Psycho tortie needs a cat restraint (to clean her bottom and apply monthly flea treatment)

[Jalopy77]

Towel wrapping has us all running for the hills, one person holding her results in human surrender and her smirking in contempt, and when I tried to wipe her paws with a soft cloth she nearly severed my forearm.
She will NOT let you handle her!
I've seen the cat harnesses to give free access to heads, bums and paws, but I think she would Houdini her way out of them.
Any suggestions very gratefully received!
😾

I have never cleaned our cats bottom! Aren't they self cleaning??

I just pop flea treatment as they stalk past us! Pick your battles maybe?

Why does she need her paws and bottom wiped

Is she long haired? Might be worth getting her groomed to shave the fur down if that's stopping her cleaning herself.
Why wipe her paws though?

Having had to deal with a poo-mageddon incident involving a constipated fluffy female tabby cat, I can sympathise. They are lethal.
We used a giant towel to fully enclose all limbs and claws.

Why to you need to clean Dcat’s bum?

Unless she's long haired you don't need to clean your cat. Even then, keeping their back end groomed massively minimises the need for this (unless they have diarrhoea).

I get flea & worming treatment from the vets that you just rub on the back of their necks.

I had a long haired tortie and the only time I had to clean any bits of her was after a disasterous stay in a cattery

Well, today I found the world's longest skid mark outside the bathroom on the recently professionally cleaned carpet, and small hard pieces of poo on the bathroom floor in front of her litter box, landing and in my son's room. Probably because he can do no wrong in his eyes!!! The only other comparable incident was her standing in some of her own poo (in the litter box) a couple of months ago-I only realised when I spotted some tiny brown footprints on the floor-this led to the futile paw cleaning incident.
I have managed to lift her tail and can't see anything on her bum (she's a short haired) so she might not need a hand with that after all.
Grooming is a distant reality, after 2 years she will sometimes allow gentle brushing of the back of her head, and rarely, her back. That's all!
Attempts to squirt her with Nex Guard have included towel catastrophes, sidling up to her when she is sunbathing, trying to sneak it on when she sits on my lap and whilst she is inhaling lik-e-liks, or cheese Dreamies, or both.
The only two times I have succeeded has been when a brave teenager has held her, but they now refuse, on the grounds that it is "unfair on her" and that she will "blame them". 👀

So she’s an indoor cat? Why on earth does she need monthly flea treatment? They don’t even recommend that for outdoor cats anymore.

I have also just retreated to calm down after she took a running jump to ambush me because I had drawn the curtains, as she insists on keeping them parted.
😼

Oh heck, you’ve got a monster there! 😂
Our little timid black lad tuned absolutely mental hen we put his flea stuff on. DH wears his thickest dressing gown and then wears a thick waterproof coat over top. Cat still manages to scratch him as soon as he feels the stuff on his skin. Thinking of buying armour for next month.

I had a Persian about 20 years ago, when flea treatment was an allergy over spray. She was the most gorgeous laid back cat(DD used to dress her in dolls clothes and lay her on her back in her dolls pram) apart from the flea spray. He was in the motor trade,used to don exhaust gloves, hold her,I took a deep breath, sprayed,let her go!

We were told she would never venture outside when we adopted her, but she's in and out constantly -maybe I should forget about preventative flea and worm treatments? Or just man up and reintroduce the towel wrap?...

All over spray....I never typed allergy!

Ask the vet for credelio. Put one on the floor and watch it disappear like magic (or a dreamie). Absolute game changer. I'm now trying to find something similar as a wormer.

If she's leaving kiddies and hard poo she may be constipated, does she have water and what sort of food is she on. She will be anxious about any sprays, cats hate that hissing sound, can't she have drops instead. The vet nurse can do the worming or show you tricks. She sounds very anxious and a bit unhappy, would she tolerate something like a zoom groom glove when she's sitting on your lap. Does she have quiet safe places she can hide in the house, is it a noisy house.

SKiddies not kiddies

Agree with @MissMoneyFairy it’s worth considering constipation. After our poo-mageddon <shudder> incident we’ve realised we can’t give the cat biscuits without bunging her up, so she has biscuit soup now. Ie biscuits with some water, and it seems to be working. We’ve had no incidents since.

Constipation can turn in to a medical emergency for cats so keep a close eye on the litter tray usage. if there is no poo action after a few days or only hard pellets, or any sign of straining to go, get naughty tortie to a vet.

TempCat is on Royal Canin Fibre Response; he once went nearly 6 days without a poo (even with an vet applied enema on day 5) . Now he regularly goes every second day. He likes the biscuits but it comes in wet food version as well.

She's on a wet food diet (purina gourmet!) with purina 11+ dry food once a day, and is definitely drinking, she's also slurped some tuna in spring water tonight. The house is quiet and predictable, and she has lots of quiet, private spaces to enjoy. I was in hospital so I wonder if this has unsettled her as despite her swat team tactics, she follows me everywhere. Thanks for the suggestions for chewable treatments and Royal Canin, I will have a look!

Your going in hospital will have upset her plus you may of smelt different when you first got home, try feliway plug inside.

Your cat needs to see a vet - poo stains and skid marks are really not normal and are a sign that she's in pain or struggling to use the litter tray properly.

My cats are all outdoors and we've never flea treated any of them. We worm them with Panacur that just goes in their food.