First time pet owner - can I make my 2 year old cat any friendlier?

[TheBramley]

I love her to bits but she’s not a friendly cat - I was hoping for a hopeless, desperately needy cat that I could endlessly complain about to everyone that’s she was waking me up at 5am and sitting on my lap (or laptop) to validate me as a human being.

She graze eats, sleeps downstairs 10pm to 9am. Is (totally by her own choice) a house cat and does the rounds of each of the rooms a couple of times a day then takes the nicest spot in the main bedroom for an hour or so, spare bedroom for an hour or so and youngest kids cabin bed for an hour or so before moving back down stairs for the rest of the day.

She won’t tolerate snuggling or even mild scritches but early evening she will always sit right next to me, and if she enters any room I’m in she seems to greet me with a sound that I could swear sounds a lot like my hello, only Meow.

I’d like her to be furiously and annoyingly clingy. Please help.

Oh, I’m really not a troll. I was trying to be light hearted and silly - I’m a bit down and was making fun of how I wish my cat was cuddly - she’s really not. I could really do with a friendly cat right now with how life is.

Ours was like that at 2. Has got more affectionate over the years - at age 6 she’s still not super needy (thank god) but definitely likes to follow me round, roll over and demand strokes.

I’ve got two young cats, both are rescues and neither of them are cuddly or needy. Our last cat was a big armful of snuggly furry kitty cuddles and I miss his snuggles a lot. 😞
In my cat owning experience, they do get cuddlier with old age, especially in winter but you never know with cats. I’m hoping my two will become cuddlier when they’re out of the energetic teenage years.

I think the PP was joking- replicating a computer game fail rather than actually accusing you of being a troll!

Ideally you need to invest in some expensive, dry clean only, easily snagged clothes.

Having a full bladder is also a sure fire way to become sat upon.

If she's two it's very unlikely that she'll change. She's an aloof cat, who will take the odd scritch and tolerate you, when she feels like it.

Your best bet is roast chicken. Our female feline was a grumpy little minx but now she knows that she gets two fresh chicken days per week she’s very friendly. She sits and watches it getting prepped. She guards the oven very diligently. She chatters to me, and the oven, whilst it’s cooking. Some chicken in her normal meal.

I then bring a small plate into the living room and she now sits and gives her paw and is rewarded with more chicken.

She now just comes to sit on my knee when she feels she needs company.

She also gets roast beef and sometimes chopped boiled egg. She’s definitely food motivated,

sometimes it just takes time (it took us at least six months of ‘chicken Friday’ to get to this point.

Forgot to say - mine also enjoys a Sherpa fleece blanket so when it’s washed and clean she will seek it out (maybe try one on your knee)?

We took ours in when she was nine and she’s now twelve. It’s just different to the noisy house she used to live in,

Mine was similar but got cuddlier with age. One thing she loved, when sat next to me, was when I used to comb her fur with a metal comb, like a metal comb hair clip thingy I used to have. She loved it and purred continually.

Sorry if you know this already but a few small tips for anyone who has never had a cat before

• they don't like animated behaviour or wide eyes, so play it cool. Think managing a teenager rather than a toddler (puppy)
• slit / almost closed eyes = smile. So "smile" at them whenever you see them.
• don't touch their tail

Does she like to play? My girl cat loves leaping after a bird teaser wand and got more affectionate after I started really putting the time in. She's still not super cuddly but comes for pets.

Sorry - probably didn’t include enough emojis!
I sort of hoped she’d be a bit of company when I got her - which in a way she is, but based on other cats I’d known (not my own) she’d want to be around people. She has an open cat flap that she almost never uses (fully knows how to) and stays in the house 24/7, but never with anyone. She tours the house all day to a set plan and if anyone is in a room she was planning on spending time on will shift her schedule to avoid them. But 7 to 9 pm will sit next to me (only me really) about a foot away on the sofa. No touching allowed. Then bed. 🤷‍♀️

mine did not purr till she was 15

I will get onto Vinted immediately 🙂

This is utterly lovely and I’m so happy for your cat 🙂

You didn't :( :( :(

Have you tried feeding her a leg of lamb?

Females can often be a bit more aloof - I always find that a big pot of cat nip helps, they get a pinch or three and it gets them snuggly playful and a bit whizzy 🥰

My rescue cat was aloof to start with. She likes company, but not the stroking. She does follow me round, but doesn't always let me stroke her. Also she wont sit directly on skin, i have to have a blanket over my lap. So try having a blanket on your knee.

She still tries to kill me and occasionally will try to suffocate me in middle of the night by sprawling across my face. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Actually I am sure - I don’t care if she hates me, I tell her how much I love her every day and she’s such a Good Girl. I think female cats seem more aloof - they have a persona to maintain.

Thank you everyone - it looks like nobody thinks I’m doing anything actively wrong? She’s very sweet. Never does anything unpleasant - no scratching or biting but will skedaddle if I attempt to do more than a minor scratch of her ears. She likes a tooth brush on her head if she’s really sleepy. She was excellently handled as a kitten by 2 lovely married GPs and all their 4 children and is a pure breed. We chose her out of 6 kittens when she was the tiniest of tots because she was clearly the cleverest and she was then neutered at the first possibility so there isn’t any stress in that department:

Our cat isn’t a lap cat at all. He’s friendly, loves being on the sofa near the kids, or in the room near us at other times but would never contemplate climbing into a lap or snuggling right up. He’s getting calmer and soppier as he gets older - he’s 3 now so hoping this may change!

Give her time and patience. Keep being around for her without being overbearing she will come to you in her own time xx

Agree that they get a bit cuddlier with age. OUr ginger boy was always quite friendly, but he wasn't interested in sitting on laps/sleeping with us etc. Then he started occassionally jumping onto the couch in the evening for a cuddle.... as long as as no one made any sudden movements. Now, age 7, I regularly come downstairs to find him sprawled out next to DH who is murmering to him about how beautfiul and gorgeous he is, he sleeps on DD's bed OFTEN and his morning routine about 50% of the time is to jump up to lie on me in bed purring and snoozing - i think he's just letting me know he's ready for breakfast, but will cuddle me in the meantime! He also loves cuddles and scratches.

I also agree that bribery is probably not a bad strategy!

Our little 2 year old is the same. She has the best life but does not like attention from us. She is a confident little madam and not scared of anything. She just seems super independent. She even pushes our hand away if she's had enough of being stroked. She doesn't even rub her head on us which makes me sad. She does it on objects though. And she does sleep on me but if I try and stroke her too much she will bite me. I hope she becomes more affectionate with age.

Have you got a Feliway plug in? She doesn’t sound stressed but it might make her more relaxed and affectionate! Feliway also make some relaxing treats that mine love and they definitely seem more chilled afterwards. Other than that, play with her as much as you can and try catnip. She might warm up as she ages! Some cats are just quite aloof but she’s only young still, could be different in 2-3 years.