it being a pain keeping the foster cats inside and letting our one out with a microchip cat flap?

I find the keeping indoors side of fostering a bit of a pain when the kids want to nip in, meaning it's quite restrictive and creates more life admin, and wonder if owning is actually lower maintenance than fostering?!

I mean...

Foster fails are VERY common! It would be one less cat to place for adoption if you were to become his forever home, and it seems like he found you in the way cats tend to do...

Re cost, I think it really depends on the cat. Our previous cat needed a load of teeth out when she was very young, about four, which was an unexpected cost that wasn't covered by our insurance (about £900) but other than that didn't need much vet-wise other than annual boosters (£50ish) until she was diagnosed with cancer aged ten last year, and we had to sadly have her PTS. The diagnostic tests to find the problem cost over £3,000 but that was mainly covered by insurance - we had to pay an excess of I think 20%. (We had to pay the full amount and then claim it back, but I don't know if that's the case for all insurers, we were with John Lewis for her.) We then had to pay the cost of euthanasia, and chose a private cremation plus an urn thing which was quite a lot.

We now have a little boy cat who just turned two. He eats Sheba pouches and Royal Canin biscuits, and gets a "chicken yoghurt" most days as a treat. Litter we use Catsan and a full change of the tray is essentially a whole bag - that's deep cleaned weekly. Insurance is much cheaper than with our girl because he's young, about £10 a month-ish. So I think we probably spend £50 on food, £30 on litter, and £10 on insurance each month - £90ish. He's quite fussy, our girl would have eaten pretty much any food. He has lots of toys but is happy with bits of ribbon. Both our cats have slept in actual cat beds, but I think we're unusual!

I did a foster to adopt with Penelope. Which would have been fine had I no t taken her to the vet on her first night home, and she be diagnosed with a rip roaring ear infection, making any further ear issues uninsurable. I knew the rescue very well, but they disagreed with my vets course of treatment. Which was very stressful. (The vet was correct, rescue wrong) but apart from that it’s been fine.

I fostered 9 cats over 2 years before meeting Kitty, My Cat, & couldn’t continue after that because she doesn’t like other cats & I’m in a one bedroom flat.

Despite feeling really guilty about coming off the foster list, I couldn’t not adopt her.

I was paying all but the vet bills, & Kitty’s pretty healthy, but I was really surprised at how different ownership felt. There’s a closeness I never allowed myself to feel for any of the others, although I loved all of them & am still in touch with most of the owners.

@EmpressaurusKitty she is beautiful ❤️ what a gorgeous pic too. That's so lovely about the bond.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses thanks so much for these details. That's very good to know actually as I was thinking I could just absorb the food, insurance and litter costs, but over a year that really will add up - essentially it's our UK holiday! It doesn't mean I can't afford to keep him, I'd ensure of course everything was paid for but I also need to be sensible about the financial side despite his undisputed charm! Although luckily he is so far getting on well with Whiskers dry food and Aldi pouches!

@Toddlerteaplease Wow that's unfortunate timing and must have been so stressful, I'm glad Penelope (cool name!) has been well since though.

He’s magnificently floofy, @Bownessbay, & obviously very comfortable with you.

I can see fostering would be tricky with kids being in & out. I almost adopted my first boy, too, but just as I was thinking about it a couple came along who were so obviously perfect for him that I let him go.

@Bownessbayshes been nothing but trouble ever since! But she’s worth every bit of the stress and expense!

Re costs, please don’t let those numbers put you off - we’re very lucky to be able to afford it without thinking too much about it, but our last cat was much cheaper to run!

She didn’t use the litter tray at all after we started letting her out (although we always had two trays in the house just in case) and she wasn’t at all fussy about food and preferred cheapo Felix to anything else. We had her on the expensive Royal Canin biscuits towards the end of her life because she was throwing up a lot (which turned out to be stomach cancer and nothing food related) and were just using them up when we adopted the orange menace. It turns out he doesn’t care much for wet food and would eat any old dry (hoovers up bargain basement Go Cat) but I like him to have decent quality ones since he only picks at the wet stuff most of the time. Litter-wise we’ve just kept using the brand his foster carer had, but there are far cheaper supermarket alternatives that I’m sure would work just as well.

I absolutely wouldn’t skimp on insurance, and with both cats we’ve used one which has a 24/7 helpline where you can talk to a vet or vet nurse - that’s very useful as a sense check!

Pics of Pricey-But-Worth-It below. He dances. He was a stray kitten who a lady had found living in her shed, and was just turned one when we adopted him. He’s a little monkey but such a joy, and really rescued me after we lost our lovely girl!

@Judystilldreamsofhorsesthat pic of him dancing is amazing!

😂 loves to dance! Sadly generally by the very unaesthetic kitchen bin, because that’s next to his food cupboard 😂

What did you decide??

Sorry i’ve spotted this thread late. I was a fosterer too.

The first cat we fostered, the kids fell in love with. He was adorable and so easy. BUT, I told myself that this was a foster situation. Because he was so lovely, he was going to find a home - mission accomplished. And he did. He went to a wonderful home.

I only eventually foster failed when I met an asshole cat. Every foster home but mine she’d had to be crated (but was not appropriate for a farm). I gave up fostering for her, because she deserved someone to give her a proper chance. So I failed for the worst cat, not the best cat.

but now, of course, she IS my best cat 🥰

Asshole pictured.

Of course she is! How could you resist that face?

