Need urgent advice, mental health down the drain

[PineCone98]

Adopted a adult cat a couple of weeks ago from a local rescue. Things are going awfully, she does not like my DD at all (age 6), she's just going for her when she walks past now, scratching, swiping, hissing, jumping at her legs and growling. She is incredibly stressed, I can't keep them apart as cat is just meowing if in one room and my DD is getting more and more upset and its causing cat to be more stressed out. She is also having diarea on the carpets, I can't cope. She has drawn blood on DD arm and DD is having melt downs. contacted the rescue and they said they have no space for me to return her, even though they can't it a trial run. I feel so bad for the poor kitty..

Hi everyone, just back to see if I could ask for advice please. I know I have done the right thing for all involved but I can't help but feel sad and a bit embarrassed about what's gone on. But what has got to me is the rescues response, one of the workers there gave me a dirty look, the other was very sharp with me and I heard her swear under her breath when she saw me approaching the yard.. she then said to the cat 'poor girl' and clearly wasn't happy. She then basically blamed us for the cats behaviour and the diarrhoea on the change of food but I actually kept her on the same food as what they had been giving her. She tried her best to make me feel even worse than I already did

I understand why that upset you, but again that sounds like more evidence they are not a good rescue.

A good rescue would not have sent an unvaccinated, unchipped, and unwell cat off to a new home, would have checked in with you regularly after the adoption, and would have tried to offer you support and advice on how to make things work with the cat and your daughter. A good rescue would also rather that you brought the cat back and admitted it wasn’t the right home, rather than risk it being more stressed, or potentially running away and becoming a stray.

Do try to put it out of your mind, and don’t have anything to do with them again.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, that has helped me as I feel really guilty and their attitude towards me just made me feel so much worse. I think that they are trying to keep their costs down, I did see a comment somewhere from them that said it costs the exact same for them to change chip details than it does to chip the cats so they leave it all up to the new owners

If you are in England, if the cat is more than 20 weeks old it must be chipped by law, unless it is a feral. Rescue centres aren’t exempt from that. So they aren’t complying with the new requirements.

There isn’t much point saying you are a rescue if you don’t have the funds to cover the basic duties of caring for animals that you take in. Chipping a cat only costs around £20.

Now that you've returned the cat I'd just try and put it out of your mind. This place gets worse and worse the more you post - to the point it's like a drip feed.

If you decide to get a cat in the future perhaps go for a playful kitten from a reputable place

Sorry if it seems like a drip feed.. I just have it weighing on my mind so have posted to try and get it all out. I will try and move on and put it out my mind now.

I'm in agreement with pp that this looks like a really poor excuse for a "rescue"; as @stormsandsunshine says, it's illegal to not have a cat chipped so that's the very first thing they should have done along with vaccinations. And to then have unvaccinated cats roaming around freely including fighting....😱

I should point out that not all local, independent rescues are like this. Where I got mine from the first thing they do is get new cats health checked & vaccinated by vets, neutered if they are old enough & haven't been yet etc. There are cats who roam there, but they are only the permanent residents. Yes they may well have a group of cats in the same pen but they are always introduced carefully. All cats (unless they are straight in and out) have another vet check before they are allowed to go to their new homes, no taking home a cat the day you see them! They have been known to delay or even completely cancel an adoption if anything is found to be wrong with a cat at this last check.

If you give us an idea what sort of area you are, some people on here may be able to recommend good rescues local to you. You may well have to go to an independent as many rescues, including some branches of the big ones, won't let you rehome with a child the age of your DD in the house. They can also be fussy about not having someone in the house all day if you work, too close to a road but won't tolerate you having the cat as indoor only etc etc. And please don't get a cat or kitten off social media, as this only encourages backyard breeders.

You definitely did the right thing in going for an adult cat with a smallish child in the house as a general rule, though you will know better than us if your DD is mature enough to always be gentle in handling any cat as kittens can be very fragile.

Please put this incident behind you, as from the details you have given it sounds like the "rescue" is fully at fault here. But do consider reporting them to the RSPCA (England or Wales) or the SPCA (Scotland) for neglect. Cats Protection may also be able to advise on this, but only the RSPCA can act really.