Vet anxiety (me, not the cat)

[Judystilldreamsofhorses]

I know this is utterly stupid, and apologise in advance for being such an idiot - but wondered if anyone can relate or help me unpick?

Our lovely girl had to be pts last April. We’d had her back and forth to the vet several times with vomiting over about six months, but she was otherwise absolutely well (actually gained weight between visits) and each time was given an anti-emetic injection and told to bring her back if she vomited again in 24 hours, which she never did. When I pushed for further tests and we were eventually referred to a specialist she was diagnosed with aggressive intestinal lymphoma, and a very poor prognosis. We opted to say goodbye rather than do chemo to prolong her life (not to cure) for a short time. She was only ten, it broke my heart, but I am confident we did the right/best thing by her as she would have found the treatment and frequent vet visits very distressing.

We adopted a little boy cat very quickly afterwards from CP. He turned two in January and is a delight. DP had a text on Friday to say his jabs are due, and it has sent me into a mad spiral. Last time I went to the vet was to collect our girl’s ashes in a casket. The time before we left with an empty carrier. I keep crying and wondering - what if he doesn’t come back? I know I am being ridiculous - he’s young and in rude health. But so was she, to both the untrained and trained eye!

I don’t want to change vet - the vet who is “our vet” I really particularly like, but all the clinicians are lovely. I know he needs his booster. DP can take him and I don’t even need to go.

I know I am being insane. But can anyone understand? It’s coming up to her anniversary which maybe isn’t helping.

(My beautiful white girl, and my handsome orange boy 🤍🧡)

I think the first anythings after losing a pet can be a bit difficult and emotional. I do think once you've got this appointment done though it will get easier.

She was a beautiful girl, and your new ginger is gorgeous 😻

Why don’t you try dropping into the surgery on your own some time, perhaps to buy something from the waiting room, just so you get over the hurdle of revisiting the premises as a separate goal from actually taking the new cat for treatment? That might help?

I'd ask to go in a different room to the one that you said goodbye to your cat in. I'm sure they'd understand

Thank you all for replying, and for reading my ramble.

Good idea to pop in past - I pass the surgery often but actually can’t walk on the same side of the street still, so that might be a useful exercise. I think the room we were in is used specifically for that purpose as I had never been in it previously and it had a “secret door” off to the side which I left through rather than go back through the waiting room/reception looking like a wreck.

My DP works away a lot, so I know it’s important that I can go if I ever need to bring him in and he’s away.