Advice needed, new rescue cat, difficult evening, does she want to run away?!

[Tired92]

I adopted a cat a couple of days ago. She is showing some confidence, exploring, likes fusses and rolling on her back for belly rubs. Between that though, she is quite scared I think which is understandable. I have a 5 year old DD (kitty has lived with children before). My daughter wanted to play with her so got a toy mouse and she all of a sudden swiped at my daughter on the arm. She now keeps running from my DD. My DD wants to pick her up, I've explained she doesn't want her to and she needs to let her come to her. But DD is struggling a bit with that, although she gave her a stroke and kiss before bed and I think because it's all new to her too she's just a bit over excited. But again, kitty will let her stroke her and was purring in between being a bit scared. I think kitty is a bit over whelmed. She hasn't eaten much of her food today and I noticed she had some diarrhoea also. She is using the litter tray fine. She also was meowing at the door and window and I'm worried she wants to run away.

Poor thing sounds very stressed. I'd try and confine her to one room of possible and go back to basics. Just go in and sit with her and maybe read to her. So she's used to you. Keep your daughter at arms length for a while and absolutely do not slow her to pick you up the cat.

She is very stressed and scared. Her world had been turned upside now.

She needs peace and patience and time. Perhaps restrict her to one room for the time being. Keep a radio on for company and let her get used to her surroundings.

It may also be helpful to get some feliway in a plug, buy her good quality food and keep a bit of Hills dry food down.

You need to take it very slowly and explain to your dd that the new cat is scared.

Let her settle in her own time.

Agree with the other posters - the cat needs plenty of time to settle down and learn to trust new people before what must seem to the cat like enforced play, though I'm sure it wasn't meant that way.

You say the cat is used to children, but is your DD used to living with cats? They are very different creatures to dogs in their behaviour, and you have to bear in mind that in the wild they are prey animals as well as predators so are naturally wary.

And yes she probably does want to run away right this moment, straight back to what she thinks is her home. And escape the scary bouncy thing that presumably reacted loudly when scratched by the cat?

I would guess that given the age of your DD, and that from the sound of it this may be your first cat, there may have been a few missed clues as to the cat having had enough hence the swipe. Have a look on YouTube or decent web sites for signals a cat gives out - Jackson Galaxy is my go to on You Tube.

You're going much too fast. Just take a massive step back and let the cat approach you - don't force her to play, don't approach her and certainly don't get your 5yo to kiss her.

Explain to DD that everything is new for DCat and she's scared not excited so DD has to be very calm and DCat will come when she is ready.

Get her involved in more hands-off aspects, e.g. helping you prepare the food, taking photos. Teach her how to do the slow “cat kiss” blink and eventually DCat may well blink back at her.

Do you have anyone with a calm, more established cat that DD could play with and learn how to interact with so she also gets the hands on interaction she wants?

I really wouldn’t entertain letting your DD at 5 put her face anywhere near a cats face, she could be scratched very badly! Your DD can not pick her up properly. The poor cat has had lots of changes, your house needs to be quiet and calm, if you don’t overwhelm your cat now she’ll be more comfortable later on.

Yes, of course she wants to run away. She is scared, unsure of her surroundings, and doesn't understand that she lives with you yet. I agree with others, please give her space and time to settle in, and keep the cat and your dc apart from one another as much as you can for the time being. Any time together needs to be VERY closely supervised.

When you get to the play stage again, use one of the fishing pole types, much safer