‘It’s me or the cat’

[Onthedoubleline]

11 month old neutered boy kitten (huge tabby) has peed inside 3/4 times now. Unfortunately last night it was on the £700 mattress and he also pooed on it too. We had just come back after a long day out (which isn’t particularly normal) but he was purring/happy and our other cat happy/purring.

the kicker is he chose to pee and poo on our bed AFTER we came home?! I was in the next room. I just don’t get it at all. I don’t know why he is doing this! My partner says he is done with him and wants him outside - he is not a farm cat and although is happy outside he is a purring, cuddly, Velcro cat in the house. My daughters love him and it feels like an overreaction. He says if he doesn’t live outside he will leave.

Why did he do it and please, what do I do? 😪😪😪😪

There’s no way I’d put up with an animal shitting everywhere, let alone on a bed. At the very least the cat would never be coming upstairs again.

Your partner is abusive. He also sounds unhinged. Please think about the example you are setting to your children by staying in a relationship with such an abusive prick.

I would advise you to post on the Relationships section of the forum about your 'relationship' because I bet there's more going on than the cat issue.

Your cat toileting in places other than the litter tray - a visit to the vet is required to rule out any health issues. You are a 2 cat household; therefore, you need 3 litter trays. The rule of thumb is 1 per cat, and 1 additional tray. What litter are you using? If it's hard/stone type litter, the cat may not like hard litter, so you could try a softer litter like Cats Best Clumping Litter. The trays need to be scooped regularly/kept clean. Cats don't like using a dirty litter tray.

You currently have 1 litter tray. You said you'd been out for a long day, so the tray was likely used, and your cat didn't have a clean tray. What type of litter tray is it? Some cats prefer open trays, others prefer hooded trays so that they have some 'privacy'.

Your cat could be unhappy. Your toxic, abusive partner could is most likely be the cause and your cat peeing and pooing on the bed could be his way of expressing his distress, possibly fear, and given the incident occurred when you arrived home (presumably with your partner as you said 'we' in your opening post), this definitely sounds as though your cat was distressed at your abusive prick partner arriving home.

For your sake, that of your children and last but by no means least, for your cats, you need to address the massive issue of your abusive partner.

Yeah we've had a couple of cats that have done this.

We now put waterproof covers on all mattresses so no matter what it doesn't get the mattress.

It's usually down to the litter tray not being up to cat standards - needs to be clean and also not disputed territory with another cat. As others have said, try additional trays with different types of litter.

You can also introduce a policy of bedroom doors shut.

I suspect your cats' behaviour will improve dramatically once you get more litter trays and chuck your dickhead of a partner out of the house.

Watch Jackson Galaxy’s YouTube videos on litter trays. You need 1 per cat plus an extra. For two cats I have 4 litter trays which I scoop once daily. Litter tray placement is important too - they need to be dotted all around the house, not just in a line in the utility room. They also need to be placed such that the cat has an escape as being ambushed by your naughty brother while you’re on the toilet isn’t fun.

Agree with everyone saying get him vet checked.

What was the nasty git doing to him at the time? You weren't in the room, it could have been anything.

I'm wondering if the cat is feeling stressed with the shouty partner?
How long have you been with partner? Dreadful of him to call you pathetic in front of your daughter

Get your poor cat to the vet! it could be a physical issue or the stress of having someone who does not like him (your partner) in the house.

I would keep the cat and get rid of the human...

Also make sure if you have two cats that they have separate litters and their own little space.

Thank you all very much for your advice. I have a lot going on at the moment and the poor cat seemed to just light a touch paper. I’m trying to leave.

You dared to leave dcat. The protest poo /pee..
Ddog was the same...
For 12 years...
Limit the areas dcat cat get to when you aren't in. Can see dh's point tbh..

It sounds like this has a massive backstory attached , if you're ' trying to leave ' then gather up everything that is yours and go asap ( I assume not your house )
Yes getting started again is hard , but you will be so much happier once you are more settled .
You don't sound very happy at the moment .

Cats are sensitive to stress.
Sounds like your cat has the measure of the situation here OP,! Good luck with leaving - I suspect you'll all be happier

Thank you all, it’s amazing what a cat can give you. What’s the phrase, if someone shows you who they really are, let them. It just fundamentally changed the way I see him as there’s no way I could ever treat an animal this way - regardless of their behaviour.