Rescue cat- don't know if this is working?!

[bananascentedhair]

I recently rescued a cat. He is estimated to be just under 1 year old. He lived with a family from a kitten and apparently there was an incident where a toddler living in the house grabbed him and he scratched (unintentionally) so the family got rid of him.

He was then living with a foster family and they had other cats and dogs. They had older children but also had grandchildren (young) who visited and they said he was was great with them.

I brought him home a week ago. I expected him to be nervous, and he has been, often hides etc. He is better around me although he does still occasionally bite but I have put this down to being a bit nervous.

The issue I have is that I have twin toddlers (age 3) in the house. They are naturally excited when they see him and I encourage them to use gentle hands and I give him as much space as he needs to, to escape the noise and bother. However he does still appear to be bothered by the noise that toddlers naturally cause and has on a few occasions already, bitten and scratched the twins even when they have been gentle with him (I haven't left them unsupervised with him for obvious reasons).

I'm starting to wonder if maybe his exposure to young children in the foster home was limited because it was grandchildren who would presumably come over and then leave... plus there were other animals in the house so he wouldn't be getting all of the attention. I'm also wondering if he is missing being around other animals.

I am really fond of him, but I'm worried he's not happy and am worrying more that he's going to keep biting and scratching my children (hes also done this to my parents who were stroking him gently).

It's been a week now so I know it's still very early days, any thoughts? Please?

I really wouldn’t have a kitten with toddlers. You should have asked before you adopted him. Ideally children should be older or the cat should be used to living with them.

It sounds irresponsible of the rescue to rehome a cat who had previously scratched a toddler and been rehomed because of it in a house with young children. I still follow the rescue from which I got my cats and they often state in their posts that cats should go to homes with no children, children over 6 only, only children who are teens etc. They also regularly post that a cat is nervous and will need a quiet home. I think it would be reasonable to return the cat to the rescue and make it very clear that the cat isn’t suited to a home with young children and that the rescue need to be more mindful when placing him and make sure he is going to a quiet home with no young children. Potentially he needs a house where there is already a friendly existing cat too.

This. You should return the cat and not get another one until your DC are much older. Cats and small children rarely get along.

@Overtheatlantic I did ask about it and as a result waited a while to get a cat they deemed suitable. They said that they felt the initial incident was a one off/a reaction to him being picked up suddenly and then in the foster home he had been no problem around the grandchildren or any one else in the home.

He's fine with me, generally, which is nice to have some company. But I specifically wanted a family pet and he's not showing any signs of relaxing around the twins ☹️

I really can't see your situation improving, sorry. Aside from their background some cats are just genuinely quite nervy in nature and dislike unexpected noises, and unpredictable or sudden movements. This cat really doesn't sound like a good match for a household with toddlers.

You need to keep your children off the cat. It'll take a long time before they can be trusted around him.

Is there an area that he can escape to, to get away from them?

One of my cats won't tolerate my son. The other one will. They've known him since he was a baby.

@MiserableMrsMopp he does pretty much have the run of the house as they tend to spend a lot of their time in their playroom or bedroom. However they are really excited when they see him and naturally when they come home from preschool want to see where he is. He will either hide or arch his back and even when I try and limit their interactions (ie I'll bring them in to see him when they've calmed down a little) it still doesn't seem to end well and he ends up either running away or scratching/biting. He's also bitten my Mum twice and my Dad (twins weren't even there when this happened)

Thanks for all of the responses so far by the way

He’s only been there a week! Of course he’s not relaxed yet. Our cats didn’t even come downstairs for about four months. Keep your toddlers away from him for a good while. He’ll no doubt be fine given a bit of time to settle and feel at home.

Has he got any pain anywhere? I’m just thinking if he’s done it with yr mum and dad what were they doing to him? Was there a point when they were stroking him that he lashed out? Mine do it when they don’t want anymore strokes in that spot. Has he got a high up cat tree? Have you got them to give him dreamies and play with a wand toy or laser? Has he been played with properly before I wonder? Also cat nip. Does he have a cat flap?

Also he should really have been in his own little room with his food and litter tray not really having thd run of a big house with strangers wanting a piece of him it’s probably far too soon and he will settle. Especially once he can go outside. I didn’t realise it had only been a week.

I foster cats and really he shouldn’t be roaming the house after a week. You need to keep them in one room until they settle and then gradually open the house up to them. Sit in the room with them so you build their trust, I sit and watch something on an iPad and they get used to my presence and smell. Will give them treats etc and build up contact. Going straight to stroking a rescue cat after a week is a no no for me, I let them come to me and do everything at their pace. This also gives them a safe space in your house to go to once they have more of a run. There is a rule which is 3 days, 3 weeks and 3 months. Have a google, 3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to start coming out their shell and being used to you, but basically 3 months is when you would typically expect a cat to be settled. Sounds like you have rushed everything with them and he is overwhelmed and therefore reacting