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Original poster

So so upset cant stop crying

30 replies

Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 21:26

One of my 3 cats "Meme" has recently been treated for cystitis / blood in urine (when and if she could go)
She was 12 yrs never been ill before very agile and alert

1st urine test was done at vets which showed Bacteria etc.

After a month it had not improved so she got another round of antibotics and pain relief etc. Bloods and urine was done at vets and sent to labs but was delayed due to Xmas etc so they came back as Contaminated.

On follow up appointment today we agrred to do more samples and a scan as thought she may have kidney stones as not improved and over weekend wee was very very limited.

Got a call few hours later to say she had a large mass in her bladder which had attached to something ( cant recall at mo) which couldn't really be operated on but if they tried it would result in her having a hole to wee so would be incontinent all the time so at high risk of infection around the site and pain as the mass would keep growing affect her other organs therfore her quality of life would not be great at all.

When i visited her this afternoon she perked up was purring and very alert. I gave her a few treats which she ate, This is what I'm really struggling with she just looked and sounded so content waiting to go home.

We stayed with her whilst she was PTS it was very quick but I just can't stop crying. We did not expect this news. I know it was for the best for her in the long term but I'm struggling at mo

Tonight I think will be worse as she would sleep on my pillow or end of bed.

Please if anyone has a cat that is weeing or is stuglling to, do not hestate to take for check up it could be a simple UTI or more sinister .

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 06/01/2025 21:34

Aw, have a hug from me. It's awful to lose a much-loved cat.❤

Mamandhercub22 · 06/01/2025 21:36

Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 21:26

One of my 3 cats "Meme" has recently been treated for cystitis / blood in urine (when and if she could go)
She was 12 yrs never been ill before very agile and alert

1st urine test was done at vets which showed Bacteria etc.

After a month it had not improved so she got another round of antibotics and pain relief etc. Bloods and urine was done at vets and sent to labs but was delayed due to Xmas etc so they came back as Contaminated.

On follow up appointment today we agrred to do more samples and a scan as thought she may have kidney stones as not improved and over weekend wee was very very limited.

Got a call few hours later to say she had a large mass in her bladder which had attached to something ( cant recall at mo) which couldn't really be operated on but if they tried it would result in her having a hole to wee so would be incontinent all the time so at high risk of infection around the site and pain as the mass would keep growing affect her other organs therfore her quality of life would not be great at all.

When i visited her this afternoon she perked up was purring and very alert. I gave her a few treats which she ate, This is what I'm really struggling with she just looked and sounded so content waiting to go home.

We stayed with her whilst she was PTS it was very quick but I just can't stop crying. We did not expect this news. I know it was for the best for her in the long term but I'm struggling at mo

Tonight I think will be worse as she would sleep on my pillow or end of bed.

Please if anyone has a cat that is weeing or is stuglling to, do not hestate to take for check up it could be a simple UTI or more sinister .

Aww I’m so sorry to hear this 🩷😢 just want to send love, poor soul.

Original poster
Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 21:39

Thank you just a big shock today

OP posts:
CarrieMoonbeams · 06/01/2025 21:40

I'm so sorry for your loss, but honestly, please be reassured that you did the right thing. It was quick, the people who loved her were with her, and she's not suffering any more.

We lost our wee cat last month and we miss him so much too. Cats are just wonderful aren't they? Such a lot of personality crammed into a wee furry bundle.

RIP Meme.

Lovemusic82 · 06/01/2025 21:42

Sorry for your loss. I lost my boy suddenly a few months back due to a mass on his heart, he was a similar age. I still miss him so much and didn’t realise how hard it would be losing him. My deepest sympathies xx

Original poster
Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 21:47

She was lovely, very submissive to other cats, but didnt like to be picked up but would always relax with me at night time.
She was rescued from the street at 6 yrs old, she was miochipped to someone about 15 miles away who didn't report her missing and could just about recall her.
I took ownership of her after speaking to the registered owner as I knew she wouldn't go back there and stay so I told her I would keep her but vet bills would be hers as registered owner. She soon agrred.

OP posts:
user1257953 · 06/01/2025 21:51

I'm sorry for your loss, it's heartbreaking to lose a pet especially when you don't expect it. They're such a huge part of your life. It's natural to cry and to grieve but you did the best thing for her, she was content with little treats and you didn't let her suffer. A virtual hug x

RosesAndHellebores · 06/01/2025 21:55

I am sorry for your loss. She's hunting now with our old boy I hope. He'll look after her.

Cailleach1 · 06/01/2025 22:01

They say grief is the price we pay for love. And, it sounds like she was well loved. How wonderful in a world where she had negligent owners, that she found a good home (and a good life) with you. Even to be with her to ensure she was relieved from suffering at the end.

I know it hurts op, but you did right by her. That every cat should have such a caring home and hearth!

Coffee62 · 06/01/2025 22:01

I’m so sorry. It’s truly one of the worst things to ever have to make the decision to let them go. It does get easier, and know that you’ve let her go now when she’s relatively well rather than letting her become further unwell and suffer.
I’ve been there many times and feel your pain. Just know she’s watching over you from the rainbow bridge 🩷

Original poster
Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 22:02

Thank you all so.much x

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 06/01/2025 22:03

Very sorry. I lost one of mine in April and it was such a shock. So I totally get it.