Sorry I begged for help and then disappeared after you were all so kind. I had a minor eye thing and had to stay off screens. ( As an aside, THESE BEAUTIFUL AND HILARIOUS PICS ARE NOT HELPING ME RESIST)

@Judystilldreamsofhorses the dancing kitty!😍that is the best pic - he genuinely looks like he's happily grooving, and fully owning it 😂

@Toddlerteaplease perhaps she's getting all her trouble making out of the way and the rest of your long lives together will be a breeze. That's what I tell myself about the kids!

@TakeMeToKernow Haha, brilliant! Of course you did. That's amazing though, and must be extremely rewarding assuming he is now at least slightly less of an asshole. Well done - I guess that's the thing, the cute 'easy' ones are hard to give up, but are the ones far more likely to find a home. T

He is still being hilarious and charming, and even waking the kids for me in the morning. Sometimes too early but you can't have everything. But I am a bit worried about money, not that anyone here has put me off in that regard, but having had a big car bill, I'm thinking I should try and be sensible with everything in the world going up in £ aside from my paltry salary - mostly for potential vet costs/excesses. And a family member is looking to adopt so there may be some matchmaking to be done in which case he'd still be in the kids' lives too. I'm not 100% though, and there is still part of me that knows owning will be easier than fostering due to not having to manage the opening and closing of doors 10 times a day!

As former fosterers @TakeMeToKernow and @EmpressaurusKitty, how long did placements tend to last until the adoption hunt began? I'd assumed it wouldn't be too long as he's in good health and has settled well, but do the shelters like to leave it a couple of months to properly assess/see how they settle? Wondering how long I've got to decide, and managing the kids' around it too.

I’m in the same situation! I have a gorgeous boy and adult around 2-3 he’s really cheeky and just beautiful (he’s a little black one) I’ve had him since end Dec so 3 months and he’s had one enquiry in that time. It breaks my heart he’s so sweet and naughty (in a cheeky way) that no one is interested. I’ve been debating if to adopt him as he is now so settled into my home and we have our own routine. I’m trialling this week taking another and will see how we get one, they are only young so I think they will go quick and if it goes well then it might be a solution to keep fostering too. The thought of them messaging and saying they have someone makes me sad that he will go.

wish I could help you decide I really do it’s such a tough decision

It varied massively, @Bownessbay - one of my fosters was only with me for about a month and never made it to being advertised because he was a perfect match for someone.

I think my longest was with me for about 8 months. Even when they’re being advertised you never know how long it will take.

You also need to be comfortable with potential adopters visiting your home, and there will always be some who are time wasters and mess you about.

Thanks @EmpressaurusKitty - that's very helpful. He's been here just under a month so perhaps that's a loose minimum; makes sense as I'm sure many need at least a few weeks to decompress and start to feel safe, especially if they've been a stray like this one. Although he happened to get his feet under the table (and on top of it) extremely quickly!
My youngest said if visitors come to look to adopt him he's going to tell them that he's hissy and vicious to put them off 😆

@autumn1610 ah this must be tough, after 3 months as well I'm sure he feels pretty cemented to you! Are you managing ok with him not going out, now that the weather has warmed up? Mine is still very keen to break free at moments! Are you fostering another boy, or a girl? I wondered how well they'd mix but I read boys tend to be more accepting of other cats.

In terms of time, I’d say 4-8 weeks depending on the cat/decompression time.

Do you have any other pets?

A pet free household seems to be quite unusual and a real benefit for cats that need to be on their own.

p.s. if/when your foster is adopted, it’s totally normal to cry your eyes out 😄

I’m a solo household (or I was before Kitty moved in) so I often got shy or nervous cats, or mums who had just got rid of their kittens and needed a bloody good rest.

Don't underestimate the possible costs, our 2 cats cost us upwards of £3k in vets bills last year (dental work and pre-existing conditions), plus £100 a month on food.

You are doing a great thing by fostering. It will be sad to say goodbye to a foster but remember they'll be leaving to go to a good home so it's far less sad for you and the kids than saying goodbye to a pet you have loved for years when it's time to PTS.

@Bownessbay i think I’m getting 2 girl kittens they are really struggling with space and I can close off doors so he has downstairs but he likes to sleep with me at night i locked him out when I was ill and needed to sleep and he got stressed and wet himself 🥺 (only know because he is a dream with the litter tray apart from this one night), my plan is not to introduce them I don’t think at least for a few weeks and he has downstairs in the day while I’m out and they can have a room upstairs, I’ll see if it works out 🤞 yeah we are managing ok with outside but I’m convinced he would love to go out and burn off some energy ! he watches the birds and squirrels through the windows and chatters away at them.

Sorry to hear that - about both the health issues and costs, that is such a lot of money. Thanks for sharing, too as this is what worries me. And yes, just the extra monthly costs of food, litter, insurance - which will go up as he ages. I need to be realistic about what's comfortable, and the everyday costs will still end up eating a chunk of my disposable money which I do need to prioritise for the kids... as much as this little guy is adored by us.

Fostering is a good compromise, and I know he'll find a great home. If it is with the family member then all the better as we'll still see him! But if not I don't think he'll struggle to bag himself a home as he's so affectionate.

Ah good luck, I hope they settle well. I bet your boy foster will be looking after them before long!

Thank you - yes no other pets so that's a good point, and I think sticking to fostering is right for us.
Has been very helpful to talk it all through on here.
Thanks everyone!