PTS or hang on? 😢

[CrazyCatMam]

Our old boy is 18. He started going downhill a couple of years ago. Recently, it feels like he’s there in body, but not in spirit, though we still see glimpses of his old self now and then and he’s still as affectionate ever. He even purrs every time he’s at the vet.

He’s been there through it all - marriage, babies, toddlers, grumpy teens, house moves, bereavement - he almost has a sixth sense. When you need him the most, he’ll be velcroed to your side.

Recent blood tests show that his kidneys are failing. He’s losing weight and has lost his spark. He’s still drinking, eating and sleeping lots. I’ve told the kids that we’re nearing the end. They range from don’t want to talk about it to pragmatic to absolutely devastated - which sums up how I’m feeling. Sadly, DH is away working for a month so isn’t here. He’s gutted.

I’m torn. I feel like I’ve psyched myself and the kids up for him being PTS soon, but on the other hand the vet did say they could keep him comfortable… he seems comfortable just now in fairness. How long do I wait? I know the general advice is better a week early than a day late, but I just don’t know.

We’ve had many cats over the years, but none like him. He genuinely is a member of our family, which I know you will all understand. I was all set to call the vet on Monday to arrange a time, but now I’m wondering if I should wait as he still seems fine, or ask what they can do for him until my DH gets home and then we can go together to PTS.

Any advice? Or if you care to share your own experiences that would be appreciated too.

Just to add - a couple of years ago he was diagnosed with diabetes. We changed his diet, checked his blood sugar levels daily and injected him with insulin twice daily. With close monitoring he went into remission. At this stage of his life, and mine, I’m not prepared to go down that road again.

Also, we are in the middle of a house renovation. There’s been a lull for a while, but we’re about to push on to the final stage, which will mean a couple of months of dust, mess, builders… garden is like a building site. Not that he ventures out of the house much nowadays, but I think of the lovely garden we used to have and feel bad that we dragged him here. It’s a shit time for this to happen.

If he's still eating, drinking sleeping more but seems comfortable I'd wait. If he stops eating and drinking or seems uncomfortable I'd say that is the time. If treat him to some tuna in fresh spring water and cat treats like kitty yoghurt. Lots of cuddles. He will show you when he's ready to go.

I knew it was time for mine, when the light in her eyes had gone. Handhold, from me. I think the waiting and knowing is just the worst.

Agree with pp, if he is eating and drinking happily and still finding sunny spots to sleep in then I think you’re ok. Our old lady went from fine (but well medicated) to dragging her back legs overnight so we called it then and there. She had a brain tumour that evolved very quickly. But not being sure when they’re older is the hardest part, our old boy has gone completely blind but is still pottering around the garden and purrs happily when you give him attention. So trust the cat you know and you will know when that shift happens and the decision is easier then because you don’t want them to suffer. But sorry that you’re likely going to be in a are they/aren’t they state for possibly months to come.

It was when my cat stopped eating (even fresh cooked chicken) that I knew that it was time. On examination and before he was pts by his favourite vet, he told me that DCat had a grossly enlarged liver and would have been feeling very unwell. He was eighteen years old and had had a riotous life , tearing around terrifying the seabirds that swooped over us.
A dear friend found me another cat, who is asleep on my feet and, predictably, living in the lap of luxury.

Thank you everyone for your advice and I’m so sorry for those of you who’ve been through the same thing.

I’m going to hang on for now while he’s still happy, although I know that things can change quickly. I’m glad I’ve told the children, so that they’re prepared for when it does happen.

I’m going to phone the vet on Monday to see what they can do for him until it’s time.

If he’s happy, then I’d not be having him pts yet.
My ancient cat was happy wandering about, sleeping in the sunshine and sitting on laps for ages even though I was waiting for the inevitable.
She was a seriously awesome cat and I miss her every day.
You’ll know when it’s time.

This has made me cry. I'm so sorry. My first cat was put to sleep a day too late and that's the vets fault but I live with the guilt even 13 years later. My second cat was put to sleep on the right day but it should have been hours before. The end in my arms, doesn't take away the pain of her spending a day in an oxygen text with the staff trying to stick needles in her for bloods and fluids all day. For me, it comes down to what can you live with the most?

How are you doing @CrazyCatMam ? I hope the vets was helpful and you’ve got a plan for him and he’s doing ok. x

I am so sorry - I can’t say anything to make any of that better but your cats will have known how loved they were. It’s so difficult.
Sending love. Xx

Thank you @Happyhettie. My cat was head butting me as I stroked her a lot more than usual when she was in her carry case and I'm sure she was saying thank you Mummy but I need to go 😢.

@2025willbemytime I’m so sorry. That sounds awful, but you did the best you could.

I’m definitely not going to put him though any tests or procedures and will be keeping him at home. I’ve found a local vet that specialises in euthanasia and they can come to the house at a time that suits us. I’ve also found a pet crematorium.

For now, he’s still happy. Still eating, drinking, and being very cuddly. With any luck he’ll last until my DH gets home.

Sending hugs and a handhold. It’s devastating to lose a member of the family 🫂❤️

My beautiful cat lasted a couple of weeks at the end, gradually eating less but still seeming comfortable. I didn’t know if he’d go on for days vs months, either seemed possible. Then at the end it went from one day me chatting to the vet about would some anti inflammatories be a good idea (he was not on any meds) to the next morning it was clearly time for him to go.