StrawberryPavlova · 06/01/2025 22:06

Big hugs OP, I also had to make the decision today to have my elderly cat (17) PTS today. Still can't believe I went to bed last night and she was fine and not even 24 hours later she's gone. We're all very sad here this evening, my eldest daughter has taken it quite hard. It's awful when it's so sudden.

lovemycbf · 06/01/2025 22:09

Oh I do feel for you
I lost my dear old girl a year ago (although she was a dog) I never thought I'd manage to stop crying.
She had a cardiac arrest at the overnight vets so I wasn't even with her but had to decide there and then on the phone as to resuscitate or not. I chose not as she was old very sick with pancreatitis and it was the last kindness I could do
It's heartbreaking and fills you with such sorrow
Be kind to yourself as you did what was right for her and didn't prolong her suffering ❤️

Pigeonqueen · 06/01/2025 22:12

Very sorry to hear this ❤️

Original poster
Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 22:24

So sorry for everyone's loss, yes its very hard.
I wanted to be with her and glad I was but when she had the sedation she was semi standing up so just fell down in the table so.quick
I wanted to say stop dont PTS I cant get that image out of my head.

OP posts:
spiderlight · 06/01/2025 22:28

I'm so very sorry - what a horrible shock. We lost our beloved cat very suddenly to a 'hairball' that turned out to be a very aggressive tumour and it absolutely floored me. They are just such wonderful unique little characters. It sounds as if she had a wonderful life with you and you gave her such a gift at the end, taking on the pain so she didn't have to. Thinking of you 🌈

fiorentina · 06/01/2025 22:52

You sound like a lovely caring owner who gave her the best life. It’s so hard to lose a pet but you also did the kindest thing and will not see her suffer. Be kind to yourself.

bluebalou · 06/01/2025 23:14

So sorry for your loss Flowers sounds like your cat had a wonderful life with you x

Original poster
Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 23:46

Thank you, i only noticed something was wrong leading up to bonfire night i got a litter trays to keep all 3 cats in doors for a week or so.

She was the only one that used a tray during this time that's how I noticed she was trying to wee very frequently.

Maybe we all should have a litter trays even if they are outdoor cats so.if used we could spot anything wrong.

She always went toilet in my back and front and garden never ventured further out.

I've tried to keep busy tonight washed her blankets etc but still burst of tears.

I'm having her cremated with some small bits of ashes put in a little heart shape on a stand.
The rest will be in a scatter box.

One of my other cats Kiki age 10 had her from.a kitten. Took her to the vet for a small lump on leg and very hungrey all time, lost weight got told she had Tyroid issues on meds since March. And had a hesrt murmer

Her tyroid levels are good now compared to the start, being reviewed in Feb as just need levels to go down a bit more. It's been a long 10 months but she ok lump is no bigger.

I may consider radioactive therapy but due to the heart murmer she idealy would have a heart scan but trying to avoid sedation for mo untill levels are at best.

My 3rd cat Ginge , i took ownership of about 4 months ago. ( i know I'm.a sucker )
She was another one on the streets but not chipped etc. Age about 3 or so.
Insurance for all 3 petplan but worth every penny for them

I don't think i can take another one dying although it comes to us humans and animals eventually.

I don't want to go to bed as Meme (Marmalade) used to sleep upstairs.

If I out live the remaining I really don't think I will get another pet I know its a pet but I'm.truley shocked and heart broken but know time will heal somewhat. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 23:46

Sorry that was long !

OP posts:
Pudmyboy · 06/01/2025 23:58

Oxo01 · 06/01/2025 23:46

Sorry that was long !

Don't apologise, let it all out on here, we will all listen and sympathise. It's so very hard but you were there with her, and gave her the gift that is the hardest to give, a pain free end when you want a miracle recovery. It's very early days, let you and your family grieve together and remember the good times.

When my little love died, as a pure coincidence a friend had sent me a spoof Ladybird book on cats, and strange though it may sound, it did make me laugh and bring comfort. Maybe, with your family, try to remember funny things she did, funny ways she had? And give yourselves permission to mourn 💐

Pudmyboy · 07/01/2025 00:00

StrawberryPavlova · 06/01/2025 22:06

Big hugs OP, I also had to make the decision today to have my elderly cat (17) PTS today. Still can't believe I went to bed last night and she was fine and not even 24 hours later she's gone. We're all very sad here this evening, my eldest daughter has taken it quite hard. It's awful when it's so sudden.

So sorry, what a shock that must have been to you all💐

Original poster
Oxo01 · 07/01/2025 00:07

@Pudmyboy Thank you and to everyone that has read and responded x

OP posts:
Tortielady · 07/01/2025 00:54

Many condolences on the loss of your sweet girl. I've been there and I know what it's like. One minute we had a reasonably healthy cat (considering she had a systemic viral condition) the next, we had a cat with an aggressive oral carcinoma. We took the decision as you did, to let her go before she disappeared entirely into the illness; my last memory of her at home is her tucking into a dish of her favourite tuna rather than being in pain with a rotten quality of life.

The process at the vet's was one of the most humane and dignified things I've ever seen and very low-tech - just a couple of kind professionals with a blanket, an electric razor and a syringe full of an overdose of anaesthetic. Our beloved cat went off as quietly as if she was going to sleep. I'm not given to certainty about many things, but that's one of the decisions I can revisit in comfort. It was right for her and for us, as we didn't have to see her suffer. Give yourself time; your cat had a great life with you and she knew she was loved.