Dispirited cat servant

[Izzy24]

So our cat is 9 years old and has been with us since she was the tiniest of a feral litter.

Is beautifully house trained, rarely even sick inside. No longer brings the dead indoors and is very good with any visiting children whose petting she tolerates and even at times seems to enjoy. She could easily get up and stalk off but she doesn’t.

Except…she won’t tolerate any interaction with us (her devoted staff).

I’ve waited patiently hoping she would change as she got older but there doesn’t seem much likelihood of that now.

There’s nothing like a cat snuggle!

Any thoughts? (I’m just whining really..!)

Oh dear! I also have a pair of nervous Nellies. One has gradually warmed up and will occasionally sit next to us. The other mostly looks terrified if any human is within arm's length of her. I don't think they were socialised well as kittens before they came to us at 13 weeks.

Both tolerate me more than others. Probably because I feed them. It's a good job they are cute.

Hmm …

She tolerates the visiting kids but stays away from you? So essentially she’s an introvert who feels most relaxed left alone in her own space? She’s polite to the visitors but feels comfortable enough with you to simply be herself. Don’t take it as a rejection of you - take it as an acknowledgement that you’re her safe space. (At a distance.)

Obviously it’s a shame if you have a need for reciprocal affection!

One of ours is daft and stupid (teenage but still goes out and eats things that make him sick) but he’s ridiculously loving and will call to us from around the corner, before he can see us. By contrast his cleverer sibling is chillingly aloof most of the time.

Do you think your cat would tolerate a new kitten in the house?

@eurochick it is indeed a good thing that she is very beautiful!

@TheGlamour yes I am definitely needy! I have wondered whether a kitten might improve things. However, she isn’t at all tolerant or friendly of other cats coming into the garden so I’m not sure whether this would work. And thanks for your positive spin on it!

She has taken to spending an increasing amount of time with our elderly neighbour. He lives alone so I don’t want to ask him to keep her out. He tells me she sits on his lap so perhaps she has chosen her human.

(just realised that last paragraph is a typical MN drip feed 😂)

Yes. I have a cat like this. She's 12 now and we have got to the stage where she sleeps on the bed and will tolerate a tickle on the tum when I wake up in the morning - but even then it is limited to a minute or so! She also purrs when she sees me, so I think she likes me but there is no interaction and sometimes I don't see her from one morning to the next.
DS and I have talked about getting a new kitten but she's so timid that we think we've left it too late now. It is what it is and she's happy so we just have to go with it ...

I've got three cats who have a perfect, pampered easy life facilitated solely by me. In fact, if not for me all three of them would be dead. But it would appear that giving even a ounce of affection/attention/gratitude in return would be literal genocide as far as any of the buggers are concerned. They all love DH and will sit on his lap. Two of them adore DS1. One of them will ignore DS2 until he's hungry and then be his best friend. I do not exist as far as any of them are concerned.

I took on a "not socialised with human" rescue last year. She's a few years old. Even the experienced rescue woman hasn't been able to do much with her. I've accepted that young Saffron (the cat, not the rescue woman) will possibly only ever sit at a distance but I get slow blinks. Her boyfriend Escobar is adapting to her but I miss him and my old cat Elsie cuddling up together near me on the sofa. Sometimes it is what it is. If they weren't happily bonded (which I'm thrilled about as Escobar was absolutely smitten with her aloof predecessor Elsie) I'd consider a third cat that is more "normal" so I'd get snuggles. Instead I get Escobar smashing his head into my leg whilst purring for to rattle the windows.

However as you've got one cat, maybe a more socialised one might work? I've stuck with a boy and a girl cat and it seems to have worked.

My 12 year old dcat had never been a lap cat; friendly, but not cuddly. Then I got a small, extremely affectionate and lap-loving dog . Dcat is extremely jealous of small dog and sits next me on the sofa and glares at ddog on my lap. Right now I'm sitting in bed watching tv with dcat curled up on my lap...